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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

taz35 25-08-2010 11:54 PM

4 pages since last night, crap :(

I did read them all though! Kahlia, April, and Helen - CONGRATS :D *throws confetti all around* You girls are amazing :)

So... had my psych evaluation today. Nervous as hell going in, but managed to stay somewhat composed. Long story short, it just pissed me off more. And I'm quickly losing hope of ever getting better. More details in the r/v thread soon, since I don't want to spam the ward :)

*hugs all the wardies tight*

Scarletdreamer 26-08-2010 12:30 AM

*wanders in quietly, feeling like utter *****

:crying:

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 12:31 AM

Is anyone there?

x

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 12:31 AM

Oh hello April. What's the matter? *Hugs*

x

MammaMia 26-08-2010 12:58 AM

My bestie's taken a turn for the worse :'(

Can I have some hugs? :(

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 01:04 AM

*Hugs Helen* What do you mean? What happened?

xx

PoisonedApple 26-08-2010 01:09 AM

*hugs Helen*
*cuddles Lia and April*

~~~
I've been so nervous since applying for that job I feel like I'm going to throw up :/ I want this job so bad I can't help it...
*K I'll shut up about it now...

time to change 26-08-2010 01:09 AM

*hugs hels*

really should get some sleep, or i am so gonna fail this interview... and thanks for the comments everyone :) xx

MammaMia 26-08-2010 01:19 AM

She had stomach pains over past few days, which was down to an ulcer, which ended up bursting and then they rushed her to surgury. Then she woke up about half 5ish. She was okay, despite being sick which is apprantly a good sign, but she's taken a little turn....

"She's has been throwing up a lot more. They took her off the drip and tried her on tablets for pain releif but had to put her back on a drip as she was throwing the tablets back up. She has been in and out of conciousness for the last half hour and has been struggling with her breathing. They have put her in a room herself, she's on oxygen and the doctor has said she is not to be without a nurse for any longer than 5 minutes at a time"

"From her breathing rate, heart rate and blood prssure he said she's at risk of having a seizure. Her heart is beating very fast which he also seemed quite concerned about so he is just trying to get her body under control"

"Yes either before a seizure or her heart just giving up. Goodness that is me set myself of with the tears again pet"

riley. 26-08-2010 01:23 AM

*checks in indefinately *

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 01:38 AM

Hey Becci. Welcome, I'm Lia. :)

Helen, I'm so sorry to hear that. But she's in the best hands. The doctors and nurses, they know what they're doing. She's young, she has a good chance. Things always have to get worse before they get better. I don't really know what else to say. I can't promise you she will be OK, because of course I can't know that. I know that's not what you want to hear. She does however have the best possible chance. People have survived much worse. Praying for her. *Hugs*

xx

MammaMia 26-08-2010 01:45 AM

Thanks Lia *cuddles tight* She's a fighter, she's been really sick before now with various things & she's always gotten through them. She's been through worse than this.....much worse.

*curls up*

Gr, I'm so itchy everywhere, well in 3 places but got creams on them all, so can't scratch >.< BUT I WANT TO SCRATCH >.< Damm sensitive skin :(

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 01:46 AM

hello

Kahlia1981 26-08-2010 01:48 AM

*huggles everybody*

Hels & April: Yes, my celebration day was also the 25th so we all co-ordinated really nicely!!

Hels: I really hope things are starting to improve with your bestie. AND I hope that you are coping okay especially with the job/studies fronts.

Sorry but that's all I can do on the individuals front at the moment. There have been four (4) pages since I was in here last and I just can't keep everything straight in my head and don't want to get it all messed up.

I slept again last night but awoke at 04:30. Yuck. And we had rain (in winter) and it was cold again after what was almost summer-like weather for a few days. The best part about this morning was that my textbook arrived even though I wasn't expecting it until the middle of next week!! And our internet should switch over either today or tomorrow to our new provider so if I don't get online, that's why.

*leaves hugs and cuddles, soft cuddly stuffed animals and safe care packages for all*

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 01:50 AM

Heya Lex. I'm Lia :) We have a lot of newbies recently, not that it's a bad thing!

I hope you're alright Helen. PM me if you need to talk, although I might be going to sleep soon, I will get back to you as soon as possible. I can sympathise with the itching. I got bitten to buggery in Canada.

xxx

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 01:51 AM

hey lia.
Ive been here for a while...but lurking lol
