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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 02-01-2011 10:57 PM

hugs kitty, its okay, no sorry needed. hugs again

PsychoKitty2010 02-01-2011 11:05 PM

-hugs jill- I just wish there was somethin I could do or say that would help you feel better.

PsychoKitty2010 02-01-2011 11:06 PM

Laura! Solo!

-spots laura and solo and tackles and hugs them- how you be?

ˈsäləˌterē 02-01-2011 11:11 PM

Havin a rough day Kitty, but that your tacklin hug made me smile. Thanks! *tackles n hugs ya back*

ljmeep 02-01-2011 11:15 PM

I'm doing ok. Actually feeling pretty damn energized... so I've finished shaving soap to make laundry soap and now I'm off to scrub permenate marker off my kids' wall. Then I have more dishes to do... more laundry and so on... lol

*hugs all her wardies*

Well I'm off again... I'll pop in again soon :)

sorry you're struggling, Solo... I'll say a little prayer for you.

FlyingNy 02-01-2011 11:16 PM

*Hugs everyone* That's all I seem to be doing today. Sozzle.

ˈsäləˌterē 02-01-2011 11:22 PM

That's ok Lia. We appreciate your hugs!

Thanks Kelly! I could really use it! I'm glad you're energized.

PsychoKitty2010 02-01-2011 11:38 PM


I was in an ok mood. My niece went and ruined it for me. She called me dumb. Might sound pathetic but it's extremely disrespectful for someone to call anyone dumb, let alone your aunt. I just gave her a nice gift for xmas too. Wtf!

-smacks her head against the wall-

Now thanks to her I am not ok. I am so pissed off and upset and anxious now. I am far from ok thanks to her.

-scoots self into corner and glares off into the distance- I should just become non existent..

ˈsäləˌterē 02-01-2011 11:44 PM

No you shouldn't Kitty! Who would share protective teddys with me? Seriously sweetie, try not to let it get to ya too much. What she said isn't true! She probly just said it to get to ya. Don't give her that kind of power over you!

FlyingNy 02-01-2011 11:47 PM

I second that. She probably doesn't realise how much it hurt you.

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 12:01 AM

You're not dumb Kitty, you're amazing <3

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 12:02 AM

Amy could share protective teddys with you. If it weren't for her giving me some, I wouldn't have had any to share in the first place.

It's not just her. She just set me off. It's everyone. It's everything. You know how many friends I have made that ended up disappearing out of my life? Too many for me to sit and count. All of them I have ever made have left me. I have one friend and I don't even know how much of a friend she is anymore. I keep trying to get her to come see me (she lives about 30 minutes away from me) but she continuously comes up with excuses as to why she can't. Yet she is going on a trip in 3 days (to a town that is 2 and a half hours away from here) and I am on the way but she claims she cannot come. She doesn't even talk to me much. My mom is in denial. And sometimes she can be a total bitch. Like..

The following content has been hidden - Reason : may be ED triggering
Today she called me and at the end of our conversation she got after me about my weight. She said, "It's a new year. Time for you to start exercising and lose some weight. You need to." I have extreme back problems that makes it impossible for me to exercise. I mean it's so bad I can't even stand for that long. Yesterday when my husband and I took down the christmas tree I had to sit down like 4 times because it hurt so bad. I used to be anorexic. Maybe I should just go back to it so she will get off my back about me being so ****ing fat. That's the only way I can lose weight. It's not my ****ing fault I can't exercise it's not my fault I have a bad back.

