How are you, Hels? *cuddles*

Good luck at the pride party, Oliver. I hope that you do manage to go. *hugs*

Mark, how are things going?

*cuddles everyone*

*hugs everybody*

*crawls under her invisibility cloak*

Oliver, I hope you have fun at your support group pride party! *hugs*

*Hugs Mark, Hels, and April* How are all of you?

So... even though I did good on my Chaucer/Middle English quiz, I failed my History quiz. I'm so ashamed of myself. I keep trying to convince myself it'll be okay, it's only my first quiz, I just need to read a bit more, I don't even like ancient civilization or history in general unless it's Medieval, so I just have to get in the swing of caring, etc. But I hate myself for it. *sigh*

*cuddles Taz* What's up, sweetie?

And yeah, I feel like I have an invisibility cloak on too... Hels must've left some lying about the ward!! :-/

Aw Felicia *glomps because I spy you!!* you aren't horrible or awful or anything for failing a quiz... it'll take a bit of time to get the swing of things in uni, just like it always does. I'm sure you'll do fine in the class, you've just got to get used to it as you said. Although I do remember feeling shitty about bad grades on quizzes etc., so I'm definitely not downplaying your feelings!!

As for how I'm doing - see previous page. :)

*hugs Felicia* Congrats on the English quiz, and sorry to hear about the other one =/ But remember we've all failed tests at some point, and it's not the end of thr world <3 I understand though, and history sucks =/ At least to me...

*cuddles April* Just got back from my doctor, who I don't have to see anymore since I'm seeing a psych every 6 weeks. It should be a good thing, but it seems like everybody is happy now that my meds have been upped and I should be fine and I'm really just losing my mind. I want to overdose so bad, or SI beyond belief right now. I'm just trying to stay distracted :( Enough about me. How has your day been? [EDIT: I just went back and read. Sorry to hear therapy was so hard =( Sucks doing things you don't want to do... and I'm hoping your appt with the nutritionist goes well tomorrow!)

*cuddles Taz* I'm sorry that everyone's acting like you "should" be "okay" ... and that you feel even worse than you did before. Maybe text or call your psych? because those could be signs that the meds aren't working as well as you'd hoped. If you don't mind me asking (and if you do, it's okay) - what med(s) are you on??

Anyway, my day's been... long. Turns out my nutritionist appt isn't until Wednesday, although I could've sworn that it was tomorrow. Was telling everyone (IRL and on here) that it was tomorrow (which is Tuesday, correct? :-/ heh...). But no, apparently I was confused because I wrote it on the calendar whilst on the phone with the schedule-y person from the clinic and it's definitely on 1 September. ARGH.

And then therapy... need to write about that in my r/v I think. It's really... I don't know. A lot of things to swallow. :(

EDIT: oh, & please stay safe, hon. You've got us to talk with at least, and other threads on here can be distracting, I'm sure. *extra safe cuddles*

I'm on cipralex and seroquel right now... it's just getting frustrating because the whole delayed action thing... "wait 6 weeks and we'll notice a difference" but if there's no difference, then it feels like I'm just losing more and more time that I don't even want to live anymore... does that even make sense? =/ I don't know.

Hmmm, it's pretty easy to screw up days like that when you have appointments. I screw mine up sometimes and feel really dumb =/ But you just gotta realize you're human. After all, at least you didn't show up there and realize it's the next day :P I'll go read your r/v once you update it. <33

*spies Felicia and tackles her*

Iz ok. I'm dealing... I think. My gram had a heart attack Sat night/ Sun morn.

Sorry took so long to reply and no indiv...
Didn't realize I left the page up when I went to the court... 2.5 hrs of microfiche... joy of joys.

*hugs everyone* i feel empty and i hate it, i also feel a bit dissasociated but not quite :/ its a strange feeling, like im hanging in the middle.....

*Hugs April* <3

*Hugs Taz* I'm sorry you are struggling , please try not to OD or S.I. , or at least too badly .

*Hugs Felicia* Don't beat yourself up about the history test .

I have appointment 1 Volunteer buero , Appt 2 Accupuncture, Appt 3 Nurse tomorrow all crammed together 1pm,2pm and 3.30pm .

I posted this earlier and didn't get a reply and would like some thoughts on what to do , :S

Since my Lithium has been increased I've been having what the leaflet that comes with the pills descibes as "Difficulty in speaking or slurred speech" . For me I'd describe it as knowing in my brain what I want to say but not being able to make the words come out ,it's embarrasing when I just stop talking to someone and I end up apologising , it sais it could be a symtom of Lithium toxicity but I don't want to go back down to my previous dose as this one is help a bit with my depression .hmmm:S

*Hugs Crimson* Sorry to hear about your Gran , How is she?

I honestly have no clue what to do, Mark. On one hand, it helps better with your depression, on another, Lithium toxicity is pretty serious... Have you spoken to a professional about it? Cause that's what I'd probably do.

*hugs back* she's ok so far... supposed to have a heart cath done today. or maybe it was already done... she's 4 hrs ahead of me... i've avoided calling since we haven't talked in a long time and i have no idea what to say. might blame it on the time difference, not call and send a message through my cousin.

i agree with felicia, mark. i'd talk to your doc and see what they say.

Thanks Felicia and Crimson , I may bring it up with my nurse tomorrow , it's not directly to do with her but she is medically trained and I am already meeting her.

I agree with Felicia and Crimson, Mark (and sorry that we didn't reply sooner!!). I would definitely talk with a professional about it because it may not be a side effect of lithium, but then again it may. And it may or may not be serious. I don't know. :( Good luck with all of the appts, sounds kind of like a crazy day!! *hugs*

Aw Crimson, I'm sorry to hear about your gran, but glad that she's doing okay. Hopefully she'll be doing better in the next bit. I'd feel a little awkward as far as what to say too, if I were you, so don't feel alone in that. Are you sure you're doing okay though? you didn't sound too sure. And if I'm prying, just tell me to shove it, okay? :P *cuddles*

Taz *cuddles* what you said makes sense, yes. :) I just hope that either 1) they start working soon or 2) you get onto a med that helps more than they do. I know the whole "6 week" bit, ugh. :( It's awful waiting for sooo long and then everyone thinks you ought to be doing better sooner than that... I don't know, it's just... icky. :-/ Sorry if I'm not making much sense, am really quite tired right now.

Nicole *huggles* I'm sorry you feel dissociated... what makes you say that? I mean, how are you feeling and what triggered it, do you know? Sorry if I sound dense, am very curious about dissociation as I have experienced it quite frequently but don't know how most people experience it and also what other people's main triggers are. :) If you don't want to say that's okay too.

I'm so stressed out, overwhelmed, and I feel totally shitty from therapy. :'(

*cuddles all*

Sorry everyone's struggling so much, please try stay safe.

*Hugs Ward*

I'm off to bed now , night night my fellow wardies.
Sleep is where my brain stops racing.

*huggles april, helen and mark*
mark-goodnight, hope you sleep well
helen-you ok hun?
april-i dunno, im just having a bad night, and i find mainly when i get dissasociated, it just feels like im just watching everything in a film, including myself, i dont feel real, but tonight im sorta in the middle, like its not real, and im not real, but im still here if that makes sense? idk....just feeling weird.