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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 02:48 PM

oh my goodness, I let the thoughts happen, I shouldn't have stopped cleaning. This could be my partners last birthday. He's in breifs all day at work today about all the dangers and threats that he'll be facing on his next tour of afghanistan. It'll be his 7th tour of duty, his 3rd in a row of afghan. He said to me "Wow what a birthday, being told all day how I might die. I'm already thinking that it'll be 3rd time lucky for the taliban to get me" And here I am, crying making this about me?! I'm such a ****ing selfish self centred bitch :( I'm also terrified of life without him. *sobs*

PrincessSparkle 16-03-2010 02:55 PM

Hows everyone feeling today?
Scarletdreamer, just breeeeeeeeeeathe. Your college work will get done.
Write a to do list.Everything you have to do.
Then divide it up in today,tomorrow,next week etc.
I'm def a list person but everything I write down I wanna get done that day..which doesnt happen and then I get frustrated and mad.But then someone said divide it up and it helped me! :)
Spend three hours behind computer yesterday finishing assignments... :(

PrincessSparkle says for everyone to go Youtube Kerli-teaparty.
She's awesome!!
*hugs for everybody*
Paddys day tomorrow everyone's going drinkin...me?I'm working.and broke...I havnt beend drunk in so long,would looove to get wasted! :(

PrincessSparkle 16-03-2010 02:57 PM

PrincessSparkle is realising there really arent enough hours in a day and its kinda getting her down :(

*starts randomly dancing along to the Glee soundtrack to cheer herself up*

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 03:01 PM

I like lists too. They bring me comfort in one way and stress in others but I don't think I could function without some form of list.
I'm meeting my mum for lunch tomorrow for paddy's day. I'll be wearing my shamrock headband - I'm half Irish so allowed to half celebrate. No drinking though for me or my mum, we don't do well with alcohol, must be the english half, lol

nicole94 16-03-2010 03:16 PM

*hugs everyone* thanks guys, but sorry, i ODd again saturday night :( im still in the hospital, although theres nothing medically wrong with me, theyve decided im not safe enough to go home yet :( im feeling CRAP! i was admitted saturday night, my mum didnt come up with me, i havent seen her or spoken to her since :( im really starting to miss her, and need a hug, but kate (the nurse who i am really close with) is so upset with me for doing it again she will hardly talk to me :( gah. idk whether i wanna go home, or stay here, but i do know i wanna cut :(
*retreats into a corner and cries*

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 03:35 PM

*huggles nicole* I don't know what else to say atm, just...*huggles*

nicole94 16-03-2010 03:46 PM

thankyou. i needed that. even if it wasnt a proper hug. im just getting so stressed, and i need to catch up on my school work too, ive missed 8 weeks of school now, and im doing my GCSEs this year :( how're you feeling??

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 03:59 PM

Something that I've learnt through life, is that exams will always be there, we can always get qualifications. I'm still hoping one day to go back to education. I've dropped out so many times through ill health that I'm too defeated to try again at the moment. But I know one day when I'm ready, education won't have gone anywhere. So look after yourself first and foremost, then you can think about your school work when you're able to.

I've supercleaned my living room now. So time for a fag break and then super clean the bedroom. Then another fag break then it'll be time to put my happy face on for Ewan's birthday meal.

*goes out to the smoking shelter*

nicole94 16-03-2010 04:06 PM

thanks, i know that the education will always be there, but well, im so close, it seems a shame to give up now, so i wanna push through and get it over with. so im just gonna work hard for the next couple of months, do my GCSEs, and hopefully get good grades, it saves me having to re-take them later. lol. have fun cleaning, i hate it :/ thats one good thing about the hospital, i dont have to do anything lol

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 04:46 PM

if I had the energy I'd be jumping round my now super duper cleaned flat...just jumping 'cos I've finished cleaning and to keep me distracted.

Time to freshen up, hair & make-up to be done, try to have restraint when ordering food this evening. I've had 2biscuits whilst cleaning with 2 diet red bulls, so not too bad if I have 'proper' meal tonight....I hope. Just got to remember I'm feeling worse due to PMDD....and also weighing more and bloated. *tries to keep self rational*

*group huggle!* Sorry for masses of posts today, I just really need this place right now.

PoisonedApple 16-03-2010 04:52 PM

*huggles hayley*
that's what this place is for.
got any wood or laminate floors? sock sliding is totally fun... more fun that jumping for me :D

nicole~ good luck on getting good grades, i'm sure you can do it :) but don't push yourself too hard.

CrazyHayley 16-03-2010 05:20 PM

Thanks for the huggles crimson. Time for me to toddle off out now. *deep breath*

nicole94 16-03-2010 06:24 PM

good luck xx

AARGH panick attack :( *grabs blanket and hides in corner, clinging to her phone because its her lifeline*

nicole94 16-03-2010 07:17 PM

anybody in?? i need a hug? :(

Doikers 16-03-2010 07:20 PM

* Hugs to y'all *

I gave in and injured .
I feel guilty that I gave in :S
But I feel so much less anxious.
*sigh* I'm a bit numb now.
I'm so weak , I couldn't even tough it out out until tomorrow .
Sorry this is a bit disjointed.
I'm thankful that the loud thoughts have calmed, does anyone else get REALLY loud thoughts that tell you to hurt yourself ? Not Voices , Thoughts

PoisonedApple 16-03-2010 07:20 PM

*hugs nicole*
I'm in and out of here all day (working the rest of the time :) )
Feel free to PM if you need to talk to someone.

Doikers 16-03-2010 07:21 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Hope this helps:-)

PoisonedApple 16-03-2010 07:22 PM

sorry I missed your post Mark, we posted at the same time...
I know exactly what you mean. It happens to me a lot. Thoughts that at times even flow into images if I ignore them long enough...

nicole94 16-03-2010 07:31 PM

thanks guys. dw that you injured, everyone slips up at times, you've just gotta get back up on you're feet, brush yourself down and try again :D urgh. now i want my mum more than ever. she just called the hospital. but i only got to speak to her for a couple of mins then she ran outta credit :(

nicole94 16-03-2010 10:31 PM

*checks self in for the night* eurgh. feeling majorly triggerd and unsafe! damnit, i must seem like a right whiney cow :/ dw, im not always like this, just having a bad day :(...............................

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