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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Kahlia1981 11-03-2010 02:12 AM

*huggles everyone and then tries to disappear into the probability matrix*

Doikers 11-03-2010 09:36 AM

*Hugs for you all*
I have a Psychcologist appointment this morning and am anxious which is odd as I'm not usually anxious with her , I feel ill and flat , grrr . I HATE feeling flat.

Jetforce 11-03-2010 11:05 AM

Good luck with it!

Hope ur psych gives u some strategies that will hopefully help u in the long run!

Kahlia1981 11-03-2010 11:48 AM

*hugs everyone*

It's been a big couple of days ...

Yesterday I got the results of my shoulder x-ray and ultrasound. It showed that:
1. My shoulder is slightly curved
2. My humerous sits forward in the shoulder
3. There is an inflammation in the bursa (fluid filled sac through which all the tendons etc travel)
4. Both the bursa and the supraspinatus tendon are impinged (the supraspinatus is part of the rotator cuff)

It may not have been nice information to receive, but at least there is actually something wrong with my shoulder.

Today I had an emergency appointment with my psychiatrist. He has put me on Topiramate but not touched my other medication at this stage. It was a very intense, 45 minute session with him. Discussing the three remaining drug choices, what has been happening, working out a Plan B, trying to set something up so that if I come out of this depression and decide that I don't want to go back there something will be in place so that I don't make a suicide attempt.

Unfortunately the drug is damned expensive. The pharmacist told me $39.95 and then when the drug was put in front of me ... it was $45.85. I was so pissed off that I flipped into my "I'm going to f****** kill someone and I don't care whether it's me or someone else" mood. My housemate asked me why I was suddenly so happy but wouldn't buy my answer .... that kind of sobered me back down again.

Meh. So over this depression.

*leaves hugs for everyone along with a lamington sponge roll*

MammaMia 11-03-2010 01:45 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Doikers 11-03-2010 04:14 PM

Ugh , I've stocked up on alcohol but tonight is gonna be the last night I drink , I just have to today to numb the triggering thoughts and urges , please don't judge me too harshly . I hope it's ok to post this in here , My hands are shaking grrrrr.

SoMuchMore 11-03-2010 04:19 PM

*pops in to cuddle everyone*

Mark - we dont judge. We are all here to offer support to each other. Hope u are alright, be careful with the drinking.

Still thinking of all of you. Going to talk to my ex tomorrow. I have talked to him since we broke up but i think now its time for a real conversation... not just awkward moments and me wanting to cry. I think i may try to disappear after i'm done with undergrad. Not from here and maybe not completely, but i think i may move far away... start over.. Idk.. just something i'm thinking about

Hope everyone is alright.
*leaves more hugs*

PoisonedApple 11-03-2010 05:42 PM

*hides in a corner and cries till the point of passing out*

Doikers 11-03-2010 06:17 PM

Damn I am so triggered.
NO-one to stop me.
TheSimpsons triggered me ffs.
I'll try and not harm but I can't promise.

Sefka 11-03-2010 07:25 PM

Mark - hold on hon, and stick to Futurama (that's the second time I've read that you said the Simpsons triggered you!) and, y know... just be careful xx

Kahlia - hope the shoulder's not causing too much pain - I didn't even understand points 2-4 of what's wrong with it :confused: and I hope the new meds work out and you don't/didn't kill anyone xx

Fallinstar - good luck with the ex. Be strong xx

And Crimson - big hugs cos I don't know what else to say. You were really nice to me last night. Have the shredded remains of my blanket - they're comfy xx

Hope everyone else is okay. I'm still feeling wired, like I might explode if anyone gets too close. Time to sleep.

CrazyHayley 11-03-2010 08:27 PM


Wow, it seems everyone is in need of some tlc - remember its ok to take time out for yourselves and make yourself the number one priority....so my councellor told me and I have on a post it note on my mirror to remind me!

