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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 12-07-2010 10:16 PM

Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Curls up in corner. Screw it all there is no point!!!! People are pushing me to breaking point.

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 10:27 PM

*offers cuddles* do you wanna talk about it?

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 10:30 PM

One essay done, one layed out and one done-ish.
I still have to have someone look them over and to type up the one but all in all I don't feel like I'm drowning just like I'm not ready to hand in even the done ones. I think they're crap but I've been working on them for forever and the deadlines are fast approaching so I'm giving it a whirl.
And I even managed to eat a little bit as I worked.

Kahlia1981 12-07-2010 10:58 PM

*huggles/waves at everybody*

I just tried to spell everybody with like 10 b's. Hmmm way to much keyboard action.

There's been about 4 pages since I was last in here, so I'm sorry I'm not able to keep up with the individual replies. I have read everything. I just don't want to leave anyone out.

I have to email my psychiatrist today or tomorrow to tell him how the trial of the meds has gone . . . and I think the answer so far is !good. (Or no good for the non-programmers.) My anxiety definitely hasn't lessened and I think my depression has increased, which really isn't helping. I'm not sure what the next step from there is. But he'll email me before the day is out and let me know. *sigh*

Scarletdreamer 12-07-2010 11:14 PM

Crimson, well done on the essays!! :D I can look 'em over, if you'd like, since I was an English tutor "back in the day" (okay, okay, so spring semester back to spring 2007 or summat like that :P). But only if you'd like. I can PM you my email address if you would like me to.

And no, Jarrod's not entirely sure what he wants to do as far as careers go - yet. He has a few ideas though... And most of my questions did get answered - oh and yes, I did go to uni for psychology. :) Way to go to remember that!! lol. :D I feel special, hehe.

I'm really exhausted now. And my head hurts. I had some milk when we came back from our bikeride but I don't think that it was "enough." I don't know though. Suppertime is shortly, but I really don't want to eat anymore. What with what I had for breakfast, and then lunch, then the milk... guhhh. :-X And I know what we're having for supper, so that's not the issue...

*curls up in a corner & cries*

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 11:32 PM

Mayhaps I'll take ya up on reviewing them... but definitely from home since I brought my netbook in to type them but it has not net access here at work :) *runs to my email right quick to email the essay I had on the work comp to myself for futzing with later* I suck at essays lol but as long as I get done with all this crap by August (and don't have to pay another 75$ I don't have to get an extension again) then I don't have to deal with it till I go back to campus based uni.*i suck at life sometimes*

*cuddles you* Maybe with all the biking you need some water. *offers Tylenol and Crystal Light (Wild Strawberry Flavor)* :)

Scarletdreamer 12-07-2010 11:58 PM

Oh oh oh!!! I LOVE the wild strawberry flavor, not even joking... although right now I'm drinking the raspberry lemonade flavor (mixed with a bit of fruit punch, lol). Thanks, Crimson. :D *cuddles back* Yeh, I did sweat a bit more than I usually do, although I still am radiating heat (literally - I don't sweat enough as I'm dehydrated so I radiate instead, and that makes me feel ill if I don't drink enough, guhh), so water is a good idea. :) Although I do hate drinking it... but flavoring it definitely helps.

How are you doing??

And I spy a Lia!! *cuddles gently* How are you, hon?

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 12:09 AM

Quote:

Oh oh oh!!! I LOVE the wild strawberry flavor, not even joking... although right now I'm drinking the raspberry lemonade flavor (mixed with a bit of fruit punch, lol). Thanks, Crimson. :D *cuddles back* Yeh, I did sweat a bit more than I usually do, although I still am radiating heat (literally - I don't sweat enough as I'm dehydrated so I radiate instead, and that makes me feel ill if I don't drink enough, guhh), so water is a good idea. :) Although I do hate drinking it... but flavoring it definitely helps.
Me too :) I have to buy more soon because David started drinking it on me! But my other favorite is strawberry orange banana. I can rarely get down plain water. I drink lots of iced tea and crystal light during the day to keep from being too dehydrated.

MammaMia 13-07-2010 12:10 AM

*curls up*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 12:30 AM

*curls up next to Hels* What's up, sweetie?

*cuddles Crimson, Kahlia, Mark, & all of the other posters here, sorry I didn't name you*

Am feeling utter **** right now. Won't go into details... but it's just stupid.

:crying:

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 12:42 AM

whats wrong april? you can talk if you want. *hugs*

*cuddles helen* you okay?

*hugs crimson, lia, mark, and jill*

I spy oliver! *hugs*

I'mJustMe 13-07-2010 12:44 AM

Feeling really unappreciated, unloved, uncared for, un everything.

