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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SparkleKitten 17-12-2010 11:04 PM

Thanks guys :) you're amazing. I drew a Reindeer when I was away, then came back to the forums being down :(

Glad its back now though

MammaMia 17-12-2010 11:25 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Work was busy busy busy, will be like that all week next week ha!

risenfromperdition 17-12-2010 11:51 PM

*hugs anyone who wants* ugh, did a blind weight after taking forever to convince self to, got outside and mum asked what weight was and that was importsnt to know, not so important that i woulda been even less able to focus during exam... And now i scared to get grades back and dunno if uni transfering to gonna accept me :/ meep. And head being argh but *sigh* least got meds but apparently it gots weight gain as a side effect.. Ick enough already :s *stops whining*

SoMuchMore 17-12-2010 11:52 PM

wow its been busy in here!

*huggles JK, mark, crimson, sarah, lindsay*

*spies kitty and heather and hugs*

I'm finally done with tests! *joins crimson in confetti throwing* even if i am sick, i am super happy that im done.

And thanks for the replies about my 2 month blip... I know it should just be viewed as a blip, but i just feel stupid about it...

SoMuchMore 17-12-2010 11:54 PM

*hugs heather* just because weight gain could be a side effect doesnt mean that it will be :-/ good luck with your exam results. r u done? if so, just remember that it is out of your hands at this point. Sorry you seem so stressed about things hun *extra hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 17-12-2010 11:54 PM

Hi errybody -hugs anyone who would like hugs-

I'm doing ok, at least for now. How are all of you? Have to do some chores so I will be slow replying, but I will be back soon. If you need me, feel free to PM.

risenfromperdition 17-12-2010 11:58 PM

Thanks laura <3 i have one more monday...

SparkleKitten 18-12-2010 12:29 AM

*cuddles everyone* my meds from last night are making me sickly. Downing mint like crazy, it usually settles me but bleh.

Glad you're feeling okay today Kitty

*special cuddles for Heather* I hope we can all help you worry less hun. Only one more is good. Won't be long until you're done now.

Hope you feel better soon Laura

Busy work sucks Helen, though I do suppose it stops you getting bored during a shift

SparkleKitten 18-12-2010 12:42 AM

*spies Oliver and waves*

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 12:50 AM

oh my geez.... JC is pregnant with triplets. she's a single mom of a 3 yr old who runs a daycare and paralegal service. how she's gonna manage with 3 more of her own babies is beyond me!

SparkleKitten 18-12-2010 12:52 AM

Oh my! Oh my indeed. I'd never cope with that

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 01:03 AM

i know! it's crazy.

SparkleKitten 18-12-2010 01:10 AM

Really scary. I myself am terrified of having children.

Edit: I'm off to bed now *cuddles wardies*

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 01:19 AM

i have 3 kids but they're different ages (which makes it easier) but it's still hard even with a husband i'd not be able to do it by myself....
*hugs Sarah* G'night *tucks Sarah in*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 01:36 AM

Quote:

hmmm where to start... I didn't think your gma was ad I just wanted that portion of your post in the proper order in my head lol sometimes stuff comes out differently than I want it to or makes less sense outside my head :) seems this time two subjects got stuck together... I'm glad you were honest with your gma and can talk to her *hugs*
as for the other portion, I was figuring that the girl causing you to dissociate my have her own motivations or emotions in regards to causing you to si or dissociate in general. wondered if maybe communication might help some. Does that make more sense?
-hugs back- I have realized something that scares me shitless. I am just like my biological mom, and other relatives, only worse. I was lucky (sarcasm) to be blessed with (sarcasm again) schizophrenia. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, but I have no realized that diagnosis is wrong. I wrote a poem the other day about it...about the girl. That's when it made sense to me. If you would like to read it, I posted it in the creative corner, but I will warn you, it is really triggering. So keep that in mind.
The girl has gone stronger, as I mentioned in the poem, recently. Now she is with me 24 hours a day. She just sits there with an evil smile on her face and whispers things in my ears and no matter if I'm watching movies or listening to music, her words seep into my brain. She tells me to do bad things...bad, bad things. I need to talk to my doctor about it, but I hate him. I want to go see my psychologist again, I like her better. But I can't go see her again unless I go in for learning disability testing, because that's her job through the uni, is to give LD testing. I don't know...don't know. The girl is driving me mad. She is pure evil. She has taken the form of me as a little girl. She knows I have chronic post traumatic stress disorder, and likes to use flashbacks and panic attacks against me, so I will do what she wants. She is not imaginary...she is real...-sighs-

-turns on the tv and dvd player and puts in the movie A Beautiful Mind and sits on the big comfy couch with her infinite pillows and fuzzy blankies, and her dolphin that she got from her brother before he passed away 15 years ago- Anyone is welcome to join me.