I left for like a year but im back now

MammaMia 26-08-2010 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detour. Derail (Post 2462084)
hello

Hi Alex, how you doing hun??

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2462085)
Hels & April: Yes, my celebration day was also the 25th so we all co-ordinated really nicely!!

Hels: I really hope things are starting to improve with your bestie. AND I hope that you are coping okay especially with the job/studies fronts.

Oooh yay for all 3 of us reaching a milestone on the same day :D I've not had anymore news on my bestie, but hopefully she's improving. I'm trying to cope, I've had to try calm myself down, was making my chest pains worse. Meh >.<

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2462086)
I hope you're alright Helen. PM me if you need to talk, although I might be going to sleep soon, I will get back to you as soon as possible. I can sympathise with the itching. I got bitten to buggery in Canada.

I'm trying to be okay. Thanks for the offer :) Oh that sucks about being bitten lots >.< Hope they stop itching soon :)

*curls up*

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 02:01 AM

pretty **** hels.
but hey
you?

taz35 26-08-2010 02:03 AM

*hugs April & hands tissues*

*hugs Lia* How are you doing?

*super special hugs for Hels* I do hope your bestie makes a fast and healthy recovery <33

*hugs Crimson* My fingers are crossed for you getting the job! :)

*waves to Becci* Hey, I'm Taz :)

*hugs Kahlia* Enjoy your textbook :) Am I the only geek who loves reading her textbooks when they're new? Probably. Whatever.

*waves to Lex* Welcome back then. *EDIT* I was typing this in Advanced mode and didn't notice the avatar or the signature, hence why I didn't realize it was you. People need to stop changing their names >< Confuses the hell out of me! On a side note, why feeling so ****?

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 02:08 AM

You know what guys? I'm going to shock you all now and actually answer! Honestly!

I'm trying to be OK, but I'm not really. The woman I love has left. She's moved away. She really was my everything. She was what I held on for. Each day I looked forward to seeing her, but she never loved me back. She broke my heart and stomped on the pieces, and now, from Dorset, she's managed to hurt me again. It's killing me inside, if I wasn't dead enough already.

There's something else. Something I can't bring myself to talk about, to tell anyone. I trust you guys on here, but I just can't.

What's up Lex?

How are you Taz?

*Hugs both*
xx

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 02:10 AM

haha sorry taz
my nana is dying.

taz35 26-08-2010 02:14 AM

*hugs Lia tightly* I'm so sorry to hear hun :( Broken hearts always suck. *hands over big tub of calorie-free ice cream* Indulge :)

*hugs Lex* And now I feel like a jerk, because I should have remembered this from reading earlier. **** >< . That really sucks though - cancer is a horrible disease to have :( I'm looking forward to the day they find a cure for it...

MammaMia 26-08-2010 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detour. Derail (Post 2462095)
pretty **** hels.
but hey
you?

Oh darling *cuddles tight* I'm in pain & bit low meh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by taz35 (Post 2462097)
*super special hugs for Hels* I do hope your bestie makes a fast and healthy recovery <33

Oh thank you *special hugs for you too* Me too =[

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2462100)
You know what guys? I'm going to shock you all now and actually answer! Honestly!

I'm trying to be OK, but I'm not really. The woman I love has left. She's moved away. She really was my everything. She was what I held on for. Each day I looked forward to seeing her, but she never loved me back. She broke my heart and stomped on the pieces, and now, from Dorset, she's managed to hurt me again. It's killing me inside, if I wasn't dead enough already.

There's something else. Something I can't bring myself to talk about, to tell anyone. I trust you guys on here, but I just can't.

*cuddles really tight* I'm sorry. Can you get in contact with her??????

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 02:19 AM

it doesnt matter taz.
Me too.
Im considering doing a sponsered bungee jump for cristies cancer hospital...but right now..im too down to sort it out :(

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 02:29 AM

No Helen, I can't. It's complicated. She can't wait to have me out of her life though. So yes Enrigue Iglesias, I do know what it feels like loving someone who's in a rush to throw you away.

Thanks Taz, that actually made me smile. I'm off for an ice cream feast at the weekend, although it just hurts so much. All of it. Not just her, everything. I'm so alone.

