Thanks Helen

I'm stressing about uni going back. Partly because of my shoulder surgery. Oh well, I'll just focus on one thing at a time...

Haetseeinglurkers

Kahlia, what you stressing most about uni sweetheart? *cuddles* Try deal with one thing at a time like you said. xx

Dayna, you okay sweetie?

Ugh, still ****ing awake. Am in so much agony. :'(

Todlich ~ I understand what you mean

Helen ~ I'm actually calming down about uni now. I have to get the lecturers permission to digitally record their lectures and had to send emails out to them. It's just basically that uni goes back next week and my laptop hasn't arrived back from being serviced.

I have now reached 11 months SI free. *does a little dance*

*offers hugs to all on the ward*

Sorry I'm not supporting at the moment, I just can't manage it. Going to the doctors today because, well, I really don't feel safe, and I can't let my fiance down like this. I mean, he's ill right now, for hell's sake, and all I can think about is cutting.
It's taken so much for me to stay cut free the past few days, and I just can't do it anymore. Scared of what the doctors are going to say though.

I started to reply individually but I can't concentrate enough, sorry.

*welcomes those new ones* Hope you find this helpful.

*leaves hugs for all*

sorry for this guys, need to vent, being think about this all last night. hardley slept. why did you die, why, why i know your were ill. im miss you so much, wish i could find away to bring you back but i cant. i miss you so much, and im kind of lost without you. hmm need to make this stop it hurt so damn much.*sits in corner and crys and bangs head on wall, please make it stop. sorry

Welcome to new people :)

*hugs everyone who's having a hard time* My thoughts are with you my lovelies.

*Dances with Kahlia* Well done sweetie, you're doing so, so well!!

Sorry I'm not doing individual replies, to many posts confusing my little brain!

Love to all xxx

*hugs to all on the ward* can;t do individual replies i am too brain frazzled

*cheers Kahalia* Well done sweetie you are a star

Anyone that wants to feel free to pm me im nearly always about

*hugs Everyone*

Sorry no individual replie but there are too many posts for my poor brain to cope with.

I'm going to hide out in the smoking shelter for a bit.

Am really struggling so am gonna come hide in here for a while.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do
I don't know what to do full stop.. *cries*

*offers cuddles to all*

Kahlia, congratulations sweetie, I hope your laptop is returned soon and working okay :D Hope all the lecturers are okay with them being recorded too :]

thanks Helen. I've already had replies from two lecturers who are quite happy for me to record their lectures. Just waiting on another four. I also hope my laptop is returned soon and in working order.

*offers cuddles and hugs to all including those hiding in corners or in the smoking shelter or in the denial tent*

Oooh I'm so glad :) I remember when I had to ask lecturers if I could use my radio aid haha, but only half of them bothered to reply and in the end I didn't use it *whistles*

I had a really bad night's sleep, was awake until gone 7am this morning :( Hasn't been THAT bad in 3/4/5 weeks, absloutely gutted. Though in a way it reminded me of being at Jade's lol. Gwad I miss her so so so so much. This time two weeks ago, I should have been there but missed the last train, so that set me back 20 mins, but I would have been almost there, I think this was about when I started to cry lol!!!!!! :P We were just SOOOOO excited, like you couldn't believe....Anyway I'm rambling again LOL

Am still struggling and I cut last night, was almost at 3 weeks =[

*hugs MammaMia* I'm sorry your struggling

i've just made my nine months and slipped up, not majorly but i really enjoyed it *cries* what is wrong with me?

*hugs shadowed* Nothing is wrong with you, slip ups happen. I hope you are okay.

I don't feel anything today. I hate being numb.

*hugs Helen* ~ I hope my lecturers bother to reply.

Shadowed ~ there's nothing wrong with you sweetheart. Remember that slips are going to happen. I hope you are okay.

Fallinstar ~ I hate feeling numb as well. I hope it doesn't last.

-----
I am waiting for the nurses to come and give me my shower. I'm going to walk out to uni today and print off my first weeks lecture notes. That will give me my walk for the day. I hate waiting.

*hugs Kahalia* thank you :) I hope your nurses come soon

*hugs Fallinstar* I hope the numbness doesn't last

*hugs shadowedsoul* 9 months is so good hun, it's only a slip up, please keep thinking of it that way

*hugs Helen* I know you hate it, but keep fighting

*hugs Kahlia* good luck with the lecturers and the lap top, and so glad to hear about your housemate too

*hugs Katie* it's always hard knowing what to do, but once the decision is made, it's always the right one

*hugs secrets* do you want to talk about it?

*hugs Arwen* hope you had a good day

*hugs Jill gently* sorry I can't offer more

*hugs Hana* good luck at the doctors, let us know how you're doing

*hugs Todlich* how you doing hun?

am back in control but still struggling, lost it last night, couldn't pretend