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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 12:29 AM

Hun, its in my nature to worry. I always worry about others more than myself. -shrugs-

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 12:31 AM

Its when I am alone and dont have anyone to talk to when **** really gets ugly.. -shrugs again-

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 12:35 AM

*cuddles Helen* I keep eating and eating even though I know I need to lose some weight

*snuggles Kitty* I hope you're okay, sounds a lot like whats happening with me. My fiance was just telling me that if I can't work I'll have stuff to do at home and I know I can't because some days I'm so useless... *sigh*

MammaMia 16-12-2010 12:43 AM

I'm sure you don't need to lose weight Sarah. Try eat healthily at least?? *hugs*

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 12:48 AM

I'm trying but its such a pain at this season. My nurse never mentions it but I'm not 100% comfortable sitting in the top of the overweight band on the BMI chart *cuddles*

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 12:48 AM

I know how you feel. Except, my husband doesn't even say that. He says "You can work, you'll be fine. Everything will be fine." He doesn't understand. He won't try to get a job. He would rather have me work when I don't even think I can than go out and get a ****ing job himself. He is only getting $339 a month through the state while he "tries to apply for social security" even though he is a lot more capable to work than I am, and that's not even enough to cover our rent completely. And it's getting reduced this next month due to cutbacks, so more money from my financial aid will have to go to pay rent along with our other bills, which means by the end of the semester, we probably won't even be able to afford a roof over our heads, just because he won't go get a job. Not even a part time job. I know he could handle it - hell everyone knows he could handle it. He's just being lazy. And when I was in school full time he would bitch about me not doing a lot around the house to help keep it clean and stuff. But all he does, day in and day out, is play on his damn computer. Because "it's his routine".

I want to leave, now. But I can't. I am already signed up for classes for next semester, and if I don't have classes, I won't get financial aid, and won't have money to live on. I can't handle moving back in with my parents. I love them and all but with my mom being in denial, it makes it so hard to bear even being around her.

I am getting closer and closer to wanting to just follow through with my plans. I'm sick of all of this ****. People tell me "oh it will get better". But, when? My life turned shitty when I was 7 years old. That was 15 years ago. Nothing has gotten better, nor does it show any signs of getting better...

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 12:56 AM

Oh Kitty :( Poor dear. I'm not sure my fiance will let me out of working if I can't cope. He's already nagging I'm not doing well enough in Uni and he needs me there for his parking permit next year and I'm not likely to pass so he keeps telling me I need to put more effort in and push on and do the work and he managed when he had depression. Yeah, his was fixed by a month course of meds to help him sleep. I'm on my 7th month of medication and I'm way worse. Where the hell is my motivation supposed to come from?! >:(

MammaMia 16-12-2010 01:00 AM

*curls up* Sorry :/

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 01:02 AM

*cuddles* whats wrong Helen?

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 01:07 AM

Yeah...my husband claims to have depression as well. I don't see it. Sure, he has situational depression, but that's really nothing compared to my issues. I mean...I was diagnosed with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Schizoaffective Disorder. I am constantly fighting off flashbacks and panic attacks. I dissociate. Hell sometimes I can't tell the difference between reality and non-reality. Sometimes things happen and when its said and done I'm like...did that really just happen, or was it just me? I can't tell the difference. And asking other people doesn't help because I still feel like it was not real. Sometimes things that aren't real feel so real. I'm sorry...I will just shut up.

-curls up in her corner with her pillows and fuzzy blankies, and eyes the stuff thats next to her, just staring at it blankly-

MammaMia 16-12-2010 01:09 AM

Not doing too great Sarah. But it's fine.

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 01:12 AM

*snuggles Helen and Kitty* I don't have much more than that right now :(

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 01:24 AM

-snuggles with helen and sarah in her corner- we can be the 3 loons in the magical corner!

MammaMia 16-12-2010 01:29 AM

*hugs you both* Sounds good to me Kitty x

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 01:37 AM

-hugs helen back- I've rambled and ranted enough for now. Don't really have anything else to say...if I say more, I will just be repeating it...I repeat it over and over in my head. But you guys can ramble and rant and I can listen, and try to offer advice. I'm not promising anything, but at least I can listen...

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 01:40 AM

*cuddles everyone* sorry i wasn't in earlier, work had mandatory training... 3 hours of my day where i could do no work and got farther behind than i started. *sigh*

SparkleKitten 16-12-2010 01:41 AM

Sounds perfect. Rebecca has gone from being more my voice to being a gentle whisper. Last night I swore I felt breath in my ear when hearing the whispering. I think I'm losing it.

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 01:56 AM

-hugs crimson- I'm sorry. That sounds really frustrating. :( I hope you can get caught up soon.

-hugs sarah- I somewhat know how you feel...I hear my brothers talk to me everywhere I go. They are gone, but I hear them. I see them in peoples faces. I have completely lost it... but I understand how you feel :(

misskitty112 16-12-2010 02:19 AM

*hugs Helen, Kitty, and Sarah*

Sorry, I don't have much tonight...

*curls up in the corner*

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 02:19 AM

-spots felicia and waves to her- hi felicia how are you doing?

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