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 01:44 AM

*sits with Kitty and thinks*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 01:50 AM

-offers crimson some pillows and fuzzy blankies, and half smiles- how you be?

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 01:52 AM

i'm drained. you?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 02:00 AM

I'm okish. But I don't know. Not really at the same time. I'm in one of my, what I like to call, dangerously fragile moods. -offers popcorn-

What time is it there?

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 02:02 AM

4 pm
dangerously fragile... hmmm that's a good descriptor actually... i never know how to describe my moods that makes sense to other people but with yours i totally get it. *nods*

Cazki 18-12-2010 02:06 AM

Heya guys :) Im sorry you feel that way Mark, dont give up, your an awesome guy! I'v got some news i went to the hospital Wednesday for a review of when i was
The following content has been hidden - Reason : may be triggering
diagnosed with cancer. They are hoping that i should be all clear now. I was so pleased when i heard that as i was really upset when they diagnosed me with it but now im alot happier knowing that i should be all clear. They said the cure rate for me now is 98% - 99%

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 02:13 AM

I sorry Monsoon I dont remember your name...I just...I cant remember...I sorry...

Good results. Good. Let us know for sure. I hope its good. Ya. Good. Sorry. I'm having trouble expressing what I am meaning to say in words. I hope everything is good. -nods-

-starts rocking back and forth on the couch, shoveling popcorn in her mouth, staring off into space- Good...good..

PoisonedApple 18-12-2010 02:24 AM

*hugs Ian*That's great news Ian!

*cuddles Kitty*
I have to head home...

*huggles and care packages left on the table for everyone*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 02:31 AM

cant do this...cant watch...watch out erryone.. -gets up and throws things at the tv and unhooks the dvd player and throws it across the ward, then falls to the floor screaming and covering her ears with her eyes squeezed shut and rocks back and forth-

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 02:58 AM

I sorry so sorry I think I scare people away...

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 04:46 AM

*hugs kitty* you don't scare people away. lots of people from the UK are asleep, plus its friday night so some people might not be around. I'll be around for a little bit if you need to talk.

*hugs ian* i am so glad that the news is good!

*hugs crimson* you alright hun?

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 04:48 AM

*hugs laura :)* how is you <3

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 04:50 AM

hi heather! *hugs* i am extremely sick actually.. which sucks as i kind of wanted to celebrate the end of finals.. but i have a fever of 102... oh i almost forgot to say, good luck with your final on monday!! i hope it goes well. how r u tonight?

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 05:00 AM

I okish. And thanks. Sorry youre ill :( feel better

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 05:01 AM

I spies a felicia :)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:03 AM

I'm sorry...got really triggered by the movie A Beautiful Mind. I suggested my husband and I watch it together but I didn't think it was going to be that triggering. And by the time I realized it my husband was so into it that I couldn't turn it off and it triggered me even more.

-hugs laura and heather, if ok- sorry to hear that you are sick, laura, is there anything you can take? Non-asprin usually helps with my fevers when I get them.

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 05:08 AM

sorry you got triggered =[

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:14 AM

*hugs heather* glad that you are alright right now. I'm around if you need to talk.. on fb too.

*hugs kitty* i'm sorry the movie was triggering. Can you do anything for distraction, like watch a funny movie or something light? funny youtube videos? lol. or maybe just something relaxing?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:24 AM

It's not your fault...I get triggered fairly easily. I saw many symptoms of my biological mom in that movie even though I havent met her but from what I have heard about her and the way she reacted when I was a baby. And I know I have the illness as well and I want kids so bad but I don't know.

It frustrates me to no end. I can't control myself anymore. The girl has gotten stronger. But I can't go talk to my doctor until January 3rd because he is through the school as well and I can't afford to go to a doctor elsewhere I don't have health insurance. So I have to wait. I don't even know if I will be able to continue school or even work a job. I have mentioned it to my counselor but she won't give me an answer...she just says "Well I'm glad you didn't just give up right away". WTF. Why can't I get results? WHY?!? Its driving me insane!

