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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Synthetisk 23-10-2007 09:04 PM

I'm back. Went on holiday for two days, then spent the rest of the time at home lying in my bed crying. It doesn't help that my friend posted a pic of me on her LJ and some annonymous troll left a "fat" comment on it.

Aparently I'm too stressed at the moment and I've really got to do something about it because my hair's falling out and I'm making myself sick over it =/ Going back to therapy.

l.e.g.o 23-10-2007 09:52 PM

need to cut so deep need to see blood need to so much

im so useless i cant throw four weeks away but i need to

MammaMia 24-10-2007 02:48 AM

*HUGS*

Why am I letting her bitchy comments get to me? When they didn't earlier...=\

Synthetisk 24-10-2007 11:16 AM

*hugs DanceDance*
Whatever she said was quite obviously out of order :( It's really difficult, but try your best not to dwell on it...?

MammaMia 25-10-2007 01:12 AM

They were proper out of order. Blah!

It's my mum's birthday today :D Had an amazing day again yesterday :)

Jetforce 25-10-2007 10:51 AM

Drops by the psych ward and gives some muffins for every 1 to eat :-)

Hope u taking care of urself there guys!!!

MammaMia 25-10-2007 11:32 AM

I'm feeling really unwell still, so very tired & it's my mum's birthday *sigh*

bright.side.of.life 25-10-2007 11:53 AM

hey, i havnt been here for a while, but life blown up in my face....can i check in for a while pls?

hows everyoen doing in here?

XxxX

Auburn Shadow 25-10-2007 11:55 AM

Not doing so great today, I think I need to be in here for a while, if that's ok.

Hows everyone else?

bright.side.of.life 25-10-2007 12:13 PM

ive been better, ive been worse.....so not great really.

*walks over to pile of bean bags and curls up*

MammaMia 25-10-2007 01:30 PM

I'm not very well and keep gettng worse =[ It's my mum's birthday aswell- rudeness. So I'm not doing so great ha!

l.e.g.o 27-10-2007 10:39 PM

cant do this anymore-so what if its four and a half weeks what does it matter anymore

MammaMia 28-10-2007 04:01 AM

HA FAMOUS LAST WORDS FROM MY LAST POST, I LATER FELL OVER & ENDED UP FAINTING.

"I want to bleed. I can't believe it's 57 days until Christmas :| But that means 65 days until the year from helllllll is over :D Thank the ****ing lord it's almost over. I want blood, well to see it because I'm craving IT SO BAD! Worrying much?

I'm such A ****ING **** FRIEND WHO DOESNT TRY TO STOP A CERTAIN FRIEND FROM COMMITING SUIDICDE SO MUCH....IT'S LIKE I WANT HER DEAD. INFACT WHILE I'M GETTING ANGRY CAN I PLEASE ASK SOMEONE TO SHOVE SOME SENSE INTO MY ELDEST SISTER AND FOR HER TO START APOLGISING OR SOMETHING. I WANT TO SEE MY NEPHEW BUT I CAN'T. I EVEN REFUSE TO CALL THEIR FLAT TO SPEAK TO MY ONLY NEPHEW INCASE THAT FUGLY BITCH IS THERE. WHY ON EARTH DID SHE HAVE TO BE SUCH A ****ING LOSER. HOW CAN I HATE SOMEONE SO MUCH WHO'S MEANT TO BE THE ELDEST SISTER. I MISS MY NEPHEW BAD!! I MISS MY DADDY BUT LIKE BEING JUST ME & MY MUM BUT WANT MY DAD ASWELL SOMEHOW!! WHY WONT THAT BITCH STOP BEING NASTY TO ME, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE TO BE INSULTED SO MUCH BY A 17 YEAR OLD UGLY BITCH? AND WHY WONT MY BODY BLEEEEEEEEEEED?

Why do I have to be so ****ing ugly, well feel that way so much? It's funny how I want to be a model, open up a self harm support centre, work with teens who are disabled etc, sign for deaf people and work in ICT.

WHAT THE **** AM I SELF DESCRUCTING FOR? FIRST SELF HARM! SECOND OVERDOSING/SUIDICE. THIRD WILL BE ALCOHOL. I'm awful. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve all the lovely support I have. If some of them knew what I get upto. Some do. I don't deserve the love I have. I don't desereve parents. I don't deserve family. I don't deserve ANYONE. I DESERVE TO DIE :D

I feel like I'm happy. Yet I know I'm not good and I'm falling apart at the seams. I don't think I'm gonna survive in this world. Sometimes I wonder how I get through the days. I want kids someday. I can't have them. I'll break their hearts and destroy them before they're my current age :\
What a complete mess of thoughts and feelings. None of being attention seeking thankfully. I'm just so angry. I know I should get more help than I have but I'm comfortable with what I have and have mega trust issues and stuff. I would love to be more happy I reallllllly would. I know to do that I have to deal with things better and stuff I do try. There's things I do now that I didn't do before. So that's got to be something I suposse.

Better shut up."

emily.disenchanted 28-10-2007 10:36 AM

just feeling really very unsafe and unstable .......... I feel so alone and detached from everything, I want out

MammaMia 28-10-2007 08:40 PM

I'm feeling so unstable.
:(

emily.disenchanted 28-10-2007 09:27 PM

*hugs* dancedance

l.e.g.o 28-10-2007 10:24 PM

life hurts and noone cares-noone to tell noone to say to noone to stop me

whats the point of carrying on without harming it desnt matter

*cries*

MammaMia 28-10-2007 11:01 PM

*hugs emily and then everyone else*

Arrrrrrgh ****ing college tomorrow.

l.e.g.o 28-10-2007 11:43 PM

*hugs*
need to do damage to self

Synthetisk 29-10-2007 03:54 PM

Urgh.
I hate college and how one of the guys who is meant o be my friend sat and listed everything ugly about me. I basically heard FAT FAT FAT.


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