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Doikers 12-12-2010 02:23 PM


You wouldn't be burdening me at all, Mark. I'm here for you no matter what is going on in my life.
Same for me Lindsay . My advice is craptacular but if you need to rant or talk or anything I'm willing to listen :)

Doikers 12-12-2010 02:45 PM

Sorry I ranted last night . I was worried that my Lithium ......well I'm worried I've built up a tolerence to it . Taking myself into bed in the daytime is definatley a sign of depression for me and it's been too frequent recently for comfort . I HOPE HOPE HOPE it's just a blip brought on by the Holidays. I think I'm going to go to bed again just too get away from being up and having to do stuff . Just for like an hour or so *Justifys it to himself*

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 03:25 PM

I'm sorry Mark, I hope it starts working again soon.

Best wishes for your service Lindsey.

I really want to shoot my emotions. They can never make up their effin mind. It's weird. I am both happy and unhappy at the same time. 'Numb' and hurting. Ice Queen and moaning Myrtle. I don't understand it and it just confuses me. I wish I just had straight emotions that went one way or the other, how can I feel all these opposites at the same time?

Louise 12-12-2010 03:32 PM

hugs everyone

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 03:33 PM

Hey Louise. *Hugs*. You alright?

Doikers 12-12-2010 04:13 PM

*Hugs Lia* Emotions like that screw with me too Lia , It's so frustrating :S I get Numb and Anxious at the same time heh, It does not make sense . My mind is racing right now , it's like Sad , now content , now anxious wait I've changed my mind sad again.

*Hugs Louise* How are you today?

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 04:23 PM

Glad isn't really the right word, but I am kinda relieved I am not the only one. It sort of makes me feel as if I am going insane and it's unsettling. I don't want you to feel like this too though because it's doing my head in.

Doikers 12-12-2010 04:27 PM

It is a releif to know you're not going through this alone . Thats one of the reasons RYL is such a great place , all of us thought we were alone until we found this place .

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 04:51 PM

:) It is a little. It makes me feel more sane, although it makes no more sense than it did before, I feel a little better about feeling it. I also wrote about it. Made this poor fictional character of mine feel what I am feeling, which helps me to sort through my emtions and I came up with the analogy that it's like there's a little box of feelings in the centre of me and all of what I should be feeling is trapped in this little box so I can still feel them because they are there, but not nearly as much as I should but even when I am happy, they are still there making me hurt a wee bit and other times I feel them more than others because not all boxes can stay closed forever.

Doikers 12-12-2010 04:58 PM

That's a good ananlogy Lia :)

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 05:07 PM

Thanks :) It helps me to sort out my feelings, I have to analyse everything, it's just what I do and drives most people insane :) I'm tired, but I still have to go out. It's a Christmas party at my church group though and I am looking forward to it.

Just had a small heart attack because a boy called Jack who I think likes me in that way just text me and asked me to call him as he needs to talk to me but thank goodness he just wanted to know if he could borrow a Christmas hat for tonight.

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:09 PM

Enjoy your party Lia , Phew! do you have a spare hat?

one_step_closer 12-12-2010 05:15 PM

Hope you enjoy your party, Lia.

The service went well. I want to email the minister and thank her but i'm not sure what to say. I'd also like her support with coming back to church but, again, I don't know what to say.

SparkleKitten 12-12-2010 05:17 PM

*cuddles ward*

Sorry for not being in, its been hectic for me recently with getting ready for Christmas and uni stuff. I'm failing 3 modules out of 6 :( Not happy with it but there's not much I can do about it. Looks like I might be re-taking the year, but eh, it'll be fine I'm sure.

Wish I'd been in more, been thinking of you all x

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 05:18 PM

Thanks Mark and Linsdey, and yes, I do have a spare, but it says 'kiss me' which isn't entirely appropritae for church group methinks.

Hmm...Linsdey you could just start of with 'thank you for the lovely service this afternoon...' or something along those lines and then go on to say you want to come back to church on a regular basis, but you're a little nervous about it and could use some support. They're very nice in a church :)

*Hugs Sarah* Hey :) I hope you're alright.

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:29 PM

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Lindsay* I agree with Lia , I'd just lead with a "Thankyou for a lovely service today"

Does anyone know if Crimson's about, all this talk of church's make me want to ask her advice about something. Nothing bad but important (To me)

EDIT:- Crimson is only on on the Weekdays isn't she ? I've just thought this

SoMuchMore 12-12-2010 05:41 PM

*hugs sarah* im sorry uni hasnt been going fantastic, but hopefully it'll work out alright. Its okay to have to re-take some courses. especially as you struggled so much this semester. don't let it get you down too much.

*hugs mark* i havent seen her around today at all but i'm sure she'll pop in soon. She doesnt always come to her computer when she's at home. I think she prefers to be on here at work. I hope that your lithium tolerance isnt increasing too much. Maybe its just a depression blip... but maybe u should mention it to your doctors just in case.

*hugs lia* I hope you have fun at your party! Im glad that boy just called about a hat lol. I sometimes have to analyze things too a lot of the time... although sometimes my brain does it for me and thats when things get a little messy. I like to be in control of it for sure.

*hugs lindsay* I agree with lia's idea :-) i'm glad it went well.

*hugs kitty, helen, felicia, heather, and everyone else*

*waves to owen* Here if you need to talk as well. It is okay to talk in here if you need to.

Sorry i didnt do everyone, tried to catch up a little bit. Won't be around again until tomorrow though... got 12 hours of meetings/work today and have to study a bit for finals.

its 3 degrees (fahrenheit) with a real feel of -22 (again fahrenheit)... i don't want to walk a mile and a half to this meeting. I'm going to feeze to death :-(

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:50 PM

*Warming Hugs Laura* OOhh Keep bundled up Laura! Is that a mile and a half combined? or each way ?

Does anyone know if you can tell if you have Lithium tolerence from your blood tests ?, I'm due them tomorrow but kept putting off the appointment . I'll get them done , It doesn't have to be every 3 months to the day , just 3 monthsish.

SoMuchMore 12-12-2010 06:05 PM

Mile and a half each way :-( and itll be dark when im walking back so itll probably be even colder.

I don't think you can measure tolerance in a blood test. I'm pretty sure blood tests only detect the levels. You could always ask your doctor about that though, as I am definitely not an expert. Do you want to know if you tolerance is up? or is that why you are putting off the appointment?

Doikers 12-12-2010 06:26 PM

I didn't really put off the appointment it just didn't get made hmm oops.
I mean I was on 800mg Litithum and got better then depressed because of tolerance (Lithium is the only med My Dr Changed and it worked), then I was increased to 1000mg and got better and then Depressed again so ...1200mg and it worked but I think it could be wearing off and I can't just keep taking more and more Lithium *Sigh*

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