hi i'm about

Hi Oliver. hmm sorry I wrote stuff out, but I can't make myself post it. Sorry

send me a PM if you want
*offers hugs*

Hmm today being really tuff for me, can I just die and be with the one person that made everthing allright please? =(

*huggles Jill* No, you can't. Because then we wouldn't have you around anymore, and that would be a catastrophe! :)

*huggles Oliver* I hope you didn't cut <3 What got you so triggered?

*huggles Lia* I sometimes have conversations with whatever thoughts are in my mind. I don't know how to type it or speak of it so that it makes sense in the slightest... :/ But I'm 20 and still do it... whatever makes you happy :)

*huggles April* How did your day go?

*huggles Kahlia* I'm always in the fast mode, so my options are always to just run as fast as possible. I don't really stop to think.... so unfortunately no good advice coming from me :(

*huggles Felicia, Mark, Lindsay, Sarah, Laura... & all other wardies* I can't possibly name you all but I tried to get the ones who have posted most recently :/ Apologies if I left anyone out! Feel free to whack me...

Went over to my friend's to help him move into his new apartment. Makes me wish I was moving out, just because it seems like everyone around me is moving ahead with their lives so fast and I'm just stuck in one place, still struggling. And I feel like I'm getting nowhere and I'm tired of being a burden to everyone who's trying to help. If nothing changes, why even bother trying over and over? Sorry, I'll go ramble in my R/V instead of taking space in the ward. *huggles all*

I need to go to bed.
Instead I am watching a SI movie... and triggering myself.
Why???

Up, dressed, makeup on, hair straight, Ice Queen mask in place. Yep, I'm good to go. *Whispering* ...but I'm bloody terrified.

*Hugs all.* I think this is the earliest you've ever seen me up.

Huggles all. Erm I thought when I woke up this morning the thoughts of wanting to be with someone would go away. But it's still here stronger than ever. I'm really scared what I might do to myself.sorry

I really don't want to fight anymore .... is that too much to ask ?

Gys do you know if I can just walk inmto hospital, and speak to someone, heads messed up stuiped tjoughts

*Hugs Ward* Wow it sure was busy last night.

Felicia *Hugs* I hope that movie didn't trigger you too much.

Jill *Hugs* Are you under a community Mental health team as I'm sure you can just walk in and talk to them , maybe even if you are not under their care.

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Oliver*

*cuddles Kahlia* :( you can pm me anytime if you want xx

Hi Kaytee :) *Hugs* How are you ?

Hi Mark :) (for some reason I almost keep calling you Adam lol) *hugs back* Eh, not too good at the moment. How are you going?

Mark Heh , not Adam , I woke up more depressed than I want to be but less depressed than yesterday so I guess thats something , it still took a colossal effort to get out of bed after lying there semi awake for a couple of hours :S I'm currently caffineating to try and feel less depressed and more alert for my meetings today.
Why are you not too good? , I can listen although I am no good at advice right not but I will listen yep :)

Oh *hugs* i hope you feel less depressed soon. good job getting out of bed :) good luck with the meeting, sounds like fun *rolls eyes* lol
I dunno, just.. dealing with stuff with my benefits.. overwhelmed with uni.. it's just everything, one of those days where everything is getting to me lol.

:s I don't like those type of days , I hope you can get your benefits sorted (They always stress me out too) . Could you just try and take uni work a little bit at a time , maybe study for 25 minutes and rest for 5 minutes and repeat ? Sorry if thats a crap thought.

It's not a crap thought :) It's good.. am trying somethig like it.. i hope it gets sorted too :/ i just feel like curling up in a ball and crying.. or b/ping like crazy =[

*hugs everyone*

I cut myself quite badly yesterday and had to go to hospital for stitches. I got there at 10:05pm and didn't get home until 3am. I still feel triggered to SI or OD.

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry Lindsay , please try not to S.I. or OD , I know what it's like to be very triggered , it's not any good :( You can get through this without harming yourself . 5 hours in the hospital is enough to take it out of anyone :S