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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 30-01-2010 12:44 PM

*huggles Helen* What happened that's a "huge bloody mess"? Hope you can fix up things a bit, as upsets etc. like that are no good (I am assuming that it has to do with other people - perhaps I oughtn't assume?).

I just got friend-accepted on Facebook by Doris Smeltzer!! :D (She wrote Andrea's Voice: Silenced by Bulimia which I've read twice & is keeping me from giving in to the urges... it was about her 19 year old daughter :( so sad.) But anyway, I was really happy to get that accept!! lol. May sound silly, but oh well.

*cuddles everyone*

Kahlia1981 30-01-2010 01:12 PM

*hugs everyone and could really do with some hugs or warm wishes herself*

LauraFriend && April: I think that the idea with the pause button is, if you aren't able to pause before you get into a situation. then you can get the skills you need to cope with it

MammaMia 30-01-2010 01:31 PM

*cuddles April & Kahlia*

Wow, you lucky thing :D Although I got another authort on my facebook aha. She's written books about children in foster care. Covering a range of issues like cutting/abuse/etc :)

I'll pm about the mess thing, incase someone reads it, it wont help later..

Scarletdreamer 30-01-2010 01:31 PM

*cuddles Kahlia & sends some snuggly-warm wishes on her way!!* ♥

Ahh I see now. That makes sense. :)

Feeling **** still?

[Awakening] 30-01-2010 08:20 PM

Had a good day with Ethan, stressful, but when is life with a toddler not?

Parting tore my heart to pieces. Shattered.

Now the drink and fags come in....

I was feeling optimistic. I was hopeful. I was looking forward to the rest of the weekend. I was feeling like I could handle placement on Monday, for the week.

Now I feel ****. Now I feel broken. Now I feel hopeless.

One tiny good bye and I'm down again. Lord, help me up!

Sorry no supprt from my end, again, tonight. I love you all dearly, I hope you're not suffering too much sweeties.

*lots of cuddles to all on the ward*

feeling really shitty right now :-(

Scarletdreamer 31-01-2010 01:20 AM

*cuddles Jocelyn*

I'm glad that you got to spend time with Ethan, but I'm sorry that it was stressful. However, you're right - what time spent with a toddler isn't?!

What made/makes you feel broken & hopeless? Sorry if I missed that in your post... :-S

*more cuddles*

SoMuchMore 31-01-2010 02:16 AM

*cuddles helen, kahlia, april, and jocelyn*

hope you guys are all feeling alright.

brndedhero 31-01-2010 03:05 AM

Missed the past 2 days of posts so I'm sending out hugs to everyone in here.

I hope things get better for everyone soon.

MammaMia 31-01-2010 03:25 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry I went off and didn't really explain. Sorry I didn't come back tonight like normal. Plus sorry I didn't send a pm April, probably for the best I didn't anymore. Sorted it out anyway I think :)

Tonight's been, how can I put it, really emotional. But I've realised some things tonight, thank goodness I did it now, when I can change it and if something I want happens, then it does, and not because I forced it to happed, made mistakes & got hurt along the way...

Scarletdreamer 31-01-2010 10:44 AM

*cuddles LauraStar* How're you doing, love? (and it is fine with us if you do talk about what's going on in your head/life!! ♥)

*hugs Alan* How're things going for you?

*cuddles Helen* I'm glad that things got sorted out... that's good. :) And I'm glad that you realized those things... way to go!! Sounds like if whatever it is does happen, it will be in a healthy way rather than in an unhealthy way - and that's awesome. :D

I just got up about 20 minutes ago... morning routine, lol, of RYL & WoW. It's only 5:45am here so am going to be tired tonight. Went to bed just past 9 last night. Ugh. :-/ I hate feeling sleepy.

I also hate feeling distracted & unable to concentrate!!! and that's how I've been feeling lately. :( Like, ever since I started the Depakote. So yeah. I'm blaming the Depakote... my NP said it COULD be that but "let's give it another few weeks" - AHHHH!!!!! I need - need - to be able to focus for school, especially this term, ESPECIALLY this term!!!! :ermm:


*hides* :o

Imaginary_friend 31-01-2010 12:16 PM

*hugs everyone*
sorry - can't do individual replies, my head is all over the place.
April - i can't concentrate either. literally, 10-15 minutes and that's it. haha. managed to write an essay though..somehow. maybe it's just how i work best. f*** knows. hmph. oh wells. at least it's done. only another....40000 words to go....:/
had a good day yesterday - avatar is officially amazing. can i go and live on pandora please? but today is gonna be weird....this guy i've been having all the dramas with is coming over later to pick up tickets for this gig we're going to and i haven't actually seen him properly since before christmas and before all this **** happened...*sighs* maybe i'll just not be in....urgh. but i wanna see him. i dunno what's going on in my head...
*hides in the corner*

MammaMia 31-01-2010 12:30 PM

*hides in the denial tent*

Strawberry.Bananas 31-01-2010 12:44 PM

I can't cope anymore. Nothing has gone right so far this year and I can't carry on like this. I went out last night to try and have a good time and get over Graeme, but I ended up missing him even more, having 50 and my phone stolen from my bag.
I want to die. I have no idea what to do anymore. I don't know how I can stay safe. The crisis team will be no use, they wont put me in hospital cause I'm not severe enough. I don't know what to do.

