That really sucks hun :(

i know :( anyways, enough about my silly college course, whats up sweetie?

I'm not important or worth worrying about honey :)

Yay, I got through an hour of my elective (philosophy) and my daily NaNo wordcount, and now I need to do my sociology. Oh the joys of life.

It is important if it's upsetting you Helen.

Woooo for getting a piece of work done & NaNo :D Will the sociology take long?

I guess so....

I should be happy right? But I'm really low, keep thinking about suicide. Fun =/ Worried sick about my best friend as she's pretty much really low & suicidal. I can't lose her. I just can't. I feel like I'm losing everyone. I already lost my other best friend and considering the reasons why, I'm glad..

I'm just really struggling at the moment. But don't worry, I'm not even worth it. :wow:

Also I found out I get my first visit at placement tomorrow. Only getting it because two of my college class tutors found out about last week's incident.

helen. you are amazingly important! and you are so worth worrying about. come on, you obviously wanted to talk cause you posted. *hugs*
and lia, well done, i'm jealous! what was your sociology about? i loved sociology at school :)

heh. typing at the same time. helen honey- please stay safe. Is there any way you could be with your friend? being together might help (as long as you support eachother instead of engaging in destructive behaviour together) and you're not losing everyone, because no matter what, we at least will always be here. *hugs*

I really wish I could be with her :'( Wish it more than anything. But we live 3 hours apart. We would never engage in destructive behaviour together. Neither of us would allow it. Plus I obviously have college, my placement & now my job.

*hugs Nicole*

*hugs helen*
thats a shame :( i'm kinda in the same situation with my friend aswell :( it's hard, but i suppose you've just gotta help eachother as much as you can. I'm glad to hear you wouldnt engage in destructive behaviour together, i've been there, and i've gotta say, thats probably the thing which i regret most of all this mess, the fact that i could've influenced other people with my behavior. i suppose i try and balance out by doing everything i can to save other people now.
You will both get through it, remeber that, at the end of the day, no matter how many times you go back to that place, remember that after the first time- it gets easier, cause you know how to get back.
*hugs*

*hugs Nicole* Just wish she would talk to me more, just now, about anything. I'm just a selfish cow anyway =/ Believe me when I say, I care more about her than anything in the world...

helen sweetie, read what you just typed. you are DEFINATLEY not a selfish cow, you just proved that by saying you care about her more than anything, and i'm sure i'm not the only one on this ward that you have helped so much, three times now you've saved me from suicide. you have no idea how much i love you for that. you are the most selfless person i know! if i had to pick a fault about you, the only one i can think of is that you dont think about yourself enough!

We do believe you Helen, and you are worth it. It's a hard situation and one I can sympathise with. Just let her know you are there for her whenever she needs you to be. Not talking isn't always a bad thing. Believe me, I'm a pro. But to me it's a sense of control. I'd die if everyone knew all this stuff about me. It helps me cope not to tell.

Good luck with your work Nicole, my soc won't take long, it's only an essay plan on family diversity.

I really really do care about her more than anything. But I am selfish. I need her more than anything right now :'( = SELFISH! I'm glad I've helped you to not do anything sweetheart. Even my mum knows I'm selfish lol. She's told me once or twice as has one of my sisters :D I think about me way too much. Ugh makes me think about how bad I am and wonder how the hell that sometimes I am convinced by myself/others that I'm good/amazing/pretty/whatever...

I'm not worth it. It is a hard situation & in a way I'm sad you can sympathise with it :( I have told her & continue to tell her I'm there. She's told me she knows that & isn't used to someone else caring (other than her partner). Which is quite sad really. I can see where you're coming from...

thanks lia :) i miss my sociology lessons :( aahh, familys, i attended school for that subject XD wasnt the best of them, but then again, wasn't the worst. for our coursework we all had to pick a bit of paper out of a hat which had a subject wich we had to do our coursework on, i managed to pick out self harm :/
And helen-family always say stuff like that, take it with a pinch of salt. you aren't selfish. beleive me.

*hides shaking in corner* sorry guys i am useless tonigt

Nicole - hmm.

Oliver - you're not useless. Want to talk about anything?

*hugs helen and oliver*
has anyone here got snow where they are? on the news it looked as if everywhere but oxford has snow! :(

What's up Oliver?

I would have actually quite liked that Nicole, in a morbid way. I love soc too, I'm on an A grade atm, AS level doesn't go up to A* so that's the highest you can get, which I am pleased about.

Helen, you're friend is sounding more and more like me. Having people who care about me is just plain weird and I tend to avoid them because it's alien to me. She's probably feeling like it's not going to last long,and no matter how much you tell her you'll be there, she can't quite believe it because it's something she's never had before. She might feel uncomfortable too because although having no one is lonely, it's all she's ever known. Sorry if I am totally and utterly wrong there. I think you're worth it, and you can't argue with my opinion so there :P

I don't have snow Nicole :(