*hugs Banana* What's your first name? (if you don't want to say that's okay) I'm April - Scarletdreamer is a lot to type out!! :) So feel free to call me April. Oh, and knitting isn't simple... lol... I tried to learn it from a pattern and it worked out HORRIBLY... had to go to a yarn shop and get instruction and demonstrations from that. Maybe look on YouTube? I'm sure there are instructional vids there. And you're not stupid. :)

*cuddles Franz* Still dissociated, love? Must be kind of a nice place... I remember the times when I dissociated, really peaceful, kind of. I dunno. :-/ Sorry if any of that was offensive, I just hate feeling all that I do. :(

*huggles Laura* We can be broken records together as well. :P How you doing? And yeh, my family really is hard, just getting to understand this now that I've married, moved out, and been away from them for a year+. So yeah. I texted my therapist but she hasn't responded, don't want to bother my husband at work, and I just now texted my NP. Hopefully one or the other will respond. :(

*cuddles Grace* I so understand, sweetie... I really do.

I am so angry with myself... *cries* Life isn't fair, and I hate mine... wish I could trade it in for a better one!! or even a better me, if I liked myself I could put up with my family and all. :(

*Cuddles onto April* Not offensive. Not peaceful either for me... don't like feeling like this cuz feel vunerable.

Don't hate yourself. I love you. You're nice and lovely.

*hugs to everyone*

*Digs a hole in a dark corner and hides in there*

I wish I could support today guys but I can't. I'm sorry.

Snuggles Vicki
Dont worry about supporting hun...
Just take good care of yourself xx

I feel like a crappy mum. I was meant to have him back today and i didn't get him making up an excuse that i feel really ill. I miss him but i can't handle him, especially not right now. He went to a museum with his grandma and possibly his dad idk. I never do things like with him, i used to but now i just want to curl into a little ball and forget the world. can i hide in here please? I don't want to come out for a while

I'm so so triggered... i can't think about anything else

*cuddles Franz* Yeh, I understand the feeling vulnerable. How you doing now?

*huggles Vicki* What's up, love?

*holds Jocelyn* Wish I could say something that would make you feel better... I don't think you're a terrible mum though, just one that's really struggling.

My stomach hurts... :(

*Hugs April* thanks hon.

Just...relationship stuff mostly. Getting me down.

*hugs Vicki back* Feel free to talk about it here... or PM me... I'm married so I might have a little bit of advice or support or whatever, I don't know. I'm not saying I'm a relationship expert, heh, but I do have some experience with arguments and rough spots under my belt.

Lol thanks hon. I'm just in a really complicated relationship and I'm struggling what I can expect from what I want, and what he wants out of it all. =/

You're welcome. :) Figured I may as well offer. Never know where that might take you, lol. Hrm, maybe you could ask him what he expects? as openness in relationships is one of the keys to success. Sorry if that seems too simple, heh. :-/

*hugs*

*curls up and cries*

I probably should; but like I say, it's a complicated relationship and we've only recently gotten back together. I think I need to leave it for a couple of weeks and just see what happens. ... Well, I know what's going to happen...

*cuddles a_m* What's up, sweetie? anything we can do to help?

sorry April

*hugs everyone*

I'm not safe atm. I've slipped up more than normal and i can't stop, its not enough. sleeping forever sounds so beautiful right now

*hugs april* not really. i don't even know why i feel bad. i just wanna cry... amongst other things i wanna do but refuse to... but i'm at work right now so i can only cry here atm which just makes me feel frantic.

*hugs* ^ im sorry u feel so bad. could u maybe leave early?

*Cuddles everyone* Not a good night for us all really is it guys?

I'm not so good at replying to the thread, but if I can be of any help at all, send me a PM or an e-mail or add me on MSN or something and I'll certainly do my best :)

*is zonked*

It actually feels like an outer body experience right now. Like, I can almost see myself typing. What a weird sensation.

*huggles to everyone* I'm not being very good with the whole responding to people. I've read everything, but it's not sinking in properly. Hope this stops tomorrow...

i'm considering it joc... today my boss isn't here so i'd just need to fill out a leave slip and go... no explaining for once.

on the other hand i dunno where to go to if i do leave early. *puts head on desk*

i dunno if i'm dealing so well with a new year coming and stress building up... i don't think i have anything left for when i get too stressed and overwhelmed now that i'm 'healthier'. i don't cut, starve, drink (more than a glass every blue moon or so) or smoke. i haven't been feeling artsy in a long long time. i've read every book i own or could borrow (i can't stand to reread them till i've totally forgotten the words because if i know the paragraph it seems a waste to read the first sentence let alone the rest...)
i dunno what to do with myself anymore.