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:28 AM

Laura: I wish stuff like that would help me. I don't know. I don't get it. When I get triggered, it's REALLY hard for me to distract myself. I can't focus on anything long enough to get distracted. I lose sense of time and everything. Then the girl gets stronger and pulls me into dissociation. I can't even hear what my husband is saying when it happens I get that bad. I need help, I know. But it's infuriating because I can't just go to the hospital. I hate the united states so much because their prices for health care are ridiculous. And Obama's "solution" by making health insurance mandatory for everyone won't do any good - he didn't force companies to lower the prices to make it affordable to everyone. The reason people don't have health insurance in the first place is because they can't afford it, HELLO!

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:37 AM

*huggles* im sorry you have to wait to talk to a doctor. You can get back into control. I really believe that, but it takes time and patience and a lot of work. Please keep talking to your counselor, if it is really affecting you, keep bringing it up, eventually she will have to address it. I know its a ways away, but please hang in there to talk to your doctor on Jan 3. Keep talking here too if it will help. I'm always around to listen :-)

risenfromperdition 18-12-2010 05:40 AM

Im here too :) for both of you :)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:46 AM

Ty. I just feel horrible because I feel I always bitch and complain but I can't help it. Then I don't know what to say to people to be helpful when others need help because I don't want to make myself into a hypocrite or anything. I don't know...I've been told that maybe I should apply for social security disability but I just don't know if I should, because I don't know if I can continue school while on disability and stuff. I hope I can last until the 3rd, I don't plan on dying but hell I don't plan on cutting, either, but still wake up in the mornings with new cuts. Least while I am dissociated I can still bandage them. But it kind of worries me because...what happens when I run out of bandages, and can't afford to go buy more? :S

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 05:46 AM

And, I am always here to listen. To you guys, and to anyone. If all I can do is listen, I will. So if you ever need to talk, I don't care how I am doing, you can talk to me. xx

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 05:58 AM

hmm.. yea i dont know about disability and school... you'd have to do some research i think. your not a hypocrite though. I mean we all struggle and know that some of our behaviors are bad, but talk against them anyway because we don't want others to hurt. I'm sorry that you SI while dissociated so much. I'd imagine that would be very frustrating. I'm sorry, i wish i had better advice right now :-/

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:08 AM

It's ok. Thanks for listening.

Question...how do you know when your cuts are healed enough to "safely" take a shower? Like removing the bandaid because its not waterproof but not have to re-bandage it after the shower? Cuz I don't have that many bandages left...

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 06:29 AM

No problem. *hugs*

hmm... im afraid i may not be the best to answer since i always just shower like usual and make sure it stays clean using antibiotic soap. I take bandages off pretty quickly because its good for them to air out a bit.

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:33 AM

Hmmm ok. I looked at the bandage and it seems to be ok like it hasn't bled through or anything but I don't know...what should I do if its still bleeding some after I take off the bandaid?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:34 AM

-hugs back- sorry I meant to put that in my last post but meh pushed post too soon lol

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 06:40 AM

well i mean if it is still bleeding i would keep a bandage on it... if it is still bleeding after a few hours, then maybe u should try to get it checked out. It could need stitches. Btw. this is just my experience... maybe u should post in the First Aid forum about some of these for the actual medical answers. I dont want to give any bad advice... in fact, it might even be against the rules.. i don't know.. i should probably check them heh.

oh and also: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=93

that is the wound care advice page. it may be helpful as well :-)

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:43 AM

Heh sorry. I can't go get them checked no insurance. And the last time I had cuts that wouldn't stop bleeding and went into the hospital all they did was put some cream on it and bandage it with gauze and some good tape and charged me $616. So yeah it sucks. Thanks for the advice, though. I will check the first aid forums to see if I can find answers. -hugs- How are you doing now?

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 06:49 AM

*hugs back* im getting kinda tired.. hoping that if i sleep i will feel a little better. will you be alright if i sign off and go to sleep?

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:52 AM

I don't know. I'm not really doing ok right now. But you are sick, you need rest. I'm not going to keep you here. -hugs again- Go get some rest. Hopefully tomorrow you will feel better (or later, depending on where you are located and the times). I hope you feel better soon. xx

SoMuchMore 18-12-2010 06:53 AM

ok hun. feel free to PM me if you need to vent and ill get back to you in the morning. *cuddles*

PsychoKitty2010 18-12-2010 06:55 AM

Ok, thanks. Sleep well, feel better.


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