I hope you sleep well tonight Kahlia *hugs tight*

jgytrtgvbokhgtrs4rexclkngjdfs43sd7hb9yttrwwexlk kl;hgytrw4tghiok ihufderrxzcui,';pohgtdfs5fgoplmnkjhgsf4dvbolmnyrt! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO FULL OF HATE!!!
IM ACTUALLY REALLY ANGRY AND I DONT KNOW WHY :@
Im never gonna be a good person. I cant stop being angry.
I hate this

*hugs Helen*
*hugs Alexx*
*hugs everyone in the ward that she can find*

I slept fairly okay but my body didn't want to get itself out of bed this morning. I've been feeling nauseous since I took my morning meds. The body seems to have calmed down now but I feel like I'm playing the waiting game ... waiting for the nurses to come shower me. I've arranged it so I leave the house today and do some walking which should stop the edgy feeling but at the moment I'm edgy purely because of the waiting.

*leaves hugs for everyone and goes and hides in a corner*

*walks in with blankets, pillows, and cookies for everyone. Proceeds to hug everyone, and then goes into the denial tent*

I am so ****ing pissed off.
But for now I must take this evils leepin med and sleep >,>

I'm really sorry I've been rubbish and not around recently. Am off for a week again, probably a very stressful week.

Leaves cuddles.

xxx

*Cuddles the lovely people in the psych ward*
I'm so sorry people are struggling at the moment, I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom or comfort. I'm useless. But I am thinking of you all, and I love you to bits xxx

I ****ing hate professionals even more now. Went to A&E last night, because a cut kept re-opening somehow and obviously bleeding. Despite everything I did. Plus suicide thoughts were increadibly bad. So anyway. Cut was considered 'ok' but she sterri stripped it and stuff. I actually even asked to see a psychartrist (or whoever). Then was waiting til 4.30am (was then falling asleep...) who I managed to say a lot too. He knew I was a danger to myself if I was allowed home. So he said he'd ask for my gp to (hopefully) see me Monday and I would have Home Treatement Team. Oh and two tablets for me to sleep this morning (and I did) and for tonight (can't wait). Visits are for today and tomorrow (I think). Til my mum's home (despite my sister being here). But could speak to them anytime. He went away (to make phone calls and get my meds) came back and wittered on and on about something to do with my gp, cpn (only seen her once and she was awful ugggh) and local mental team. So not 100% what's going on there.

He then came back with my meds and told me I could go home. But I was asked to stay a litle longer (they didn't want me to walk home in the dark) and after everyone went I kicked off but nobody knows, except Jade who was down the phone to me. >.< Then like at 6.40ish, they kicked me out with no infortmation about how to look after my wound, when take plaster off etc...whatsoever.

Then spoke to my sister juust (she found an empty this morning and was angry I didnt get in contact or left a note- was planning to text when phone died)...and it was the usual shouting, tears, you're not trying to help yourself hard enough etc etc etc. SO ****ING TIRED OF BEING TOLD THAT!!!!!!!!!!! IF i wasn't tryying hard enoyug, I WOULDNT HAVE GONE A&E. I WOULDN'T HAVE BEGGED FOR HELP. I WOULD HAVE JUST SIMPLY OVERDOSED AND OTHER DAMAGE.

Should have stormed out at 5.30am like I was considering and just killed myself. Would have been best for all round.

sorry can't do indidual replies right now but you know helen i'm thinking of you...


I'm not ready for this holiday and it looks like all my plans have ****ed up for my future... well done laura well done...

Forgot to say sorry for not really doing indvidual replies either. *hugs to everyone*

Laura, thank you sweetie xxx

tries to forget this whole holiday and stuff... hard though when you **** off a 6am

*squishes tight* It'll be over in a week sweeite and we can etxt loads?x xx

yeah we will text helen and i'll have mobile msn to annoy you with...

*runs away already* :P

*hugs everyone*

I managed to study today but I just wish my Demons would leave me alone....

Can't stop crying :/

*hugs Helen*

My dog is dying... I am lost.

*hugs everyone*

I just... wish I could go back in time. To make them go away.

*sits in the corner and cries*

*hugs everyone*

Sorry no individual replies - things move fast in here

I think I need to just sit in a corner until I disappear from sight ....