Sorry for lack of reply. I will do so later on.

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 12:49 AM

Hmmm... I missed a bit sooooo *group cuddles!* I'll check back in a bit later in case anyone wants to talk about it.

frenchhorn 13-07-2010 01:22 AM

Quote:

*cuddles Oliver* I'm sorry you had a flashback and that it got worse than usual because you couldn't cut with your gf there to snap you out of it. Maybe you could talk to her about that helping to snap you out of it. See if she could handle that or would be willing to leave the room if it happens again... She stayed with you and tried to help even when it got bad though, she sounds like a keeper. ;)

yeah definetly a keeper, well she know I use sh to get me out of it and said she would go outside if I needed her too, but I couldn't to that, so instead she took me for a walk outside, I really don't remember much of it.

*hugs April* I hope that Jarrod going into the army works out ok for both of you, yes it will be hard with him beibg away for long periods of time and having to move around the country so much, that will be tough for you to go to grad school and then finding work, have you talked to him about all of this.
a long bike ride sounds fun, hope your feeling less tired now and managed to eat some dinner.

*hugs laura* I'm glad your mum is doing better and hope she continues to do better. how are you doing?

*hugs Hels* whats up?

*hugs mark* night, hope you sleep well.

*hugs Crimson* well done on the essays, know the feeling with essays, I have to get a couple done by august 27th, thats with an extension already, dont want another one. good luck with getting the others done, hope they go ok.

*hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry the meds havn't worked and that your depression has got worse, I hope your psych can help out with that

*hugs Taz* I'm glad your safe, hope hockey goes well.

*hugs Shadowedsoul* whats up? (sorry I dont know your name)

*hugs Luke, Julie, Hayley, Lia, Jill, JK and all the other wardies, I'm really sorry if I have forgotten you*


been an ok day, I got majorly trangsty earlier, but calmed down as we went for a nice walk in a country park, then bus home we had a massive talk where my gf talked about her being trans and being more male then female and wanting to partially medically transition, but is still coming out to herself, but was scared I would think she was doing it just cos of me, which I know she isn;t. also the other people on the bus kept giving us weird looks while we were having this convo, bless think they were all rather confused.

wow just realised this reply has taken me 50 minutes to write, I get distracted easily!!

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 01:29 AM

Quote:

*hugs April* I hope that Jarrod going into the army works out ok for both of you, yes it will be hard with him beibg away for long periods of time and having to move around the country so much, that will be tough for you to go to grad school and then finding work, have you talked to him about all of this.
a long bike ride sounds fun, hope your feeling less tired now and managed to eat some dinner.
this reminds me... the moving won't necessarily be too bad on the school since he'd remain in one place for 2-3 yrs at a time excluding deployments and being stationed in korea (usually only 1 yr and he wouldn't be able to take family...)

Quote:

also the other people on the bus kept giving us weird looks while we were having this convo, bless think they were all rather confused.
LOL I can only imagine.

*cuddles everyone and runs*
I'd love to reply more but I have to run and catch my bus home... then make dinner and stir the starter for the sourdough bread :)

I'mJustMe 13-07-2010 01:58 AM

April...hi. What's up?

xx

I'mJustMe 13-07-2010 02:10 AM

It's lonely and empty. I'll just talk to myself. Feeling no better, I think I feel even more un-everything than ever. Wow, I sound like a child.

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 02:16 AM

lia - i'm around if you want to talk to someone.

I'mJustMe 13-07-2010 02:23 AM

Thanks *hugs* I'm sick of throwing offers and help back in people's faces, so you're getting an exclusive uptake on your offer.

It's just like...I don't know. I could fall off the face of this earth and no one would notice. My mum would when she realised was out of milk and needed someone to go to the shop for her, my brother and sister would when they needed someone to put down and call names. April would when she realised her arm didn't ache as much from having one less person to glomp :) Whether anyone would just notice because of the absence of me is another matter.

No one really appreciates how hard it is. Putting on a brave face, supporting others as much as I can. Never opening up myself (except for now). It is. It's damn hard but I'll do it because others need it and I care. But sometimes I just wish I could run, fast and far enough so I escaped myself and this life.

Anyway. How's life on that end of cyber space?

Thanks for the ear, it really was appreciated.

xx

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 02:34 AM

*hugs lia* I understand what you are saying about the whole feeling invisible or like you wouldn't be missed. I feel that way a lot of the time. But I'm sure that some people would notice. You are an amazing, sweet person. You are great at offering support and we appreciate it here.. a lot, or at least i know that i do.

Here anytime you need to vent hun.

I'm low, but okay i guess. I don't open up much either, especially lately, so sorry about the vagueness of my response about myself.


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