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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 18-06-2010 08:37 PM

i vote nap then dinner :)
*hugs back*

CrazyHayley 18-06-2010 08:51 PM

Reggie has just been running circles round me - literatly! it means he likes me, I'm chuffed! Gonna have a fag, nap then dinner methinks. May pop back in later depending on my energy levels.
hmmm, strange thoughts, I miss you guys, so I wonder if i'd be better off still struggling....BUT then I KNOW thats not a sensible thought, its just weird how my priorities have changed and I've less time for the ward now I'm doing better....but I always think about you guys....

*toddles off for a fag before she thinks too much and gets in a pickle*

Scarletdreamer 18-06-2010 08:56 PM

i spy hayley!! *glomps gently* heehee... :) have missed you and your posts, glad to hear that things are going well!! hope that you do okay at the green day concern, enjoy your nap, have fun with reggie, and don't forget to come back and post all about it all. :P

Scarletdreamer 18-06-2010 09:54 PM

erm so yes... responses...

crimson *cuddles* how you doing today? have you "got off the fence" yet? glad that today's better than yesterday though... that's good.

hels, do enjoy your trip!! i know you're probably long gone by now but just wanted to wish it to you again anyway. :) *cuddles*

jill, sorry you're not doing too well, although your post confused me a bit as to whom you were addressing. *cuddles*

laura, yey for thunderstorms... they are so impressive!! (as long as they don't have tornadoes along with 'em... heh) i hope you feel better over the course of the next few days - being low really, really sucks. (as you know - i don't have to tell you that!!) i'm sorry that things feel really, really different - but is that a good or a bad thing? *cuddles* maybe a little "change-up" in routine is a good thing... i don't know, though. how has si been lately?

lindsay *sits next to as well, after setting a box of cuddles on the table for her and everyone else that i didn't mention in my responses - not leaving you out on purpose, promise!!*

i'm so... triggered right now. still. i even took a nap for almost 2 hours and i am still triggered... just goes to prove that sleep is not always an antidote for triggered'ness. grrrrr... i feel so fat and ugly... :'( and those feelings are not likely to go away anytime soon. :(

i see my new therapist for the second time on wednesday. i'm nervous. i'm going to have to take charge of the appt and make sure that she knows i don't want to do sessions every other week, etc. - exactly what i know that i need for recovery to happen. but... oh, i don't know. i still have to call the insurance company to see what my copay's gonna be... probably $15/appt but i'm not sure. that's what it was for my last therapist, and she was located in the same place. so yeah. i hate making phone calls though... especially to insurance companies!!!!

anyway. sorry for rambling and ranting... :(

*hides in a hole, mumbling "selfish selfish selfish"...*

Scarletdreamer 18-06-2010 10:07 PM

oh, and updated r/v...

feel so stupid. :'(

SoMuchMore 18-06-2010 10:34 PM

*hugs lindsay tight*

*hugs crimson* glad to hear that today is better than yesterday so far.

*hugs hayley* We miss you in here too, but I know that i like hearing that you are doing well. So feel free to post whenever you want/have time.

*hugs april* I hate phone calls too.. Its good that you are trying to see the therapist more than once every other week though. Sorry to hear that you are triggered and that sleep did not help. It doesnt always help me either, or sometimes it helps a bit but not enough to stop anything.
Oh.. and I read your thread in the ED forum. April, hun, you are important and deserve support. No matter how long your problems have lasted it does not make you any less deserving. (i wouldve responded in there but i dont use the ED forum so.. yea)

As for what you asked about me. I don't know if different is good or bad, both kind of i guess. Some aspects of life are easier like this, but I also feel guilty about other things, like I am abandoning or giving up on something that I am not supposed too. SI stuff is there. I'm following through on my "SI plan" that I made when I was at home a few weeks ago. It hides it well. I guess its bad b/c i'm hardly trying anymore. I mean i say that I am fighting the urges and i make it through a night maybe, but the next day i'll give in. I used to be cutting only about 1 or 2 times a month, not several times a week. So much has been happening lately though.. and if a lot is happening in the outside world, then 300x more things are going on in my head.

PoisonedApple 19-06-2010 12:11 AM


When Pam and Peggy were children, they were already sidetracked and their Born Organized(BO) Mom put them in the upstairs attic, so she would not have to look at their messiness. Out of sight, out of mind.

The girls being sidetracked would become so involved with their playing, that they would forget to do down stairs to the bathroom. They were very creative, so they decided to stick their little bottoms out the upstairs window and let their pee run down the roof.

Several years later, they were helping their dad work on the TV anteena, and their father mentioned that he had never been able to figure out why the moss on the roof had died in two tracks running down the roof. Needless to say, Pam and Peggy never mentioned it. LOL
Just thought I'd copy and paste from an email I got since it was funny to me... thought we could all use a laugh.

PoisonedApple 19-06-2010 03:56 AM

Woohoo! I just found out that Flyleaf is having a free concert tomorrow night downtown! I might even be able to go! *squeals in excitement*

risenfromperdition 19-06-2010 04:11 AM

^ jeaaaalous =p

i getta see friend AND 'my kids' [triplets at church] tomorrow :)

i spys laura :)

risenfromperdition 19-06-2010 06:30 AM

iwantsleep :(

wolfos3d 19-06-2010 07:28 AM

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't been very talkative. *hugs* I'm making vain attempts to get my life in order and it's left me feeling rather tired and unsocial. I'm up to the part where I get to sit around and wait for a few weeks.

Scarletdreamer 19-06-2010 12:25 PM

i spy a mark!! *glomps* how're things going? tonight's the biggish night isn't it? :( i'm sorry that you have to keep your happy mask on... wish you could feel like you could be honest how you feel... because i know how hard it can be to have a mask up like that. anyway...

