*hugs* Maybe try calling them tomorrow to see about job interview?

I want to...but i get nervous...and sound like an idiot ><

Know how that feels hun. Maybe they'll phone tomorrow sometime? It could be that they've just not had time to phone today or something?

it was supposed to be saturday sunday or monday :/
i didnt go in today thinking they might call :/
My name was supposed to be first in the list >< :(

I can't wait either sweetie <333

Alex, I don't like making phone calls either. *snuggles*

Ally, I'm so sorry you're still having a tough time.

Emma, where are yooooooou?

I'm in tears. My best friend might be leaving for THREE months in two weeks on Thursday. She's letting me know tomorrow. I want her to go cus I know she could do with it. But I'm lost whenever she goes away on hols and I dont know how I get thru two weeks, let alone THREE MONTHS :crying:

hey.

im supposed to be rating my anxiety levels for my psychologist every night, last night i put 7, i should have put 10 but then she would make me go and see the psychiatrist next week instead of in a month and i cant deal with that right in the middle of exams. so yeah. that was pretty pointless thing to say. but meh.

ally i think im 20hrs ahead of you. or 19, depending on where exactly you live. either way, you live in my past :p

if someone was really sruggling is that when you might send a message direct to the supporters? and if so do they respond ? i dont know how it works but i dont want to keep waiting just incase - if i'm wrong.

When ever you need someone to talk to you can just email the supporters and they will get back to as soon as someone becomes avaliable to reply, well at least that's how i think it works.

I'm here if you want to talk hun *hugs*

i just wondered coz i sent it yesterday but didnt hear anything. you have too much going on yourself right now and i really can't add to it.
i now feel i shouldnt ask for help anyway - whtas the point - i feel past it - i've been begging all day but i dont say it right and it's not worth it. i cant do it and i cant be helped anymore

thanks emma - you really are special you know - i hope you start feeling a bit better soon - i wanteed to pm you to find out how you got on with police - but i'm just useless right now - i know i am - but i do care hun.
I cant chat about me - most of it is in my 2 threads anyway - but all together it's just getting too much -with the big things and the little things. the things i know are going to be ahppening very soon - the things i'm sacred stiff of happening soon and so mnay things - it's just too much.

Thanks hun, i'll Pm you once i feel a bit stronger so maybe tomorrow when i get up and i'll let ya know what was said etc etc, as right now i don't feel to good :(

I'll go read them later hun and i'll either reply or i'll Pm you about it all and just to see how you are *hugs* but please stay strong hun and take care of yourself xx

:crying: :crying: :crying: cries in corner and gives up :crying: :crying: :crying:

To stay something you have to be something and i'm not.

it doesn't matter - nothing matters

how can anyone give me what i need if i cant even begin to tell them - i still feel like i am shouting it but i cant be - coz if i was then it really would be that i'm not worth it AT ALL

stick around for more hurt and dissapointments or just GO ?
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????
????
easy

*cuddles katch*

The support team are just other RYLrs and they do the best they can. Sometimes it takes two or three days for them to get to an email. If you want you can pm me and I do my best to reply within 24 hours, personal policy!

Philip and I had an argument today about car maintainence. The SUV needs some but I hate the way the dealers seem to hold the car hostage.

btw, bandannas are just an easy thing for me to do with largish leftover pieces of fabric. I get extra fabric for my projects. Better leftovers than not enough. So let me know if you need a new one.

I have a beautiful view out the window. Not bad for a bargain motel!

I know it's ridiculously late, but is anyone around

heya, *hugs everyone that needs them*

I am around for a bit Kuwairo. Are you ok?

Hey,
rather drunk and rather triggered.
sorry

You don't need to apologise sweetie. Why did you decide to get drunk? Do you know what has triggered you?

i didn't.
drinking games...
the last drink I had had E in it.
I love E, but not wise when already drunk.
feel sick.
been cutting everyday recently.
dont even know why
part of me wants to stop, bigger part wants to cut everywhere i can...

Is your self harm usually this regular? Has anything triggered you to start selfharming this much?

I understand about part of you wanting to stop and part of you not but the fact part of you does is a GOOD sign. It's a step towards recovery even if it seems like it is causing more internal conflict at the moment.

i just deletedmy post...
i dunno what triggered me...i just have to sh every day. even though its so hard to hide at work
and i cant tonight cos someones sleeping in my room
bigger part wants to go deeper...not good enough..

I'm glad you can't tonight, even if you aren't. Unfortunately I understand the wanting to go deeper but once you reach a certain level then it starts to cause permanent damage and impacts more and more on your life, with hospital trips etc etc.

Maybe going to sleep would help distract you from the urges for a while?

i keep thinking about hitting the nerve...that feeling of loss of control.
im always craving control but i'd like to have to be in control, just once. already been hospital once - od.
can't sleep - high.
ergh pathetic. sorry.

You aren't pathetic hun, just in need of some help and you don't need to apologise.
Hitting the nerve would not give you control, it would take it away from you. You wouldn't be able to fully use that limb or anything like that. It would make you less independent.
Is there anything you could do to distract yourself?

there's awake people.
but i dont want to ruin their fun
and i feel sick
not meant to drink...
triggered, so triggered.
sorry being selfish.
are you ok?