Lex, I'm so sorry. Sorry this won't be as long as I would like because although it was a year ago Friday, I find it hard to talk about. Point is, my nan was dying this time last year. I called her Nana too. This is the worst part though. I know it sounds awful, but it gets easier once they die. You don't have to watch them suffer anyone and you can get on with greiving. NOt that I ever did. I never let myself. Still haven't and although it's been a year tomorrow, I can't greive. Oh crap, tomorrow. Gah. Anyway, I know what you're feeling right now, but I also know it gets easier. In time. PM me if you ever need to talk. *Hugs*

xx

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 02:31 AM

thanks lia. im scared

MammaMia 26-08-2010 02:35 AM

Sorry I wish I had something useful to help you both =[

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 02:40 AM

This is weird. I'm actually talking about my feelings. My tears must be melting my ice queen heart. Anywho...

I know Lex. I was. I still am. This is the worst part though, watching them suffer and knowing there's nothing you can do. For weeks I didn't know if she was gonna live or die. She would be doing really well, then she would get sick again. This was in the summer holidays, so I didn't even have school as a distraction. Still, I did well on my Romeo and Juliet essay. I thought writing about other people's **** lives would take my mind off my own. I promise it gets better. It might help if you grieve with your family. I shut myself off from mine, never cried in front of them, never bought it up. Shutting off and pushing people away doesn't help. Take my word for it. See her as often as possible and tell her you love her every time you leave, even if it's just to go for a pee.

xx

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 02:52 AM

I hope so. I feel like im falling apart

taz35 26-08-2010 02:57 AM

*squishy hug for Hels*

*squishy hug for Lia* It takes a lot for some people to talk about their feelings. Once you're on a roll, don't stop :) I'll give you lots of duct tape for the heart, although it's been known to only do a half-assed job in the past... But fingers crossed you find somebody else who can love you as much as you love them :)

*squishy hug for Lex* My grandma died from lung cancer in July of '06, right before my 16th birthday. It sucked... and it's normal to feel scared, and sad, and worried... and anything else. When it gets to be too much just remind yourself of the great times you had, and treasure the time you spent with her. You're strong - you can fight through this <3

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 03:07 AM

You don't know the half of it Taz, how odd this is...Well I am on a role though. But there are things I can never talk about. Mainly because I don't even believe myself, so I don't know how I expect anyone else to.

It just hurts so much right now. All of it. I'm falling apart and I'm doing it all alone. My own fault I know, but sometimes, I just wish I wasn't. This mood will be gone by tomorrow and I will be back to saying I'm fine, pushing eveyone out and I don't know how much longer I can do it and I'm gonna shut up now beacause I know I will regrett saying all this when I wake up, but I'm hurting so much and I'm so scared.

Lex, do you ever talk to your family about this? Others who are feeling the pain of losing her too? We're always here, I'm just wondering. It helps talking to those who know exactly how you feel. I do, but obviously, for a differnet person.

x

shadowedsoul 26-08-2010 03:16 AM

Huggles all, sneaks back in borrows some blankets and dives under them before I get spotted. Hmm still feeling low, stuiped thoughts in my head.going to stay here don't feel safe.

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 03:22 AM

Hello Jill *hugs* Already been spotted, but dw, you don't have to talk to me if you don't want.

xx

shadowedsoul 26-08-2010 03:28 AM

Damn lol thought I got away with that =p Lol.it's not that lia, just can't explain how Iam. I'm rubbish at telling people how I feel. Sorry. How are you?

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 03:31 AM

Well I can defo sympathise with that one. I think I'm even worse. I tend to respond with 'I'm fine' althought I'm clearly not. I'm all cleaned out with venting how I feel tonight, but thanks anyway, and I said some stuff on the previous page. Hope you're coping, even if you're not exactly ok. Stay safe.
xx

shadowedsoul 26-08-2010 03:38 AM

Huggles,Yeah I know how that goes, I would probley say the same. I don't want to worry you or anyone by saying how I feel, so erm will stick with Iam fine, even if it's furthest from the truth right now. =(

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2462139)
Lex, do you ever talk to your family about this? Others who are feeling the pain of losing her too? We're always here, I'm just wondering. It helps talking to those who know exactly how you feel. I do, but obviously, for a differnet person.

x

sometimes. My mum tends to be like "this is happening and this is happening. She doesnt talk about the emotional side...even when I try...and when i do get upset i get told to get a grip

anarchistl0ve 26-08-2010 04:13 AM

I am not sure why I am so low

Kahlia1981 26-08-2010 05:37 AM

*huggles all*

