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7am starts should be illegal. Sorry I've been away a lot, I bought some clay and I've been making a kitty :p *hugs all*
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Helen, my day starts at 7AM too (8 AM classes= me getting up at 7 AM) It's wayyyy too early!
Sarah, aww a kitty?!? Fun! Ahhhh... I'm living. I still feel like I need to die, but whatever. I'm fighting, or trying to at least. |
*Hugs Sarah* that sounds very creative and fun :)
*Hugs Felicia*It's good that you are fighting . Keep fighting :) You are so worth it . |
My commute means my 9am class means a 6am get up - one of those a week, in 3 days next year, 8am wake up monday, 7am wake up tuesday then a 6am wakeup wednesday then probably hibernation thursday and friday lol
And yeah, not too bad at making/drawing cartoon kitties, is good fun too :) |
Sarah, that sounds awful... 6 AM wake up? I'd never get to class on time. lol
Mark, thanks. I don't feel worth it. But I'm trying... so so hard. |
Yeah, if I had a 9am lecture it meant getting up just after 6am. Wasn't great in the winter, but gave me time to wake up on the way.
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Yeah its great for that, you're really awake and productive when you get in, had breakfast and everything is sorted where everyone who lives close is zombie like :p
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The devil is winning i have to die
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*cuddles everyone*
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*cuddles everyone*
Ryuu, you don't need to die, don't let anything win, you're strong and can beat it. I'm heading off for the night now, stay safe everyone x |
Sleep well Sarah, I'll be heading to bed (well sleep, since I am in bed) very shortly :)
I spy Oliver *cuddles* How you doing? |
Cuddles all. Sneaks in curls up under some blankets on the floor. I hurt, I hurt , I hurt.
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Why do you hurt Jill? Talk to us? *cuddles*
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*cuddles everyone tight*
can i have cuddles back please? sorry to ask for them. |
You don't need to apologise for asking *cuddles you tight* Do you want to talk about anything hun?
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Erm tried to do something stuiped, now my neck hurts. Hides back under blanket. Sorry
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*cuddles all*
Sorry for the lack of individuals, and my disappearance. I haven't really been on much since Friday and it's now Monday morning. Been trying to get myself back together after going with my housemate up to the hospital. For anyone that asked: He is fine - looks like he had a migraine because the treatment for that got his pain back to something manageable and he managed to sleep... For most of the next few days. As for me: I've been sleeping quite a bit as well. Struggling to keep on top of things, but I do have a nasty chest infection that I'm also struggling to keep on top of. My anorexic mindset is tending to win and I'm not even sure that I want it to lose, and I'm struggling with urges (SI and suicide). But I guess that it will all work itself out. Just got to hold on because it can't rain all the time, right?? *leaves stuffed animals, cuddles and safe care packages for all then bunkers down in the warren somewhere invisible* |
*cuddles Laura and Kahlia*
I'm sorry I can't do more, I'm tired and low on words. |
*cuddles Felicia back*
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Checking in until I get through therapy on Tuesday..
I'm scared...there's so much that seems to be hanging on this appointment (even though I know logically it's not half as dire as I think it is, I've been reassured by *countless* people that my job is still not in danger, but it feels like it's hanging in the balance...and I love it so much and I do NOT want to lose it because of THIS....and I want to get better but but.. I'm scared...I'm so totally irrationally scared... Walks over to her favourite bean bag, curls up and tries to think |
*sniffles* just got in trouble
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*offers Amy tissues* You okay sweetpea?
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julies daddy always yelling about stuff
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Sorry to hear that Amy. Are you and Julie okay? Can I give/offer you a hug?
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I'm here if anyone needs to talk.
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*Hugs Amy*
*Hugs Julie* *Hugs Kahlia* *Hugs Helen* *Hugs Felicia* *Hugs Jill* *Special Hugs Laura* *Hugs RYUU* *Hugs Shaughnessy* I'm back at home now :S it was fun being around my family but 4 nights is pushing my limits , I'm so dissapointed I didn't get to meet up with my best friend and give her her birthday presants but I'll give them to her when we meet next. I hope everyone is doing okay this morning / Afternoon / evening :) |
*hugs Mark* I know what you mean about being around family for a long-ish period of time.