*hugs Katch and Ku and anyone else that needs/wants(Chloe, Susan, Emma, Helen, Jeremy...)

I'm sorry you guys are having such a hard time *snuggles* I wish I could help...but I'm in a bit of a slump myself:pinch:

*retreats to her corner to do uni work*

Don't worry about me.
You aren't being selfish, you have a right to support when you need it, that's what RYL is here for.
I am sure your friends would not mind you going to speak to them, they are your friends after all and may be able to help more since they are actually with you. It may even help take your mind off how you are feeling.

*pokes Ally* How are you doing hun? Hows the work coming along? Make sure you get some sleep before your exam!! xxx

have to go...someone sleeping in my room. back friday...stay safe...
thank you

um, ok hun. Please try and stay safe. You will be alright, believe that xxx

*hugs Ku* *hugs Ally*

Ku, you are welcome to help from us. It is fine for you to ask for help, by doing that you are on the path to recovery.

I just dropped by to say that my better half has put up the second group of photos up today and the link is in my travel log thread. No barfing please there may be a photo of me in there. You gotta admit that my hair is beautiful, even totally wind blown!

haha modest susan :p
*runs off to find the pic of you and oggle at your hair*

*pokes Emma back* lol
I'm still behind on my work though I think I'll be able to catch up tomorrow.. As to how I am... I think I need some CBT lol, try and change this negative way of thinking. It's just I can't see my future any more, not even the immediate future, and what little I do see doesn't look like anything I want... *sigh* I'm probably just stupid and picky *shrug*

*retreats to her corner to stare vacantly at the ceiling until she falls asleep*

*leaves hugs for everyone*

I find out today if my best friend is leaving the damm country for 3 months *tries not to cry*

*sighs*

*cuddles helen*
I'm sorry to hear that....i hope u guys have a big good bye celebration party :-)

Susan your hair is lovely!

Ally, I have a really hard time picturing the future too - what makes you think you're being stupid and picky?

Helen, will you still be able to stay in touch with your friend while she's out of the country if she goes?

Katch, I've replied to your other threads but if you ever need some help and you're still not getting replies to your mails you can always PM me and I'll reply when I get online.

And Zowie, I can't believe what your boss said to you about your bandage after she told you that she SI's too!

Sorry, bit behind... no one is ever here when I am :S Don't mean to miss anyone out, my brain feels a bit like a seive this morning lol

*leaves hugs and feel-good-non-fattening-chocolate for anyone who wants/needs them*

*cuddles you back* I'm sure she'll have a party or something. I'm hoping to send her last night with her, go to the airport, and then go to college (I'm still seeing Jane every week). Then go to the pinic :thumbup: But we'll see what happens!

I sure will, just won't be the same obv. We'll see

:hop::hop::hop::hop::hop::hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop:
:hop:GUESS WHO HAS FINISHED THEIR EXAMS? COLLEGE IS OVER!!!!!:hop:
:hop::hop::hop::hop::hop::hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop: :hop:

Ah well that's something then :) Yay for your exams being over! Damn, I miss the days of summer holidays...

God i havent been in here for ages. I havent read anyones posts, but i just felt the urge to

PULL A MOON AT YOU ALL AND START A WATER FIGHT!!!!!

*squirts everyone*

:shocked: Oh my, I've never seen a penguin moon before!

*wonders what she has just been squirted with*

*turns on the garden hose...*

Yaaaay indeeed!

I'm shocked at you!!!! *finds a bucket of ice cold water and throws it at you* :-p

*Just DON'T get the tent wet* :tongue2:

*hose pipes the tent*

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

*sticks ice cubes in helens pants*

It is time to head westward, towards home. Sigh. Through the San Juan Mountains of southwest Colorado, some of the prettiest country I know. actually it isn't pretty, it is spectacular. So is the country between here and there.

I'm again looking at the view west along the canyon of the canyon of the Arkansas river.

Hooks up a hose to the flooding Arkansas river. That stuff is snow melt! Aims it at penguin.

*pokes head out of the tent and throws a water balloon at Matthew*

SOME of us are trying to deny everything right now and it's pretty hard when the tent is wet lol

*throws more water balloons and then attempts to continue on with her uni work*

>.<
I hate bedtime.
Hate sleeping.
Hate dreams.
I'm just...gonna start staying up all night again until I'm to worn out to dream.

I hate sleep at the moment =(
*snuggles Alex*

*super dries the tent, JUST for Ally to deny everything ;)*

*packs snow in blondies bra*
^^^now THATs wot i call snow cones!!!

*squirts water pistols up everyone in denials noses*

Oh my :|
We're under attack O.o

Snow Cones? Try a snow drift in the great plains!

Throws a snowball at penguin bum.

I just started a thread about fathers day. Please read and reply?

*gags on the water from Matthews water pistol, shoots him a dirty look and massive hugs Helen for drying the tent*

:Sticking Out Tongue:

Geez Matthew, sure it's safe to great a riot in a psych ward ;-)?

*throws marshmallows at Matthew in an attempt to defend the tent*

I was never very good at water fights lol