*hugs jess* it's okay you haven't been very talkative, have missed you posting though. hope things are going okay - well done for trying to straighten out your life. :) proud of you.

*hugs heather* hope you are doing okay and got some sleep last night... where are you located now? still in new jersey or pennsylvania?

*huggles crimson* yey flyleaf!! free concerts = amazing. :D hopefully you do get to go... let us know and take some pics if you do!! :D

i'm really quite tired. i have no idea what time i got to sleep even though i went to bed at 7pm... and i got up at 6am. so it's gonna be a nap sort of day. blah. at least we don't have anything that we need to get done... jarrod's still recuperating from his op so no hikes or anything, dunno if we should even walk into town from here. hmmm. i wonder what we will do today!!

*curls up next to mark and dozes*

Doikers 19-06-2010 12:31 PM

So got to my parent's late yesterday afternoon for my parents big 60th anniversay only to be told by my SIster that my Mum had , an hiout previously slipped on the stairs , broke het foot , ruptured her ligament , but NOT dropped the baby , so Mum is in hospital as the Ligament HAS to be opourated on and the party is off .
Being in the hospital triggered me , bought back memouries of an OD years back , *Selfish much*

Ohh Greenday in concert *Flaps in exitement* Enjoy Hayley!!

ANd flyleaf too *Mini Flaps*


Scarletdreamer 19-06-2010 12:51 PM

awh mark, i'm sorry to hear about your mum!! that sucks... and it's not selfish to have had memories come back about an od you took years ago, that's not the kind of thing you can control (the memories i mean - and sometimes not even the actions). *squishes tight* hopefully the surgery goes well... when are they operating or have they already? :-S

just got on wow for a bit, trying to figure out the whole horde side of things, hah. it's not working too well as i don't have anyone as a friend who knows it very well (i mean irl) that can show me the works. :-/ so yeah. ummm... couldn't focus much either. am anxious, tired still, blah. need to write up stuff for my internship (weekly report for my faculty supervisor and a post to my fellow interns on how it's going). grrrrr!!

*hides in a hole in the warren to cry a little bit out of stress & frustration*

Scarletdreamer 19-06-2010 01:38 PM

oh, and updated r/v... :(

i spies an oliver and a julie!! *cuddles*

frenchhorn 19-06-2010 01:40 PM

*cuddles everyone who can accept cuddles*
I'm sorry I've been so crap recently with individual replies, when stuff has calmed down for me I shall be in here more and will do replies, but at the moment everything is a bit much to cope with.
my girlfriend is still in hospital, they have now said its a viral infection and she should hopefully be out on Monday. we've been going out a month today so I'm going to go visit her in a bit, she is getting really fed up of being in there and not liking it.
me, I guess I am surviving but only just, I feel so stuck at the moment with everything, my depression is really clouding over me, I just don't seem to care anymore, my room is becoming a mess, the kitchen is a mess, I'm not looking after myself properly, I just seem to be falling apart again and I don't know how to keep hanging on. so very nearly brought some pills the other day, managed to get out of the shop though before I completely freaked.

*hides in a dark corner where no one can find him because he is being pathetic and useless*

frenchhorn 19-06-2010 01:53 PM

I spies April *glomps* *hugs* I'm really sorry about your dog, I don't think your mean for it affecting you so much, a death of a pet is very hard especially one you have had for so long and become so attached to.

Scarletdreamer 19-06-2010 03:52 PM

*glomps oliver back* :) i'm glad to hear that your girlfriend is going to be out of the hospital soon but it really sucks that it was a viral infection. :( i would be tired of being in hospital too, if i were she... hopefully she feels better soon!! you're not being pathetic or useless, love. please try to not let yourself think things like that... easier said than done i know, believe me, but still... give it a go. you're a lovely person, amazing, strong, talented, clever, fun to talk with, etc. *gentle hugs* i'm glad that you didn't buy the pills... well done for not. :)

and thanks for the reassurances about michael (the dog). i just feel mean for it affecting me more than people i know dying. i mean, how heartless can you get?! :'(

*hides in a hole, away from everyone* :'(

I'mJustMe 19-06-2010 04:04 PM

Hey Laura. Yes, I am Lia.

I know it's not a big deal, but my mum is shouting again and I really hate it. She never stops. I guess it could be worse, at least she's only shouting and it isn't directed at me. Sometimes I rather it was though,weirdly, it's easier to deal with when it's me at the receiving end of her shouting and everything.

I feel like crying. I am trying to hold it back because I can't cry. I don't cry. But it's fathers' day tomorrow and I just wish I had someone to give a card to.

I'm going to stop because I am on the verge of tears and I can't let them spill. I think I might go for a walk.

Hope everyone's OK.

*Hugs Lindsey and anyone else that needs it.*


Scarletdreamer 19-06-2010 06:28 PM

*cuddles lia* you can cry, sweetheart, if you need to. why do you feel like you can't? :( i'm sorry that your mum is shouting... :( that has got to be awful. i can't really imagine as when i was growing up my mum just got quiet - the "silent treatment" - i don't know if i would have almost rathered her yell/scream... probably not, but the silent treatment was awful. i do that every once in awhile now, funny how things get passed down from generation to generation. anyway, that was a ramble, sorry. :(

i feel awful, so anxious, not hungry at all. we're at my parents' place right now (jarrod and i) because i wanted to play "city on our knees" for my dad for father's day on the dulcimer, had been prepping for it for months. it's by tobymac and my bestie said that that was probably the first time it was played on the dulcimer, lol. but anyway... sooo anxious. can't control it. having trouble breathing. :'(

love this song, have been listening to it... i think delta goodrem tops britt nicole as my favorite female singer now... lol. sorry for posting so many songs; i hope you guys don't mind. :-S

*hides in the warren*

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