that happened to me when i was 19 and i can only now admit what it was, is there someone youcan talk to about this? i'm having counselling about an attack last year and the other stuff is coming up and its hard but i think it could really help.
Thinking of you sweetheart xxxxxx

I have a counsellor...but...she's signing me off....I want her to sign me off....i dont want to talk to her about it...:crying:

You have us hun, we'll help you through it

yeah you can talk to us, and if you ever want to talk i'm here aswell, i understand how hard it is hon.

i want it to go away

I could take him out, would that help?

You know we're all here for you Al, all of us *cuddles*

love you so much Jess....I'm sorry

I can't say it enough hun, you have nothing to be sorry for
He's the one who should have apologised, not you
It's not your fault :-(
Love you xxx

but i wanted to tell you...and i was scared....
i hate keeping things from you...

Im shaking :(

Now I feel bad for pushing you to talk :-(
*Hangs head and slopes off*

NOCOMEBACKDONTLEAVEME :crying:

I could never leave you
Despite the way I act sometimes :/

you dont act any way,....i dont understand...

When I'm short, or off with you
When I dodge questions
When I push you into talking about stuff you don't wanna :/

When you're short or off...I try find out why and make it better...
When you dodge a question...I try find another way around it because I want to help you...
And I'd rather you pushed...I didn't want to hide it.
No one knew....
No one....

I just feel crap because I can't help you *hugs* :-(
I can't make it better
I can't change anything :'(

Alexx, I think you are really brave hun *hugs*. If you think talking about it would help then we are of course all here for you, if not then we will be when you feel ready. It may be you aren't ready to deal with it just yet but please stay safe. I don't want to lose you :(

*hugs Jess, Jo, Hells, Jeremy, Ally and Chloe and anyone else has missed*

*curls up in the corner*
i dont want to feel dirty anymore...
it doesnt wash away

A couple of days ago I wrote a short rant and accidentally sent it to my mental health co-ordinator instead of deleting it. As a result she has emailed me apologising for delay but saying because she is seriously concerned for my welfare and has been speaking to people about it. She has contacted my CPN, student and residential support guy and the Community Mental Health Team. Why??? I didn't mention suicide and she is not really linked with the CPN or CMHT or whatever the last one she said was so why contact them? Isn't that breaking confidentiality???

She is a uni support person not part of the NHS. Anyway what the hell are the other people going to do? Hmm?? Exactly there is **** all they can do.

*Sighs and collapses into a beanbag*
Useless. :-(