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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 02:25 PM

Hels, yey for feeling better!! ^_^ *cuddles*

Mara, hon, I'm so sorry. :( Is there anyone that you can talk with, whom you trust?? or just keep posting on here when you're able, someone's usually about. I wish I could help you more... :( That would trigger me too, I think, trigger most anyone with potential suicidal thoughts. Wish I could whisk you out of there and somewhere safer. *cuddles gently*

Kaytee, I'm glad that you're going to start CBT etc. Meal plans really aren't that bad as long as you're willing to follow someone else's "rules" ... which is really difficult for me as I'm quite stubborn and I really like feeling hungry, because for years and years I didn't - and I am being truthful. I didn't feel hungry for a long time, because my hungry/full "sensors" were off completely. :( Stupid life. Stupid me. I really need to just grow up... but doesn't "growing up" mean being independent?? which means I can do my own thing... But I guess if it means that "your own thing" comes in conflict with "your health" then it's best not to be independent, at least in that area of your life? Thing is, that's like... the only area of my life where I (feel like I) have any control whatsoever. It feels like Jarrod (husband) has control of nearly everything. :( Not true I know but still. ARGH.

Sorry to "sabotage" my reply to you with my own ramblings & ****. Ugh. I did write in my LiveJournal but that just made me angrier. I'm supposed to have XXXkcal so I'm having something else than what my meal plan suggests as I only have one out of the 3 ingredients for it (it's a protein shake - and we don't have a blender, ahahaha). Need to go grocery shopping I guess. Ugh. :( I really don't want to. *whinge whinge whinge*

Anyway. Ummm... oh, my mum and I are going spinning today. :) That should be fun, although I don't really want to see another human being today, since I don't feel human, for what sense that makes. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense right now, I'm just trying to string my thoughts together and get them out and see if anyone has any feedback... sorry. :(

*hides in the warren and shreds up old newspapers* :crying:

risenfromperdition 02-09-2010 04:03 PM

*sits next to april* bet your mealplan isnt as much as you think it is, but i know its really really scary <3 message me if you wanna. *nod*

im tiiiired =[
and hoping can still add this class thats actually interesting and the professors tag-teaching it arent arguing amongst themselves [as its only one prof so... haha]

Doikers 02-09-2010 04:37 PM

*Hugs Mara* That does sound terribly triggering.

*Hugs April* You are making sense yes . You are in control of what you eat to a large extent , YOU buy and cook the meals yourself so you are very much in control .

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Kaytee*

My first 2 hours of volunteering is over . It was just sweeping and hoovering the floor for 10 minutes , surf the net for the rest of the time as only 2 peolppe came in wanting to learn the P.C.'s so I didn't really get any practice or learning done .Hmm . Everyone was nice , I still shook hmmm , Lithium plus nerves minus 10mg Diaz equals still shaking .

flutterby butterfly 02-09-2010 05:02 PM

Thanks guys
I'm with my partner now but scared to tell her how triggered I am :-(
Just gonna hang here for a bit

PoisonedApple 02-09-2010 05:41 PM

g'morning everyone.

Doikers 02-09-2010 05:49 PM

Morning Crimson , How are you ? *Hugs*

Hayley Texted me And says Hi to you all and has spent this afternoon on the phone to bt trying to get her internet working .She hopes to be online soon. Also she got the card today and and is really happy with it :) It's the first one she and Eoghan have gotten :)

SoMuchMore 02-09-2010 06:18 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Im glad that Hayley liked the card! :)

Sorry no time for individuals right now. Just wanted to say hi and wish everyone a good afternoon/evening.

Oh and say that tomorrow, i'm probably participating in breaking the world record for the most people doing the hokey pokey. Random I know.. sometimes i <3 my uni haha

nicole94 02-09-2010 06:19 PM

*hugs everyone.'
im such a screw up :(

Doikers 02-09-2010 06:25 PM

Go Laura ! Setting world records :) Good luck. *Hugs*

*Hugs Nicole* you're not a screw up , whats made you feel that?

nicole94 02-09-2010 06:34 PM

i am! first day of college and im self harming in the toilets :( i am an idiot.

taz35 02-09-2010 06:38 PM

*hugs everyone*

Back on the meds today, and remembering why I hate taking them... make me tired as hell. Oh well. Heading down to the amusement park tonight/tomorrow with my sister so I won't be around for a couple of days. Will be thinking of you all though <3

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 06:55 PM

Argh, ate my meal plan so far today and I hate it. I feel full to overflowing... feel so gross & nasty, and know that the scale is not going to be my friend tomorrow. I'm terrified. I don't want to gain weight. I've worked so ****ing hard to lose what I've lost... I'm at the lowest I've been in months. Don't want to lose it the progress I've made, really really don't.

:crying:

Sorry. ****ing fail right here.

Doikers 02-09-2010 06:57 PM

*Hugs Nicole* I'm sorry you cut :(

*Hugs April* It's good that you followed your meal plan .

nicole94 02-09-2010 07:06 PM

*hugs taz, april and mark*
taz-have fun at the amusment park
april-well done for sticking to your meal plan.
mark-how are you today

i just really have a bad feeling about college, it was my first day and i've already cut in the toilet, cried and walked out of class :(

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 07:14 PM

Nicole, hon, it's the first day. First days are always super stressful, just learning your way about etc. At least, that's how it is here. *hugs* Does college there have some sort of support you can get from counselors or something if you need?

I really think I'm an epic fail.

Updated r/v by the way...

Scarletdreamer 02-09-2010 07:18 PM

MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

:crying:

I hate my life. So much. This week has been more than I can/should be able to bear. It's so ****ing hard. I can't do it... can't... and have no one IRL to really talk to. I hate that. I hate so much about, well, so much. :'(

*hides where no one can find her after giving Laura a big hug*

nicole94 02-09-2010 07:25 PM

*finds helen and hugs her* there is counselling but i dont really want it, im hoping that the woman who interviewd me today will be my tutor because she was really nice and supportive, yeah, i suppose they are stresfful, but that doesn't make it ok that i cut, im supposed to be stronger than that now.

you are not an epic fail hun, i'm sorry your week has been so hard, is there anything you want to talk about?

taz35 02-09-2010 07:27 PM

*hugs April* I'm glad you followed your meal plan even though you didnt want to <3

*hugs Nicole* Sorry that you cut hun, but the first day is always the most stressful. You can expect a minor relapse... just start all over again, and you can make it longer this time :)

*hugs Mark*

Doikers 02-09-2010 07:32 PM

*Hugs Taz*

nicole94 02-09-2010 07:37 PM

*hugs taz* yeah i suppose...
i also had to put my sexuality on the form...that was scary, i didnt know if they were gonna judge me on it....


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