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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 19-10-2008 02:59 AM

*hides in cupboard*

:(

Pomegranate 19-10-2008 03:42 AM

Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1161504)
Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

*cuddles you close and strokes your hair*
You just described everything I have been feeling lately.

MammaMia 19-10-2008 04:53 AM

*cuddles em close*

You're not invisable to me. Never will be. I promise you that.

Love you x

Dramatic 19-10-2008 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1161504)
Haven't been here for a while. In pain physically and emotionally. Not in pain, but ill and sore. I don't know what I feel. I don't normally feel like this. I just feel empty, like someone has locked me in an empty room and I am invisible but something is there lurking and brushing passed me. It's like I am nothing, hollow but at the same time there is something bubbling beneath.

I am not here. I'm empty. But at the same time it hurts, being hollow hurts. I don't want to do or be anything and I'm not. So much to do, so much time to waste on the way to the inevitable. Owww, pain. This sucks. I want to be near people, be held and loved but at the same time I want them all to leave them the **** alone. But they are always there wanting....something.

I don't know what I want from this post, hugs maybe. Don't think so. Nobody can offer advice because none of this, none of me or my life makes sense. Not in an overly emotional way, but seriously. People are either ****ing stupid and don't realise how empty life is or they aren't like me.

This is often how i describe my feelings/emotions in my online journal.
And everything you just said..is scarely how i feel 90% of the time.
Especially in regards to wanting to be surrounded by people, but at the same time wanting to be left alone.

I can't offer advice. I can say though..you really aren't alone in feeling this way. Infact, you've prescribed how i feel the majority of the time so perfectly..i'm somewhat taken aback as to what to say.

All i can do is offer hugs and support. If you ever feel like you need to talk, feel free to PM me. Or, come onto this thread and talk..as we're all here to support you.
*Massive hug*
Laura x

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 05:34 AM

make it stop... make the voices stop!!!!

MammaMia 19-10-2008 06:23 AM

*cuddles Amanda*

*makes voices stop hurting you and throws them to a place they cant escapt*

I.hate.this.

BoundNoMore 19-10-2008 06:32 AM

*curls up in Helen's arms like a scared little girl*

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 07:15 AM

*hugs everyone*

I don't feel like cutting for the first time in .... ages. I put a knife down voluntarily which is something that never happens. I was all ready to cut and then the diazepam that my friend gave me fully kicked in and I felt okay. Not manic, just sort of .... yes my life is not perfect, but at this moment in time I'm doing okay, the best that I can and I don't need to punish myself. I'm even smiling. f-r-e-a-k-y.

Love and hugs to all of you.

Auburn Shadow 19-10-2008 08:45 AM

*hugs everyone*

Relationships suck. But the stupid thing is, I actually love the guy, but right now, he's putting me through some ****. If he had his way, I'd never see or speak to anyone that isn't him. He's very paranoid, and he keeps talking about having different people inside him as if it's a normal occurence and everyone has them. He just... well, he's constantly punching things because I won't come and see him, or I say hi, or hug, someone else, even if they're female and one of my best friends, he'll still get pissy and go off and punch something, or just be a moody git until I give him a hug again or something.
Last night just put the lid on everything though, I don't even know what happened, but it had something to do with punching things and one of my closest mates giving me a hug, and then when I tried to talk about it with him he was constantly offering to get someone else to talk to me, and I was just.... well, I really can't do this anymore because it's not good for my state of mind having to deal with this pretty much every time we go out.

Gotta see him again in a bit, and I'm actually pretty much dreading it. The whole thing almost made me cut last night but I couldn't because I had a mate staying over who refused to go to sleep until he knew I wasn't going to do anything stupid (so he waited until I fell asleep)

*sigh* *curls up in a corner with a blanket*

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 08:58 AM

Hello kahlia1981

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 09:09 AM

*hugs Auburn Shadow* No words hun, but I'm thinking of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mouse in darkness (Post 1161626)
Hello kahlia1981

Hey Nic, how are things going ?? Sorry it took me so long to respond. *hugs you*

Well I'm coming back down again. I'm not as low as I was ... but now I want to cut again. Meh.

*hugs everyone then crawls back under the bed*

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 09:22 AM

Am crying again
crawling into the cuboard

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 09:28 AM

I am missing my two best friend even though they are only a phone call away

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 09:34 AM

*hugs Nicole*

We are only a phone call away sweetheart. And it's okay to miss us. And it's okay to cry. Maybe you could send some of your tears to Helen ... mine keep getting caught by customs, or maybe lost in the post, as they don't seem to arrive.

*drags you out of the cupboard for a cuddle and hands over a box of tissues*

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 09:38 AM

Thaks you made me giggle and cry at the same time it is wierd
"huggs"

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 09:40 AM

Helen can take the tears if it helps her feel better

mouse in darkness 19-10-2008 09:46 AM

I have to be honest at the moment I am feeling like a danger to myself. My head is going through the usual idea and its not cutting although Ireally want to do both

Kahlia1981 19-10-2008 09:47 AM

Nicole, between you, me and Kai the supermarket is going to make a fortune out of selling tissues.

Just remember that I'm always here for you sweetheart. Post absolutely anything that is on your mind on here. I may not always respond immediately, but I will be reading, and so will other people.

Love you always Nic.

I can't stop you Nicole. From doing either that is. I'd prefer it if you didn't though. I can offer you my support and ask you the usual. Please call one of us before doing anything "silly".

*cuddles you*

zowie 19-10-2008 11:10 AM

Had a really good night on Friday. Went to the pub with some mates to have a few before clubbing with some different mates.
Problem is, there was this really annoying guy who really fancied me who I invited back to mine for a couple of beers with another mate. (I didn't know he fancied me at this point) then my mate decided to go home and left me alone with him, at which point he starts majorly coming on to me and making me feel really uncomfortable.
I let him sleep on my sofa, and luckily he didn't do anything (like someone has done before - tried to have sex with me while I was sleeping). Made him a cup of tea in the morning, and then he wouldn't leave. I had to lie and say my bf was coming round just to scare him into leaving.
Ahhh it was lame. Good night ruined by annoying guy.
Feeling alright today. Might go down the pub this afternoon for a pint. Dad said he might go buy the ingredients for a roast, so I can spend most of the morning making a roast dinner for my family. I hope he does, I like family meals and cooking.
Okay I've chatted enough, how was everyone elses weekend? x


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