[Awakening] 31-01-2010 12:48 PM

Oh Vicki hon, I'm so sorry about your phone and money! Thats awful, it can make u feel really vulnerable and pointless. I'm so sorry sweetie.
Please be strong. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know its hard to see but its there. We all love you and want you to fight for your life, so please do sweetie!

Have you got any friends you can hang out with today?

I'm sorry the crisis team suck (i can second that!) but if u really don't feel safe and u feel u need to be admitted then u need to make that clear to them. You need to be blunt and tell them what you need hon.

Have you got anything planned for today?

Strawberry.Bananas 31-01-2010 01:13 PM

I honestly can't see that light anymore. It seems to be getting darker and darker if anything. Nothing's going right. At all.

Not really...I have my family around but I just want to...

Maybe...I had an appointment with my doctor tomorrow anyway so I'll talk to him and see what he says...I can imagine he'll just tell me to hold and see what happens though. That's what I'm always told.

My plans for today are calling the police and sorting out insurance now, yay! I might take my niece out in a bit if I find the strength...

[Awakening] 31-01-2010 01:21 PM

Thats a good idea to take you niece out. that might keep u distracted.

I'm sorry again that things are so bleak, but they will lighten, given time.

I wish I could help :( Just try to be completely honest and open with your dr and try not to entertain any negative plans sweetie.

x x x x

Scarletdreamer 31-01-2010 01:35 PM

*cuddles Jocelyn, Vicki, LauraFriend, & Helen*

Vicki, love, I'm so sorry that that happened to you last night, especially when you were trying to forget about Graeme. What happened was/is awful & I'm glad that you're planning on calling the police. *squish* Please try to get help as well - there IS light at the end of the tunnel, you just might not be to a place yet where you can see it... but there is, you've got to keep believing that!! ♥

Joc, how you doing, sweetie? *huggles*

Helen, what's up? *hides in the denial tent with you*

LauraFriend, I told you that Avatar was amazing!! :D I'm so glad that you liked it... I wish I could have as idyllic a life as they did on Pandora (not the humans, the aliens, forget their name!! :o). Well, not necessarily idyllic as there were enemies etc., but it sure looked lovely!! :) especially compared to being a human on that planet. >_<

Do you have any idea why your concentration is so bad? Mine is seriously awful, bugging me to no end!! *hugs*


[Awakening] 31-01-2010 01:47 PM

*snuggles into April* I'm alright I think. I feel a bit dead but that's better than feeling crap so... I think it was the saying bye to Ethan thing that set me off, then my ex started to have a go at me because i had E unsupervised, tis a stupid rule and i'm tlking to my solicitor about getting it dropped it just give my ex amunition against me, power over me and that isnt good for me or Ethan. He was screaming when i left him :-( and it just all set me off.

How are you doing April? You going/ been to church today? x x

Scarletdreamer 31-01-2010 01:55 PM

*snuggles Jocelyn* This is probably an insensitive question & I do apologize - you can answer in a PM or not at all, if you want - but why do you have to be supervised with Ethan? (sorry, totally don't mean it to be insensitive, am just curious as have not heard all of the backstory)

Anyway, glad you're not feeling crap but feeling dead inside a bit isn't much/any better, really, is it? *more snuggles* Hopefully as the day goes on you'll feel even more better. :)

No, not going to church... we do usually go to church but I have a lot of schoolwork to get done - if only I could ****ing concentrate!!! This is driving me absolutely insane. :crying: I hate not being able to focus or take in material!!!

*hides away forever'n'ever*

[Awakening] 31-01-2010 02:04 PM

Not insensitive at all dw April. At the end of dec while Ethan was with his dad i took some sleepers in the bath, ended up at a&e, was fine but very out of it lol and talked to some psychs. told them i wasnt trying to kill myself (the quantity wasnt enough to anyway and the bath was just because i forgot to get out!) i was wanted/needed a rest. So we decided it would be best if ethan stayed with his dad for a while because i wasn't well (depression wise)

Anywho... a doctor, dont know who, even though they agreed and it was in my notes that it clearly wasnt a sui attempt, wrote to social services stated that they werent concerned about ethan because i tried to kill myself!

Social called up my ex and told them that i should be supervised around ethan and that he should seek legal advice if he was worried. So he did.

We went to court ( i really wasnt well, in no state to look after a child and i had made this clear by asking for help, not trying to do it alone and therefore not putting ethan in any danger)

Because of what social services said, even though they never once spoke to me, the court ruled that ethan should stay with H (ex) until i'm better and that i should only be allowed supervised contact, unless H says differently. All a bit of a joke if u ask me. I'm fine with E staying with H because that makes sense, but we didnt need a court to tell us that! Im not thick, if i feel i cant look after E alone then i surround myself with people to help! I always ask for help when needed and now im penalised for it. I know theyre trying to protect E but they have never even spoken or assessed me.

Sorry rant over!

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