*sits with april*<3

*curls up in corner*

Wow, can't believe the lack of activity. I've been awake since 5am herding sheep through the high street. Don't ask. I volunteered before I knew what I was agreeing to.

How's everyone today?

*Hugs April , Jill and Heather* I hope the three of you are feeling better this morning.

*Hugs Felicia* How are you?

And everyone else?

Hey Julie. You alright?

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Lia*Sheep eh ?

*Hugs Heather*

*Waves to Owen*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Felicia*

Hello everyone.

Yay! People.

*Hugs Lindsey and Mark* How are you both?

I'm a bit low, but i'm meeting with my brother later so hopefully that will keep me distracted.

How are you, Lia?

Hopefully that will be fun Lindsey, try and stay distracted between those times, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. Better simply since you asked that. I was fading into the background being so invisible.

Just randomly had a thought. There must be something wrong with me. I know people grieve in different ways, but my nan died over a year ago, and I obviously cried a few times, but I never really felt the emotions and didn't go through any of the stages. It makes me wonder if I'm just as heartless as everyone else thinks me to be.

*Hugs Lia* I'm okay , totally motivationless , I just lay in bed listening to the rain until gone 11am , I NEED to pay my water bill at the co-op today. Then I NEED to bath , and I have the Housing benefits assesment person comeing between 9.30am and 1pm tomorrow so I'm anxious about that and I want to sleep okay tonight and be Awake when they come , I wish they gave a more specific time :S.

Lia , I really don't beleive that you are heartless , Like you said everyone greives differently , chances are you are still greiveing and will go through it all in your own time .

*Hugs Lindsay* Enjoy your time with your Brother :)

Everyone grieves differently and I don't really believe in stages because of that. Something so personal can't be put into stages. You're probably still grieving now, in your own way.

*Hugs Mark* Hope you manage to get a few things done today.

What time are you meeting your brother Lindsey?

I guess so, it just feels as if I never did grieve for her, or anyone else. I don't understand it, I should have felt something more than that, everyone else did. People wondered why I didn't talk about it, they called me an Ice Queen, but the truth was there was nothing to tell. It's always like this, I am disconnected from my emotions, I feel things, but not as strongly as I should given the circumstance, but it still effects me as if I were feeling everything if that makes sense?

That makes sense Lia yes, I don't beleive you should feel bad about it though , you have proven time and again that you care about people in this ward .

Lia, honey, I totally hear you on the grieving thing. :( All of my grandparents have died, one way or another, since 2001 (my grammy's suicide started the "trend"...). Sorry, I think that if you are disconnected from emotions (those ones [grief] at least), I must be moreso... and I do feel like a freak for it. But I can't really talk about it to anyone except Jarrod because if I mention it to my mum she gets that pinched up face that means "I don't want to talk about this, really really don't!!" ... but anyway, I think I talk about it way too lightly, maybe to protect myself from feeling anything about it? I don't know. I mean, look at what "came out of my fingers" just up there ^^ "my grammy's suicide started the 'trend'" ... yeah... that really sounds like I'm grieving, eh? Maybe we're Ice Queens together. :-X *cuddles*

Mark, sounds like a busy next few days for you. *hugs* Thanks for commenting on my LJ. :) How are you feeling? just "okay"? (that's a synonym for "fine," as Heather pointed out to me :P)

Lindsay, I agree with you, there "shouldn't" really be stages to grieving... I mean, I guess there could be, in a VERY generalized way, but everyone does go about it differently. *hugs*

Just got up, and I'm not talking to Jarrod. :P He tried to get me to at least vocalize - and then he'd "win" :P - by tickling me and stuff... haha... but I stayed quiet!!! Woohoo. ;) It's kind of a joking bet on his part and it's me being stubborn... but oh well. Hee.

Found out that my bestie probably won't be able to come over because she's "going on a hike." WTH?? I really, really wanted to see her. :'( And this is the only time she'll be here in the next 2 weeks... so... yeah. Really wanted to spend some time with her and now she's saying that that probably won't happen. If she's going on a hike with her fiancé I am going to be PISSED because while yes, she does have the right/needs to spend time with him... she talks with him every night... and the only time we've been in touch in TWO WEEKS was last night, 3 texts. :'(

Sorry, just really feeling left out & lonely. :'( I need my girl-time, and I don't really get it from being online. Sorry for being pathetic...

*hides in a hole where no one can find her and cries some more*

*Hugs April* I do that. I joke about things and talk about them so casually, even if they are tearing me apart inside. I'm sorry about your bestie, can't she go on the hike some other time? I know how that feels to be let down, my friends are always doing it to me and I wouldn't mind, if only they said they were sorry. I'm glad I'm not the only one like I am on the ward, but I don't think either of us are Ice Queens really, I just can't show my feelings, but I do have them. More than anyone will ever know. You clearly do too and you're always so kind to people here. *Hugs*

Why can't you sleep Owen ?

What's the matter Owen?

*Flings box across ward with a scream*

Lia what's up cuddles. Curls up, I'm feeling utter crap again. Very triggered and pissed off