And now my depressive moods are coming back.. I can feel it. Then right at the end I'll have a quick hyper (or hypo, what word is it? I never do know) state which will then lower and my mood will stabilise. What the hell is wrong with me? How the hell can I control it???

*hugs Snuffles* nightmares can feel so real sometimes, did you get to sleep later on?

*hugs Wildy Insane and offers a duvet* what are you scared of sweetie? Are you okay?

*hugs Kat* I know how tempting those stitches might look but hope you managed to resist them.

*cuddles Helen* hang in there honey

*hugs P.C., Kahlia, KDoll, JetForce, Ravyn and leaves hugs for anyone else coming in later*

Despite what I think was a decent sleep I woke up exhausted, at work now. I was doing really wel with my eating habits for a while there but this constant exhaustion has led me to eating junk just to stay awake :(

*hugs back* Thanks Mary Anne, no, no sleep yet. It's still only 6pm here.

*hugs Snuffles* hope you got to sleep (guessing it is nightime with you now)

It is Mary Anne :) Well it's about 10.55pm for her anyway :D

I am so cold. I am so tired but I slept so good last night. Well managed to sleep from 10.30-6.30 non stop and then got woken up at 7.25 to get the day started!!!! Only got another 5 hours and 35 minutes left in here or so.....

I'm cold too Helen!

Also, I didn't bother reading the instructions fully of a microwavable meal until I'd put it in the microwave. Turns out you can't do it from frozen, which is what I've done. Oops. Put it in for another five minutes to see if it defrosts :P

Oppsie Arwen!!

I'm having an emotional day from hell to be honest, I mainly blame the PMS (damm peroid is due) and the alcohol I had at lunch. I went to uni today feeling ok, then to anxious, then to tired, then to awake, then to excited, then to hyper, then to ok, then back to really low and bleh.

What a day this is turning out to be :(

*hugs Mamma Mia* hope the mood swings settle down, hope you are okay.

*hugs Zowie, Mary Anne and Snuffles*

*hugs Katricia* You know it's for the best hun

I gave in last night, knew it was going to happen sooner or later I'm not in control any more and I'm a control freak!!! Is anyone brewing a cuppa?

*hugs wildly insane* just try again hun, you've done it once.
*hugs Kat* sorry I have nothing to say.
*hugs Mamma Mia* are you on normal uni timetable? I hate mood swings in PMS, they seem 100x worse.

Todays been a wierd day for me, emotionally Ive been all over the place, however I've managed to revise over half my module and Ihave a gym induction in an hour so its been fairly produtive. Im just so stupidly stressed and was made to watch Clare Sweenys Big Fat Diet yday, not good...I wish I was thin. Its thrown my eating majorly.

*leaves hugs for others*

xxx

*hugs Secrets* I avoided watching that show for the same reason you wanted to. good luck with the continuing revision

*hugs Helen* how you feeling? Hope the afternoon went quickly for you

*hugs Kat* like wildy insane says getting your arm fixed is for the best, hope the stitches are not itchy

*hugs wildy insane and offers a cuppa* how are you feeling today?

*hugs Zowie* cooking ain't my strong point either, I put a frozen meal in the oven tonight and then fell alseep and missed the timer going off - it was incinerated!

*hugs Snuffles* hope you slept well

*leaves hugs for Kahlia, P.C. Ravyn, Jetforce, KDoll* hope you are all okay

As I said to Zowie I am exhausted today, have had to skp the gym all week cause I am so tired all the time. Only got enough energy each day to go to work, think pretending to be happy all day takes it out of me. Just wish I could take a day off from feeling like this.

*leaves hugs, tea and biscuits*

x

*Staggers in and collapses* Bleh.

Four days without SI, and I wanna give in.

*Hugs all*

Sorry I have nothing worthwhile to say

*shuffles in*

Erm hi. I'm Laura and I'm new to vets. Hope it's ok if I come in here?

'Course it is. Hello there Laura, I'm Däyna *hugs*

Hi Dayna. Thanks for the hugs *hugs back*

Well done for going 4 days without SI. Is there anything that's making you want to give in now?

Here...not completely...but here.

Well. Now I have a stomach ache.

Hey Ileana, I have a spare cup of tea if you want one

Hi Laura, come on in, make yourself at home, I think somebody left more tea and biscuits around :-D

*hugs Dayna* keep fighting hun

*Hugs Mary Anne* hope you sleep well tonight so you have the energy tomorrow.

*Hugs Secrets* Hope the gym session made you less stressed, well done with the revision, and good luck - sending positive vibes :-)

Am empty today, but it kinda feels good, but also not good, feeling very delicate, anyway I'm going to curl up under my duvet and fall asleep, if I snore just nudge me, but before I do I'll just make one last round of hugs.

