*rocks*

Sorry I have been absent for so long today... about 2 pages since I last wrote (I think - or at least, since I last got caught up), so there is no way I could (easily) do replies for everyone. Sorry. :( I feel like a bad wardie. :(

Oh & Nicole - as Crimson said, your scars don't have to ruin your life. You can stop cutting - it's hard but possible. I'm doing that right now. Quitting. For good. Because I can't have it in my life and really be happy at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. I can't have a real job if I'm still cutting, especially as I want to go into the psych field, and the stigma hurts my social life (as I'm finding out... :-X see r/v for more). So yeah. Quitting is possible. I have so far gone a week without any urges - or hardly any, at least - and it's easily been one of the most stressful weeks in my life (so far, at least). So... anyway, just wanted to offer that scrap of hope. :) *hugs*

*cuddles all the wardies*

I'm so exhausted, and I don't know why. I even took a nap... and I'm STILL tired... fail. :-X

I'm also still worried about Jarrod & the army... worried that we're "marrying the military" and that he will be so focused on his job that he won't miss me when he's at basic (which wouldn't be too bad a thing, I guess, since basic requires a lot of focus) and advanced and then when he's deployed. :-X I don't know. I don't know of anyone who's been in the military, no military spouses are on my friends list on FB - as far as I know, anyway!! - so that doesn't help matters, not being able to talk with a military spouse. :-S

Anyway.

Sorry for rambling on... I'm just scared. :(

SO ****ing pissed off, upset, disgusted & hurt.
ARRRRRRRRRRGH.

ok so lunch started good and ended in an epic fail... to avoid climbing the hill that kills my bad knee I went a different way and came across some stairs behind/ beside a building thats across the street from my work and didn't look like they went into the building and since I couldn;t see the top clearly I thought it connected to street level... Well 3 flights of stairs later I get to the top and it's 10 feet from the road. with a steeply inclined hill. since I couldn't be back to work late I climbed over the rail and held on to things (pipes, trees, etc) to aid me in climbing the hill (and hoping I wasn't going to fall and kill myself trying to get back to work). I got here on time but with a bit of a limp... To think I thought the other hill was bad... **Epic Fail**
But I love the smell of the beach after a good rain and swinging was awesome and best yet since it rained yesterday (all day) the park wasn't very full at all. Most of the time I had the swings all to myself.

*hugs everyone* sorry for my little outburst earlier, had a bad day and was very low, just did some ice diving and am feeling WAY better

*Hugs Nicole* Glad you're feeling better sweeite, and you wouldn't be better off dead.

*Hugs Helen* What's the matter honey?

xx

*hugs helen* whats wrong hun? (i know im really late in asking.. but here if you need)

*hugs april, nicole, and crimson*

Sorry about the lack of many individuals... just.. sorry.

*hugs lia and laura*
thanks, its nice to be feeling better, im glad i talked to sofi.

Updated my r/v... again... sorry. :-S

Also, I spy Lia!! *glomps* Hehe... and just 'cause I spy you doesn't mean you have to do replies of epic proportions, love. :) Just thought I'd point that out, 'cause I know how much effort replies like that take.

And now I spy a Laura, a Nicole, and a Crimson!! *glomps* :)

*glares at april* OI that hurt!
only joking. *hugs* you okay?

Lia, Laura, may I take this to PM on this occasion?? Laura - it's something we've discussed before so you shall know why I'm pm'ing it, if it's okay.

*cuddles you all so much*

*cuddles helen lots* remember im always here aswell if you wanna talk, hope you feel better soon.

Helen - of course you can PM me whenever hun. Hope your alright.

*is glomped by april* lol
*hugs lia and nicole*

Thanks darling, but you have so much on your plate. Well everyone does. Will send you the PM too if you're okay to cope with it?
Laura - Off to PM you =]

of course im okay with it sweetie, im feeling better now, dont worry, i like to try and help, it gives me a distraction

I might be a bit late, but yes, you can pm me if you want to. My mail box is always open. :)

Sometimes it would be so much easier to just be able to run away .... but then I remember that I would still be there

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish, but it's hit. It's finally sinking in and I just can't...oh no. No. *Begins to cry, softly.*

What's the matter Kahlia? It would be a very good thing for you to still be here, we would all miss you loads here on the ward. You deserve to be here (ward, life, Earth) as much as anyone. *Hugs*