I so can't be bothered with life any more. Daily tasks push me to my limit an dI have so much to do today: take my car to the garage, meet with my support worker to go to the gym, get my stitches taken out, pick up my car. And hidden in all of this is just another day. I'm sick of every day being just another day. I need friends and family but no one is around and my social anxiety makes it hard to communicate. I'm also scared about getting my stitches out because they are the only thing that is stopping me from self harming. |
*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry your day seems so overwhelming , Please try not to self harm once you have your stitches out , You are stronger than you give yourself credit for and you are worth so much more :) I hope your day goe's well Lindsay .
My day is busy to , At 10.10am I have to have Lithium bloods taken as my levels were the highest they could be without being toxic last time , Then I have to pay my bills , get stuff for my brother in law to put on my sisters cake , go to the cyber cafe to find a volunteer shift then home for lunch......Then 2pm meet with my befriending for people with mental illness lady , then 3.30pm meet my nurse ,phew!! |
dont think i can do this anymore the urges are to strong and my will to fight has depleted... they win i lose
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Hi Needhelp *Waves* Please be safe , the urges are tough but they don't win ever, just a little blip and then you win for all the days you don't S.I. .
Also My Ruin fan?? |
Mark, you have a really busy day. I hope you can find some time to relax too.
Needhelp, why do you think you are losing the will to fight? We are all here for you. |
they always end up winning... i feel like im completely losing all control of my life... just wanna sit in the corner n hide n do bad things to myself
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Got up early Voices are so loud drowning then out with music dont seem to be working The devil is in control right now i have to cut
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everything i love i lose... everyone i trust hurts me.. everyone i need doesnt give a damn... my head is a mess... been fighting so long im tired and dont have the strength anymore...
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Needhelp, I know that feeling well but if you look deep inside i'm sure that you can find the strength to get through this.
RYUU, you don't HAVE to cut. No one can physically make you. You have gotten through this before and you can do it again. |
i shouldnt be speaking in here... i should shut up... hides in the corner and tells everyone to pretend im not here
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Hugs everbody.
Needhelp: please stay safe keep talking it's all good. *curls up in corner* |
shadowedsoul: i kno u dnt kno me and i dnt kno u but can i curl up in the corner with u i dnt think im safe on my own? u can say no..
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anyone wanna come be with me in the corner? curls up on my own knowing im not safe by myself
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curls up in corner and supports people.
I'm pretty ok today offers needhelp a teddy. |
stands up and changes her mind n has to be on her own
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Of course u can needhelp.*open arms so u can snuggle with me* if u still want to.
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Erm nevrmind no point running from this,it's only delying what going to happen anyway.=(
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Am home alone wanting to cut so bad the devil telling me to do it
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*Hugs Ryuu* Try to be safe don't listen to the devil
*Hugs Needhelp* *Hugs Jill* |
Crap I'm crying so much right now, got really suiped thoughts running through my head. Thought speaking to my bro would help, but I really don't want to worry him.Sorry I know I'm a pain in the ass.
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*Hugs Jill* you're not a pain in the ass , really you're not . Why don't you type out what you wanted to say to your brother here? I will listen/read :)
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Erm I think I messed up at work and I'm about 5sec from the high jump, and that probley not a big deal but I got a shed load of stuff to pay for,and don't want to put this on my dads shoulders,as he has enough to dealwith right now. Right now I want to dissapear of the face of the earth, and go somewhere and just hang myself. Can't deal with this. Bro I love you and I hate to do this to you, but this is to hard, and yes I know this is pathetic.
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*Super Hugs Jill* you're not pathetic Jill . I'm sorry you are so low :( PLEASE Don't go and hang yourself , You would be terribly missed by everyone here in the ward as well as by your family. Whatever happened at your work isn't worth it , You can be strong Jill *Extra Hug*
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Jill, I can hear how much you are struggling but keep thinking about your brother. That's what gets me through.
Mark, how are you? |
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