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Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 09:07 AM

*hugs Katie* - Thanks hun.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm looking better and must be feeling better ... but I feel like I am crumbling to dust and so hurt and depressed inside ... no better, just getting worse. *sigh*

Doikers 11-11-2010 09:12 AM

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Crimson* I read your R/V , You are not a bitch ! NOT NOT NOT

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Ian* It's good to have another bloke about , it's been Oliver and I for a while , now theres 3 !!:)

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Kahlia* I;m so sorry you feel so low :(

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:13 AM

I just phoned my Mum , Aparently both my Dad and my Sister think I've gone all manic since our bereavment . I'm SO trying to keep busy ,I NEEDED new shoes for winter so I bought some in the Sale at Millets with my Birthday Money , and I bought my aunt and Uncle Christmas presant yesterday , Cheese and Wine :)

I just wrote my Dad a text saying " If you want to come up at lunchtime I'll make you a cheese roll" and then I deleted it , SO ****ING STUPID!!!!!!!

Is anyone about ?

My trousers ripped last night .........wonderful! (Sarcasm)

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:18 AM

Now I've been told I'm Manic I FEEL MANIC , I took a diaz , I haven't been taking them , perhaps I should have been , thats what they are for .

xxjuliexx 11-11-2010 10:23 AM

-sits looking around-

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:32 AM

*Hugs Julie* How are you Julie ???????? Sorry Owen , I didn't spot it was you , how are you?

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 10:47 AM

Oh Kahlia, I'm sorry your feeling like that :( It's frustrating though I know.. *cuddles* if you need anything at all.. I'm here.. hang in there chick. *cuddles tight*

Hey Mark (OMG I still think Adam or have I got it wrong? *hides in embarassment*, I'm here..

Hey Owen.. how are you tonight?

Doikers 11-11-2010 10:55 AM

Kaytee*Hugs* I'm Mark yes :)

I feel like screaming and punching things , even going down to the police station and putting a stone though their window just so I'd have someone to fight and usually I hate confrontation , I HATE this , I'm not neeting my nurse until 3.15pm , SO SO SO SO Angry , I can't make myself cry :S I texted my friend but she often leaved her phone in a different room from herI wrote a message the online RYL support , I DON't know what to do .

My Grandmas Funeral is set now, 18th.

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:08 AM

Kaytee , you okay there?

nicole94 11-11-2010 11:21 AM

*hides* i say i wanna fight but i am supposed to be doing an assignment on where i wanna be in 10 years time, but i can't see myself being here in 10 years time, i can't even see myself being here tomorrow :'( *cries*

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:29 AM

*HUGE HUGS For Nicole* You WILL be here tomorrow , you just have to take tiny baby steps hun, and we all will be here every baby step of the way, I'm still sorry you feel so **** though :(

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 11:39 AM

Not really Mark.. Is there anything else you can do that you can take some of that anger out? Got a punching bag or anything similar? Or anything you can do that won't cause harm? *hugs*

*hugs Nicole* Yes, baby steps all the way. It is hard to look that far though.. just.. think of things you like to do and what you've always wanted to do. I hope you'll be okay x

Doikers 11-11-2010 11:46 AM

Kaytee , I took 2 Diazepams and they've kicked in so I'm calmer now ,I am actually a bit zonked heh , But I was freaking angry before so this is better .
Do you want to talk about whats bothering you?

~Kaytee~ 11-11-2010 11:52 AM

Glad your feeling calmer now :) Look after yourself though okay? :)

Ugh, I don't know, just all over the place at the moment, mainly struggling with my ED and just... yeah. I don't even know what to say really, but thanks for asking. I'll be okay.

Doikers 11-11-2010 01:23 PM

Is anyone about?

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 01:33 PM

I'm here if you're still around Mark

Doikers 11-11-2010 01:51 PM

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm getting angry at nothing and everything again , I'm going to take another Diaz soon I think if I don't calm

EDIT:- Took one

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 01:58 PM

*hugs you back* - That's not good hun. Is there something safe you can do to help keep you calm?

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 02:00 PM

Is the anger directed at anything in particular? I know you have not had a good time lately but I'm trying to think of some suggestions other than those that Katie suggested such as punching pillows and other soft things.

Kahlia1981 11-11-2010 02:04 PM

Hopefully that diaz will settle you down some Mark, but please let us know how you are going.

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