Had weird day, went to see a friend who's younger sister tried to kill herself a few weeks ago. She didn't seem to have much sympathy for her which crushed me, cos I thought well how would she react if I ever tried that again?! How selfish a thought is that, when obviously her sister is struggling?!

I also thought that I should go to my GP to get my meds reduced as I noticed I wan't as obsessive compulsive anymore and that felt weird to me...but how mental is that, missing being obsessive compulsive?!

I just have to remind myself its PMDD time, so I'm going to have irrational thoughts...they are just thoughts...it does not make them true....they do not need to be acted upon....I love my post it notes!

PrincessSparkle 11-03-2010 09:51 PM

Yay I got a blanky! :)
Resisting the urge to roll myself a cigarette...im a dancer must not smoke...
Life sucks.
I vote we all find a hairbrush and dance around to Spice Girls songs!

Scarletdreamer 11-03-2010 10:21 PM


Sorry have been MIA for a bit... things haven't been the best. Thinking of you all though :) and missing you...

Hayley, you play WoW too? which side? and what toons do you have? :D (I could talk WoW for hours... lol - that's so sad)

I am so tired. Well, groggy really. I took a nap this afternoon and just didn't want to get up afterwards, was so comfy just lying in bed. Gahhh. But I got up and had a little bit of caffeine (i.e., 2 sips of diet Mountain Dew, as too much makes me VERY anxious)... that seemed to help.

Am struggling with wanting to cut/purge and don't know what to do. I also am not having much luck with schoolwork, which is awful... updated my r/v thread if anyone wants to take a look. :( No particular triggers in that update I don't think.

*group cuddles*

PrincessSparkle 11-03-2010 11:00 PM


Theres always tomorrow!(thats what im telling myself!)

Scarletdreamer 11-03-2010 11:09 PM

Yes but I am in my senior year & NEED to get this senior seminar paper started, as it's due in less than a month!! *minor(ish) freakout* :(

And there are only 3 more days after today of spring break... so yeah.

WoW is so much fun though... *whinges* Heh... :(

And I am freaking WARM in here... southern side of the apartment right against the wall. No fan going. It's hot in the room, doesn't help that I'm wearing sweats.


PrincessSparkle 11-03-2010 11:20 PM

Sweats are comfy though!
I want my pyjamas!
I was sick last two days so completely failed to hand my assignment in today...
How much work you gotta do,what u studying?

Scarletdreamer 11-03-2010 11:57 PM

Sweats are comfy, which is why I am wearing them. :D Jeans are torture... lol.

I am studying psychology. :) I love it... but it can be a bit much at times. Triggering classes etc.

Am so anxious right now... :( My husband wanted to go out to eat tonight but I can't leave the apartment - why? - because am too anxious!!!! I texted my NP to let her know & also took another mg of Klonopin (clonazepam)... so hopefully that'll kick in soon.

Just want to curl up & sleep for hours... I am so tired. :( Hubby took tomorrow off though so that'll be nice... will get to hang out with him and just enjoy my last weekday of spring break. Hopefully the weather will be nice... so we can go for a walk etc. :)

*cuddles all*

frenchhorn 12-03-2010 12:13 AM

*hides shaking in corner* this too much for him, the stress the waiting, can't deal with it

quiet1 12-03-2010 01:49 AM

i think i am going to do the IOP.
i need encouragement. i don't know.

*hides in corner*

Doikers 12-03-2010 09:50 AM

*Great big group hug*

I really might try and avoid The Simpsons as it's having such a negative effect on me from time to time .

I am drained this morning , I have to meet up with my social worker in an hour and 15 mins . I just want to go back to bed :( . I am at my parents for the weekend for mothers day so I won't be here as much until Monday which is freaking me a little as I feel I need the support but I'll cope .
I caved in to the urges and harmed last night , I am just so fed up with this I 've been doing it for over half my life:( I just want it to go away....

Thanks for the words of encouragement and support everyone.

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