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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

nicole94 21-01-2011 07:28 PM

*Hugs everyone*

Doikers 21-01-2011 07:31 PM

*Squishes Nicole*

nicole94 21-01-2011 07:46 PM

*Cuddles Mark*

PoisonedApple 21-01-2011 07:46 PM

*huggles Nicole*

nicole94 21-01-2011 07:50 PM

*Huggles Crimson* How are you?

Doikers 21-01-2011 07:56 PM

*Hugs Crimson* How are you?

SparkleKitten 21-01-2011 08:03 PM

*cuddles Crimson* thanks hun

*cuddles Mark* thanks for letting me know, its scary not knowing what to expect

*cuddles Nicole*

nicole94 21-01-2011 08:03 PM

My alarm clock is going off for some strange reason :/

nicole94 21-01-2011 08:04 PM

*Cuddles Sarah*

shadow13 21-01-2011 08:13 PM

I had this really weird/scary dream last night and it has extremely freaked me out, now you all know I haven't cut in.... 4 months now and one day now. And the dream was so vivid.... Here it is:

It was dark and the darkness was filled with screaming... Terror-filled, non-human screams of pain. Suddenly, there was a flash of white and my arm rose. I could see it. My left arm covered in blood, dripping down my forearm from my wrist and hand. My right hand was clutched in a tight fist, a shard of glass piercing the fingers. I lifted my left arm, twirling it round in something akin to fascination, fingers and hand twisting, fingers covered in blood. The lights flashed and dimmed and a three figures appeared.
It was my three saviour angels (as I have dubbed them)... Standing, looking at me with such sorrow it made my heart burn. I remember whispering something 'I'm sorry' before the light flashed again.
My eyes opened again, I was still in the dream, my face was wet - tears - I looked at my hand again, my arm was covered in a black sleeve. The skin was covered in healing wounds, a huge one was spread across the centre of my palm, cuts laced my fingers. I pulled my sleeve down, criss-crossed cuts covered my wrist below the veins...
I remember dropping to the floor after backing myself into a wall, sitting in the corner, I fell to the floor and curled up, holding my arm to myself. Screams came again, as they always do and the blackness followed. I woke up.

I'm so scared guys. If I can't sleep due to insomnia or I'm not having anxiety attacks, I'm dreaming of darkness and screaming - my screams. But this... This was the worse it's been in months. And lately all I can think of is counting the days and things triggering me to cut and the urges growing stronger. I haven't cried in weeks and I'm falling to sleep when I get home. I'm so tired. So very tired.

FlyingNy 21-01-2011 08:14 PM

*Hugs everyone*

It does matter Jill. If it's bothering you, it matters.

Good luck Sarah, I hope it goes well for you :/

SparkleKitten 21-01-2011 08:14 PM

*cuddles Nicole*

I just want it to stop now, just feel like other people feel. Be able to feel normal, but this is normal, for me. So ehh.

FlyingNy 21-01-2011 08:15 PM

*Hugs Shad* I'm sorry you're struggling so much my dear. Are you on any meds or anything for it all?

shadow13 21-01-2011 08:17 PM

nope, I'm on propranolol for my migrains but this is unknown to anyone but my angels and my wardies :)

nicole94 21-01-2011 08:19 PM

Why do people like me? What have I done to make them think i'm a good person? I don't get it...I'm not a good person...I'm really not.

Doikers 21-01-2011 08:21 PM

*Hugs Shad* That sounds terrifying , I'll post about my dream in my next post but off topic, Could you see a counsellor?

shadow13 21-01-2011 08:22 PM

byt that's not what we think of you. I think you're an awesome person. When I first joined RYL and found the ward, you were the first person who talked to me and offered to talk to me anytime. :')

shadow13 21-01-2011 08:23 PM

and I'm supposed to be getting one soon. I've got like an assesment or something on feb 3rd - I think it's to see if i really need one or not but it's for my stress and being a victim of bullying. Am i allowed to bring other things - like this - up?

Doikers 21-01-2011 08:24 PM

On dreams
I dreamt last night that my neighbour , ( Who has olny one arm ) Was way back in the day and injured himself all up his missing ( now) arm and then went to play Rugby and tackled someone and his cut just split all the way up his arm very very deep and ripped muscles and he had to have his arm amputated because of that and I woke and for 15-20 seconds beleived this as fact . Woke up triggered no surprise :S

Doikers 21-01-2011 08:26 PM

Shad Please bring this stuff up , they can only help when you are honest.
Were you talking about me? 3 posts up?

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