*hugs*

*Hugs Kat and offers a big round of support*

*Hugs Zowie and offers hot water bottle to ease the stomach ache*

mmm, duvet comfy....

*sneaks in* *hugs and cuddles everyone*
G'Nite Wildly Insane, sleep well.
*hugs Katrica* - sorry to hear you've been struggling; sorry don't have words right now.

Zowie - hope your stomach ache passes soon.

How is everyone else doing? I haven't been around much; and I'm too drained to respond to everyone's posts... but i have read them and am thinking of you all.

Hope everyone is well.

*curls in corner under warm duvet*

Hey guys, thanks, I did sleep well. I went to bed about 10ish I think. And crashed out pretty quick. No more bad dreams too!

Glad to hear you had a good sleep and no more bad dreams!

*tiptoes in*
I've not been in here for months...
*hugs everyone*
*cries*

*gives Ku a big squish*

Hang in there matey!!!

*hugs Ku* what's up hun?

*leaves hugs for everyone else*

ugh... hate not being able to sleep. *sigh*

I hate her..
She's meant to be a cousin?
How could she say such HATEFUL things to me?
Oh yeah I forgot, this family does say nasty things to each other >_<

I'm drunk and I'm a mess. Basically. But it doesn't even matter that much.
I've neglected vets. That's crappy cos you're all amazing.
What's happened Katricia?
*hugs Helen*
And Auburn Shadow (yep, even forgotten names, sorry :[) insomnia sucks!

paranoia's crappy, I hate my paranoia. What's going on hun, do you want to talk about it?

*curls up in a ball*

I started to feel so much better today and more positive and stuff. But things have dragged me down, then other up, then other stuff all the wya back down.

Funny how life works *rolls eyes*

Apprantly I'm going to get section rofl. BULLSHIT.

Focus on how you felt better hun...don't let anything drag you down from feeling good...
Who told you you'd get sectioned?

Morning, I was out like a light and didn't wake again until my alarm went off, must have been shattered :-) although I may very well now be late for work, oh well *shrugs* just wants to send out some friendly hugs.

*hugs Ravynsoul* hope you're okay hun

*hugs Kuwairo* hope you're feeling better today, alcohol is evil

*hugs Katricia* friends can get it wrong sometimes, paranoia sucks.

*hugs Mamma Mia* unfortunately we can't choose our family, but we believe in you.

Hope everybody is feeling better today, even if it's just a ickle ickle bit.

*Gives everyone a big energy boosting morning hug*

Gotta dash :waving:

I certainly do. Thank you, I need one.
I'm not so well tonight. It's almost 5 am and I'm still up...just listening to music and wishing I was someone else. Pathetic right?

*hugs wildly insane*

*hugs ileana* Not pathetic, just struggling. It sucks, I know.

*hugs everyone else who needs/wants/will accept*

*sigh* was awake all night last night, and I'm still not tired. I hate this. I wish I could just have a normal sleeping pattern, or even just get to sleep at a normal time.
Jobseeker's are being slow at getting me set up as well, so I have no money to actually manage to find a job or do much of anything else really. Counselling on Tuesday, which should help a lot, but, why is it that since I actually decided I was giving up SH that everything seems a hell of a lot harder??

I know that feeling hun. You've lost a coping mechanism really, and the trick is finding a new safer one...and you will. Well done, by the way!
Thanks for last night guys <3

i am struggling so much to today

sends everyone hugs

*squishes Louise*
Here if you want to talk...

*sends hugs around*

Hi Kuwario - *hugs* how are you doing today?

Jem - how are you doing?

Hana - not sleeping sucks :S *offers cup of sleepytime tea* hope you are able to sleep soon.

Katrica - how are you doing today? I hope the paranoia goes away for you.

Helen - sorry to hear you've been having trouble with your family

WildlyInsane - *hugs back* glad to hear you had a good night sleep! Have a nice day at work.

Ileana - sorry to hear sleep's been eluding you too. I agree with Hana - you're not pathetic; just struggling. *offers a cup of sleepytime tea to you too*

Louise - *Hugs back* do you want to talk about ?

Dayna, Emma, Kahlia, Arwen, Katie, Mary Anne, Secrets, Pixie Dust, and any one else I forgot [sorry! brain's not working so great] how are you all doing? Hope things are going well. *sends hugs*

--
I'm doing okish; down again, was hoping my high from Monday would last, but it seems that is not to be the case. Went to my doctor on Wednesday, we're trying upping my meds and he brought up the subject of hospitilization :S I told him I didn't want to go that route; but now i'm left feeling more insecure in my ability to handle things...

sorry this is long.. take care everyone

Hey hun. I'm so so. It sounds like you're having a rough time of it *hugs* try and think of it as just going through your options, he wasn't saying that you HAVE to go to hospital, just that you could if you felt you had to.