Just finished at the doctors. They were really good about helping me to deal with my anxiety. Now I feel like I need to collapse.
So.over.it.all .....

Detour. Derail 26-08-2010 07:13 AM

Guys...I dont feel very good.
Im going for a walk...
I feel shitty

FlyingNy 26-08-2010 11:13 AM

Stay safe Lex *hugs* You have every right to be upset, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Glad to hear to appointment was succsessful Kahlia. The last part of your name is the same as my first name. :) I haven't only just noticed, I'm not that slow, I just thought I would point it out.

*Apies April* How are you this morning? *Hugs*

I for one am exhausted. 5 hours last night and the one before that. None whatsoever the night before that and broken sleep with nightmares about a week before that. Wow I have to catch up, but I doubt I will. Oh well. Who needs sleep. It's a waste of life.

x

Scarletdreamer 26-08-2010 12:07 PM

Urf... *cuddles all* I feel like a train ran over me...

Last night was full of "drama" between Jarrod & me. Well, as dramaleptic as we get, that is. Which isn't too terribly much. He was just telling me on the ride home from my NP appt how he felt/feels about some things, and they really hurt me... stuff like how he always feels like he starts dreaming again and then has to shoot down all of his dreams (because of me & my needs), and how he doesn't understand why I don't just "swallow my pride" and do more housework (it was about pride before but now I just can't get up the energy to do it, yesterday I really wanted to do the dishes, but I couldn't *cries*), and how he doesn't understand why I need support going to my NP appts and why I can't just drive myself. It just went on and on and then finally he went quiet and I didn't talk to him for the rest of the drive. And then later I burst into tears, cried until I had a tummyache, haven't cried that much in ages. :(

Anyway. So that was last night's drama and we mostly got it sorted. Which is good, because otherwise I wouldn't have slept well last night. :-/ And it turns out that most of my dress clothes are wrapped up in mothballs at my parents' house... so... I'm just going to have to make do with what I've got here for my job interview. >_< Hopefully I'll have time to wash my mothball-y dress clothes before/if I start at the job (if I get it >_< dunno why I keep thinking I'll get it). So, despite how chilly it is out, I think I'll be going with a brown skirt and a black top, with a maroon dressy-ish zip-up fleece for warmth, hah, unless it warms up later. (In case you were wondering, mothball = dead fleas, and apartment = flea infestation... so basically we were just trying to make sure that any fleas in my excess of clothing would dieeeee before we brought them out again. Blah. Stinky mothballs, I hate you. :P)

Anyway. Now I'm rambling. But my head is aching already - got up at 5:20am and have to be awake this afternoon, ahahaha, that ought to be interesting. Awake and coherent, which will be difficult due to sleepiness + ED "side effects." Stupidness.

Sorry. I totally rambled. :( And I did read all of the posts but they are wayyy too many to reply to, about 2 full pages since I last posted... sorry guys. :( *extra cuddles to make up for it?*

Doikers 26-08-2010 01:11 PM

There has been over 3 pages since I last posted and a lot going on so sorry for the lack of individuals :S I'm home after spending the night at my parents for my grans 80th , My busy bee day yesterday went okay but 1 appointment I took down the volunteer form and CRB form to the volunteer burero and was shaking SO badly from nerves and Lithium so I talked with my worker there and she made me tea -2 cups I was still shaking after 1 cup- and we went along and I was all pysched up to do it and the manager said I have to go along next Wednesday *Sigh* Nevermind
.

*Hugs the Ward*

RYUU 26-08-2010 01:43 PM

Hi am Reaper FTM Transsexual aged 33 from Scotland i have BPD PTSD and psychosis
At the moment am not so safe but i made some one a promise that i wouldn't cut today so am trying not to cut voices are telling me i must cut
that i have to be punished because i am dirty
i feel unclean no matter how much i have a shower am always dirty

one_step_closer 26-08-2010 01:48 PM

Hi Reaper, welcome to the ward. I hope you find this a safe place to be. Remember that you are in control, you don't have to cut. We are all here to support you.

Doikers 26-08-2010 01:51 PM

Hi Reaper , Welcome :) I'm Mark.

MammaMia 26-08-2010 01:59 PM

*cuddles everyone*

I.am.worn.out (Y)

RYUU 26-08-2010 02:04 PM

Hi Mark and one step closer

Thank you for the welcomes and the support

The One Who 26-08-2010 02:07 PM

Hi Reaper, and Becci and all the other new people that I can't remember. I can't quite keep up with the three+ pages worth, sorry!

MammaMia 26-08-2010 02:09 PM

Hehe, don't worry Claire, we move fast constantly these days. It's very rare we go quiet all at the same time.

Just don't hesitate to post for support, that goes to all the newbies in here ^_^


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