My mom wants me to be successful. I know she means well in that, but it puts a ton of stress on me. She goes around bloating about the fact that her youngest daughter is in a good university and this and that. I don't even know if I will be able to complete school. I don't even know if I will be able to work due to my illnesses. I have to find that out I have to talk to my counselor again. But I have to wait for that. If I can't, I would have to apply for disability. The problem with that is, the united states is broke. They aren't hardly accepting anyone on disability anymore. And the process is so damn long it takes them months to get back to you and usually you are denied the first 2 times you apply. But by that point you have already been waiting 6+ months. I don't have anyone I could go and live with. I would NOT do well living with my parents because I cannot handle my mom for very long. My sister is an alcoholic. My biological grandma would take me in but she is still in contact with my biological mom quite often being that she is her daughter and I don't want anything to do with my biological mom at this point. I have nowhere to go and I don't even know if I can support myself. But I can't expect others to support me. I should just die so nobody would ever have to worry about supporting me! I'm such a ****ing failure it's a shame that I was even ever born!!!

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 12:54 AM

Oh Kitty I know the feeling. I'm in the same boat with the weight thing. My arthiritis makes it so painful to exercise and I get frightfully ill if I don't stay on a high fat diet because for some stupid reason my body needs more vitamin K than anyone else. But no, mum won't accept that, I can't eat things like salads as they really upset my internal organs. Sometimes I feel like doing the exact same as you were saying, but she'd win then, and she should never be allowed to win.

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:04 AM

Why oh why does she do this to me? She refuses to believe that mental health issues exist?!

MammaMia 03-01-2011 01:07 AM

Sadly some people can't bear things like mental health issues and deal with it by acting like they don't exist *cuddles Sarah* It's frustrating at times but sadly it still happens in this day & age.

*hugs wardies*

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:12 AM

She keeps telling me that I don't have anything wrong with me, I'm just making it all up for attention and a reason as to why I'm fat. I hate it here. I hate her.

Cazki 03-01-2011 01:14 AM

hey everyone :)

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Solo*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sarah*

SoMuchMore 03-01-2011 01:18 AM

*spies sarah, ian, helen, and kitty* hello all of you!

*hugs everyone*

Family still here, snuck off for a few seconds in my room though. And of course there is drama... can't get through a family get together without a fight.

Hope everyone is okay as can be.

PsychoKitty2010 03-01-2011 01:20 AM

Even if I eat healthy I still can't lose weight. I've tried it. Even if I eat something real small I can't lose weight. I don't get it. My biological aunt is pretty thin, as is my grandma. My biological mom is pretty hefty but it's because of her medications. I'm beginning to wonder if I am that way because of the medications (taking them while she was pregnant with me?) Hell I don't know. I was super skinny when I was a kid but then again I never ate. Ever. My mom had to force me to eat. Then I got older and started eating more and instantly gained weight. It's been constant over the years now I gain weight every year. By the time I am 50 I will probably weigh 500 pounds at this rate.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trig
Growing up with my mom has always been a constant battle. If she wasn't bitching at me about my grades, she was bitching about my weight and skin condition (I have a skin condition on my face mainly where it is like acne but my skin gets all bumpy and stuff and its always oily even after I wash it with soap and water). I decided when I was a teenager I would just not eat. I would go a whole day eating very little. Mom never noticed of course because like I said she is in denial has been for as long as I can remember. But then I was going to be a "counselor" at a church camp during the summer for younger girls (meaning I would bunk with them and basically be a glorified babysitter...this was back when I was a christian). I decided I could not continue those eating habits anymore I had to be a good role model. So I started eating normally again, but I really had to force myself and I made myself so sick because I was not used to eating regular amounts of food anymore. Long story short, I really ****ed myself up. Now if I go more than a few hours without eating anything I get so weak and about pass out.

But I can't do anything right. I have to walk on eggshells even around my husband...a normal person should not have to do that. There really is no place for me in this world..

SparkleKitten 03-01-2011 01:22 AM

I just wish she'd stop talking, I want her to stop. The more she talks the more I hear voices, the more the voices tell me how terrible she is, the more I realise she's bullied me all my life. I just want to disappear. She keeps watching all these "look at how these fat people lost weight" programmes on tv and keeps telling me I need to go on one. >:(

I just want her to shut up.

Kitty - you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, I wish we could all run away somewhere safe. >:(

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