Hi Kuwario - sorry to hear you're so-so; did you want to talk about?

Thanks for the encouragement.. I think you're right that he probably was talking about it as an option; i think maybe it just surprised me that he mentioned it.

No, I'm fine. But thank you :) My family are coming to see me in 5 so I'll have company.
That's fair enough really, I think I'd be surprised too! But he wasn't saying you can't cope, just that it's there for if you ever can't.

Kuwairo - Have fun with your family :)

I'm off to chores and work; I'll check in later.

*leaves hugs for everyone who wants them*

I'm well ravynsoul

urself? hope ur doing alritey there xx

*nips in and leaves cuddles for everyone*

will read more later, on lunchbreak just now.x.

I am trying to, but it's just really depressed me. She's family. She was there and then turns into a massive massive bitch and some of what she said I believe came from messages that people had apprantly sent her because they were worried about me. I don't know who the hell would, and she was taunting me over a situation that happened on Saturday that only ONE person could have told her and that was a family friend, who I think would have gone to my sister or even another of my cousins instead, rather than cousin T as she shall call her. So in the argument cousin T turns around (well on facebook chat) in taunting way saying stuff like "I'll get them to take you away then." and "Next time you overdose I'll just ring an ambulance" and stuff like mental hospitals and shizz. It's pathetic. Because One) I don't overdose anymore, Two) The reason she was using wasn't good enough and she got the wrong end of the stick about it and possibly the person who told her got the wrong end of the stick too (well unless she read something I wrote to another mate) :wow:

Thanks sweet :) Unfortnately we can't, I just don't get why she didn't at any point say look I don't want to listen to your moaning o r something and I would have just accepted it!!!

*cuddles*

Thanks hun, cuddles, I hope you're feeling better soon!!!

*hugs everyone*

Im really drained today, had a really bad night and still made myself go to the gym, all i want to do is sleep but so much to do.

Will pop back later maybe.

*Hugs Helen* Don't let her bring you down, she obviously doesn't know what she's talking about.

Secrets - Well done for going to the gym, and I'm sorry you feel so drained. Get some rest maybe, then you might feel a bit perkier.

I'm feeling a bit better today. Slept well last night and am going to my friend's house for beers and films tonight. Not the friend who is avoiding me, or any of the friends who have clearly ditched me. But some of my mum's old friends who I go to the pub with. Should be nice, looking forward to it :)

Hope everyone's doing okay.
Love love love
xxx

*hugs Arwen back* I'm trying to not let her get me down, I think she may be on facebook trying to pretend to be my nephew, but I've done a test which shall maybe prove me right or wrong, or it still might not >.< We shall see.

Glad you're feeling a bit better and have fun tonight :)
xx

Wow, all I can think of doing is giving everybody a hug. Maybe we should try a group hug?

and tell those people who are being nasty to go away *except I was thinking of being much ruder*

good luck with sleeping, job hunting, revising, working, coping and I hope Friday night goes well, tis a tricky one friday night. I'll think I'll have the kettle continually on the boil for anyone who wants a cup - I have proper tea, green tea, rooibos, jasmine, chamomile......

*hugs* Hannah

Ugh, I just woke up...I had plans today and yet I think I'll end up staying here.

*hugs everyone*

*sigh* Went out to youth club tonight. Was really tired while I was there and everything, and now I'm back at home, I'm as wide awake as ever. It's stupid though, youth club used to be the place I went to just have fun and relax and forget about everything with normal life and all that, but now, no-one seems to be able to get along anymore, and urgh, it just seems like everything I try and do to help just doesn't work anymore and is completely pointless. The place just stresses me out more now, and I almost have to go home to get the relaxation youth club once gave me. It's just not the same anymore. Like, I went today, and, despite being slightly tired and that, I was in a good mood. Get out and I'm stressed as hell, slightly triggered, and just... well a bit crap really.

Sorry, kinda long and ranty :/

Hi all. Sorry I haven't been around. Our landlord's son switched off the modem before going on holiday. We won't have proper connection back until at least Tuesday. I'm at my mother's house at the moment making a gallant attempt not to punch either her or my father - my dad is fixing my car ... now that he actually believes that the noise I am/was hearing exists and not just a hallucination it is apparently my fault. But meh. Sorry this is a bit rambly ... Anyway, my knee is back to hurting after not worrying me for several hours last night. Despite that, and also despite my seriously weird sleep schedule at the present time, I actually feel okay at the moment.

Hope everyone is okay, or that things get better for those who aren't.

*leaves hugs for all*