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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 26-01-2010 04:20 AM

*walks in crumples into a heap and cries*
why is it the more i help people the more i get screwed over? all little things but they pile up and swallow me whole.
and why do people like to make **** up? someone keeps telling my husband that i'm upset about this or that and this bothers me or that... and some stuff does bother or upset me but none of the things they have said are the things that bother me. so they're telling him things to mess with my relationship... even the things that do upset me i haven't told anyone so wtf? and i don't know who's saying it and he won't say... and right now all i want to do is run and lock myself in the bathroom and hurt till the pain, and frustration is gone...

Imaginary_friend 26-01-2010 11:13 AM

thank you *hugs everyone*
my friend had a massive go at me last night...well, not a go. she told me that she's really worried about me, and she cried herself to sleep the other night because of me. she said she wasn't going to tell me because she didn't want to stress me out.....but she did. and now i feel even worse because she's worried about me. and i can't do anything about it. it's not like i'm doing it on purpose.
*lies down and wishes to sleep forever*

Scarletdreamer 26-01-2010 11:45 AM

*peeks in*

So many posts... sorry can't respond right now as have to ring my parents up, but I will try to do so later. Thinking of & sending love to you all!! ♥

downnunder80 26-01-2010 12:05 PM

really need help, dealing with some serious custody issues and really can't handle this right now, please if there someone who can help, pm me, i cant cope

MammaMia 26-01-2010 12:50 PM

Arrrgh :(

Scarletdreamer 26-01-2010 01:33 PM

What's up, Helen? *cuddes*

And downunder, I'm here if you need to talk... but I don't know much of anything at all about custody issues, sorry. :(

I'm feeling "meh." Went on a "spending spree" in WoW this morning (in-game gold) and now feel bad about it... oh well. :( I'll re-earn the gold doing quests & dailies, so I guess I oughtn't worry about it. Heh. It's just a game, after all. But it does reflect me IRL I guess... I've been spending a lot lately and I don't know how to control it, easily anyway. :(

I don't know HOW to feel actually, **** it all, because if I'm not sick, as my therapist said, then how am I supposed to feel? Jarrod said that I can feel not well but not sick at the same time... which didn't make that much sense to me...

I think I'm going to go write in my venting spot. :-(

[Awakening] 26-01-2010 04:50 PM

Oh my, so much!

I can't catch up properly. I feel drunk but i've not even had half a drinkl lol. I think its just my mood (apathetic) so i apolagise for spellings and typos.

*hugs to everyone* I'm sorry so much is happeniog in everyones lifes :(

I've been searchuing for a cause to my depression for so long and i think ive found it. I think its because my dad was an alcoholic. he wasnt abusive but it affected me anyway.
Anyhoo this is a break through but i still feel sh*t and nwo idk.

I want to get off my face tonight

Ive got to see my son first then im gna take him back and get bladdered and escape.

Oh thats the other thing, me and my cousellor discovered a theme of escapism through my life.... food for thought

love u all, welcome newbies (if there are any)

talk soonx x x x

Imaginary_friend 26-01-2010 08:34 PM

i wanna cry. and i can't. i actually physically can't. i'm absolutely shattered and i've ruined everything. again. i'm such an idiot and i hate myself. i want to sleep. i want to be sedated and i don't want to feel like this.
*curls up in a corner to cry*

MammaMia 26-01-2010 08:52 PM

Really dont feel well :(

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 01:16 AM

*cuddles LauraFriend, Helen, & Joc*

Wish I could help you, loves... :( ...but I'm feeling pretty **** myself.

I'm going onto Depakote soon - have the script, just need to drop it off at the pharmacy - starting at 500mg. Anyone have any experience with it? (divalproex sodium) Also will be increasing my Abilify from 20mg to 30mg... because of the white noise that's been in my head off & on. Yey for being psychotic... :(

And I still feel **** because of that therapist thing. I did text her today & ask her if she intentionally wanted to make me angry, but she replied & said that she was just trying to challenge some of my cognitive distortions. GAHHHHH!!!!!!!!


[Awakening] 27-01-2010 01:19 AM

*finds april and squishes*

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 01:19 AM

*squishes Joc back*

Am off to bed I think... before tonight gets much worse. :(


MammaMia 27-01-2010 02:02 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

brndedhero 27-01-2010 02:55 AM

*hugs for everyone* I hope everyone feels at least a little better soon.

Looks like it's yet another night of not sleeping, I have things that need to be done tomorrow as well, though I have had things that have needed to be done for a while but I keep putting them off. Oh well.

Any tips on how to get some sleep, or at least something I can keep myself occupied with whilst I can't sleep.

risenfromperdition 27-01-2010 03:05 AM

*curls up in corner*

risenfromperdition 27-01-2010 03:06 AM

wont be on from thurs-sun btw, am doing a service trip w/ uni- but my email's on here [or fb if you have it] if you lot need me.
love you guys

PoisonedApple 27-01-2010 05:55 AM

enjoy your trip :)

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 12:38 PM

Good morning everyone...

I am really struggling with a uni assignment that's due today... ugh. It's scoring a bunch of assessments about myself (like the Beck Depression inventory - I scored a 49, and anything above 40 indicates extreme depression) and I don't know how to score some of them. :( I feel really stupid. And as I said, it's due today so... I am going to have to SOMEHOW get it done before half past noon, when it's due. :(

And I feel like purging... stupid me... I hate myself so much. :(

MammaMia 27-01-2010 12:47 PM

Try not to purge sweetie and those tests are stuipd. Just don't think about it maybe when choosing your answers?? *cuddles* I usually score 'severe depression' when I do similar ones online, doesn't mean I *do* have it!! Although I did one or two for my doctor and got moderate anxiety/minor depresion or was it the other round and he didn't do anything *shrugs* This is turning into a pointless post, so big cuddles.

Scarletdreamer 27-01-2010 01:00 PM

*cuddles Helen* How're you doing today? Yeh, I know the tests are kinda stupid, but I have to write a 1-2 page paper on how I scored & one of them I can't find in my packet!! I scored all the rest of them but the SF-26 I can't find, and I don't know if my packet is missing it or if I am missing something... :( feel so stupid!!

I need to escape into a book or WoW or something... but I can't, I need to do schoolwork, damn it all!!!!

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