Those are awesome Julie! I'll take a flower one please :)

i can't do this anymore...

:crying:

*hugs julie* oo yay! cupcakes! Those look awesome.

*hugs crimson, jill and mark,

*hugs april* You can do this hun. I really believe that. Whats wrong?

jarrod and i had an argument. it seems like we never do anything together anymore even though we're in the same apartment day in and day out. (kind of, anyway, when i'm home from my internship.) he refused to play with me on wow as a distraction from cutting and so i went to our bedroom and wrote in my journal and then cut. i feel so stupid. i can't keep going, can't keep living - like this anyway - but i have no one to talk with irl, no one who really understands that is there for me all the time and who won't be triggered. :'(

i give up.

Did he say why he refused to play? was it because it was a distraction from cutting or?

I'm sorry hun. We are here for you though if you need to talk. I know its not the same as IRL people, but we can try. *hugs*

Yay cup cakes, thanks Julie

*hugs to all*

Don't give up April, I know what it's like to have no-one irl and how alone it can make you feel, and I know it's not the same but we are here for you.

Sorry guys I don't think I can do individual replies but I can offer hugs a plenty and to say please keep fighting.

My urges are getting worse and more frequent again and I can't be bothered to fight them. My boyfriend doesn't seem to understand that SI is a problem now and not just in the past. It's been three months, but I don't think he knows about that time. I also can't because I have my brother's wedding in the Emirates in about 2 weeks - 10 days with the family in 40-50 degree heat, it's hard enough keeping old scars hidden never mind new ones, but it makes me want to cut more.

bleh should really just go to bed

congratulations again Kahlia very very awesome

stay safe people, sleep well to all sleeping and hope those daytimers are doing okay

laura, it was because he didn't want to play on the toons on which i wanted to play, and i didn't want to play on the toons on which he wanted to play... so yeah. stupid all around.

i can't keep going. i can't. this is all so damn futile.

Hi Guys, I do not mind hugs :)

April, I am sorry that you are struggling, please please stay strong.

*big hugs to everyone* Sorry I'm really useless at being supportive for everyone right now. I updated my r/v thread. I thought it might stop me from going (more) insane for a bit. I'm gonna go see if I can get some stuff done. Try and get this 'life' thing to work a little better. Or at least so I'll have clean underpants.

*hugs april lots*
you CAN do this, you can. i know you can :)
<3

*leaves cuddles for everyone who wants*

mmm cupcakes *takes smiley face looking one*

Hi all

Those cupcakes look yummy Julie *Hug*

*I'm sorry you argueed and cut April*Hug*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Jessica*

*Hugs Shannon*

*Hugs Hannah*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs all round* :)

So , I met up with my friend who I haven't spoken to or seen since Christmas day today . He came to my flat and we talked but some was "filler" talk It was little over 1 hour 10 minutes between meeting him and him leaving. It was just hard to know what to say to him at times , just that void of talking ugh . He said in his letter he had tons to say but it didn't turn out that way hmmm deflated

Sorry that your visit was not what you expected.

*offers hug to mark*
sooo im not gonna be around til friday, but i'll try and check my fb messages on dads mobile if i can, sooo if you have me on fb feel free to message =]

beach for 3 days... shoot me nowww.
gonna look gross in a bathing suit surrounded by perfect people =[

going to pride tho so yay bout that... cept cant find anything that actually looks cute ><

*Accepts hugs from Heather*Try and have fun at the beach and pride :)

*hugs everyone* Sorry its not more.. Its pathetic, but it might be all I can handle right now.

I spy April! Hope you are feeling at least a little better hun.

i feel... lackluster. no energy at all. numbish. really want to cut... really, really want to cut. but can't. am still so ****ing triggered though... my arms - my own arms!! - trigger me... i just want to curl up someplace and die.

i'm sorry for sounding like a broken record... it's just how i feel right now. :'(

but the young adult worship service is at our church tonight, so hopefully that will help pick me up... :-/

oh, and i got really triggered by one of the girls i'm "mentoring" sending me an email that had numbers in it... she's down to a really low weight... and it's so triggering, but i don't feel like i can say that, because i'm supposed to be "over" this by now... :'(

*hides in a hole in the warren* :'(

So low, it's unreal.
Why does this have to come back to the surface?
I have more than enough to deal with right now.
*curls up tight*

hiya honey...sorry you're feeling so down... worship service sounds good though...i love stuff like that...hopefully it'll cheer you up. PM me if you need to talk. x x x x hugs

thanks red sky (do you have a preferred name over that one? e.g., you can call me april instead of scarlet/scarletdreamer/etc.). i really do hope that the worship service cheers me up some... it's more of a time to get connected with God than anything else, but i really know that i need that time. anyway. yeah. :-/ how are you??

hels, what's wrong, sweetie? *holds you gently*

off to update my r/v thread for the second time today... :( feel like such a pathetic wreck...