*hugs you both*

Newlife, can you not get any help? =(

im meant to be going back to doctors next week

but im not going cos im not being insulted

im sorry

i shouldnt say anything

Why do you think they insult you? Or should it be how?

doctor said that as my parents dont know it suggests i dont love them

also basically looked down on me and says i shouldnt feel how i do and made me feel worse

I'm sure you do love them. I've got an appointment coming up to see if I have depression but I haven't told my parents. I rarely tell my parents anything because they never give the response I want, most of the time it's ignore them, or shouldn't you apolgise or whatever. It's ruddy stuipd, sometimes they even tell me off (usually not needed to). And stuff. I love them & all my family but can't talk to them. I just don't want them to know and I don't want them to know I feel like this or anything. I'll probs get meds and will have to hide them. Fun. It's like when I wasn't self harming this year, they've accused me when I was either not doing it or when it was my really bad exzema but my mum don't believe me. :( I hate them for not trusting me. So why should I trust them in telling them stuff whhen I know they'll give me the wrong reaction....

I dreampt about him again, I cant do this. I'm trying to get over him for the sake of our friendship which is going to hell in the hand basket any how. I want him and need him and 2 months without seeing him, without his hugs Im going more strange that I usually am. New phone yay, whats the first thing I did, I transfered all the photos of him from my old one across the ones I said I took off my phone but couldnt because I cant get through my day without him. I can sms him without swamping him and when he sms's me I never know how to reply. He is my best friend and its all falling apart *cries*

*checking in...again...drunk and bleeding*
Don't want to give up my knife...keeping it...am I still allowed in?
*finds corner and collapses*

I hate my life *cries and tries not to drink or bleed. Keeps Ally company in corner*

Do you guys have room for one more? ... I feel like this is a good place for me right now...

*grabs blanket and goes searching for a lonely corner*

Yep, there's plenty of room.

I'm still in my sound-proofed room. It feels lonely, but safer. I'm so scared. I don't feel safe, and everything and everyone is scaring me.
And I feel so alone.

*comes in and curls up to cry*

i want to harm

only way to feel better

too much in my head

xxx

sorry

xx

how is everyone

i hurt myself tonight and i dont feel so good about it
can i stay over here for a lil while please,if yous have room?

*stumbles in* i am so immature and insecure why do i have to feel like this arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h

*offers round a strong pot of tea and some biscuts*
Take care all
*grabs blanket and her stuffed lamb and rejoins Johanna in the corner*

hey ally do you want to talk to someone who wont remember the convo (basically do ya wanna vent) cos i am here

Hey steve,
Eh, I'm kind of in a blank state right now...nothing much to say.
Appreciate it though. Do you have anything you want to talk aboyt? How you doing?

*hugs everyone who needs hugs*

Hands over the blade and finds a teddy and radio

*checks back in*
not that i ever checked out.....
i would like the tranquilizing gun now please....it might finally put me to sleep..

We are having a really cozy corner here now. Lets be like sardienes, suporting sardines!

I wish I was drunk then I wouldnt have to remember how **** I am feeling, like daggers through my heart and its not even like I matter any more

he is drunk and stonned he messaged me to tell me so, why does it feel like Im dying, why cna he do this to me, he promised me no drugs, that bitch is bad news

(sorry for multiple posts tonight, I feel unworthy)

maybe if I needed stiches people would notice Im not ok

im sorry

i harmed

i want to die

*hugs everyone then retreats int corner*

*hugs emily and newlife and moves over*
Come on over if you're ok with squeezing in... We've got blankets, stuffed animals of all types, pillows, tea,and biscuts.

im sorry

i want to hurt so much more

xx

Newlife, hunni, what's up?

*wants to scream*

I'm so ****ing hyper but I know when I calm down I'll feel *****

*hugs everyone who wants/needs it and offeres cookies*
I'm thinking of you guys, but I'm pretty busy right now... Hope you all feel okay :-)

I want to hurt. I deserve to hurt. I want to hurt until it feels normal. Want to hurt until I can't feel anymore.
Damn. Sorry.

I have such bad pain in my tooth, hope its ot my nerve again =(

i need to harm deeper

im to blame for what could be the breakdown of my aprents marriage apparently

my boyfriend hates me i think

life hurts

sorry

how are you all?

I wish I could give you my BAD pain.

Then you'd hurt (sadly) and I wouldnt have to suffer

*hugs newlife*
Hunni, if he hates you he's totally not worth it...and there's no way you would be the reason for your parents broken marriage...no matter what anyone says.
*hugs again*

*hugs everyone*

*hugs everyone*

My teeth are still very sore =[ so not really feeling like being online much atm

*stumbles into the kitchen and returns with the biggest bottle of water known to man*
Alcohol.........bad......feel like sh*t

*curls up in corner with water, blanket, stuffed lamb...and bucket, ick*

*hugs ally and everyone else who needs/wants a hug*



im feeling used

the pretty moon makes everything seem better ( I like the blood moon) somehow makes reading Dracula more fun

*checks back in*
*curles up in a corner and just cries*

*hugs to all*

Sigh, why does nothing ever happen?!

whats nothing

life hurts

*hugs to everyone*
I'm sorry everyones feeling so crap. Please take care.
*curls up in corner again and cries*
Praise God I can cry here at least...

*hugs ally*


everything feels painful

*skulks in, sits down under table and starts rocking*

I've been rather ill =[

i tried to die

it didnt work

*curls up*

To much work to die...
I still have dreams left...

*hugs Johanna and Newlife*
I'm sorry guys...
Newlife,hunni, what do you mean you 'tried to die'? What's up hunni?

if its not one thing, its another. the last few days have been getting better, Ive been feeling ok about me, I even got a shoot for Sunday and now it seems that the world of my friends is falling down, Nat my bestie was taken to hospital in an ambulance night before last, Izzy had her heart broken by a stupid slut dating a really decent guy and ****ing prats keep pushing andrew to do drugs....... **** IT

I'm ill with two infections =[