Thanks Kahlia *hugs* I hope your day was ok. Waiting sucks! hope your housemate will be ok.

sorry guys but im out. being feeling ****. yestarday just about sent me over and i nearly cut. apartly i just bitch and moan, and no one whats to hear it. okay this person was tierd and hant had alot of sleep. but it really hurt, and angered me, and really upset me. i wanted to just come to a site were i could excape all that **** i had to deal with in really life. because that what happens, people take there anger or tiredness out on me. its not my fault if i cant express how i feel. hmm =/ sorry for this pointless post.

*hugs to all* Sorry i can't do individual replies but i feel like s*** i truly belong on the ward right now i'm all mixed up inside i feel sick with it. I truly want to sleep and never wake up and then i feel guilty for feeling that way because i know how that would hurt my parents and friends. Sorry pointless post *curls up in a corner with a blankie*

Oh my goodness... so much going on in the ward whislt I was out of it on pain meds for my back. My back is now practically out of spasm so I'm just on my regular pain meds now, so with no dihydracodiene, no morphine and no diazepan in my system I'm not feeling as ok as I was. Infact I hit myself til my arms are black and blue and purged with laxatives last night so everythings just 'mega'....or not, but hey, I didn't cut so thats something right?

I'm so sorry that everyone else is going through so much **** at the moment, but my head isn't in the right place after my therapy session yesterday to be able to offer supportive individual responses, just know that I'm thinking of you all and here for cuddles, huggles and snuggles with a huge box of tissues to mop up our tears.

I wish I could tell people how I'm really feeling, cos how can I stop feeling like this unless I tell the truth and try to get better?! But the words don't come out. I don't want to upset anyone else. arrghh!!!

ooh just seen the time, next lot of meds and a fag me thinks....

*goes out to the smoking shelter*

been doing online food shop at tescos.....anyone got any requests for in here? How I wish that I could get gluten free food thats low calorie.... guess I'm in for a lot of salad and rice cakes this week coming....

*bangs head on wall*

*goes out to smoking shelter hoping someone will be in here when I return*

*sprays self with pretty smellingb stuff so as not to stink of fags*

sorry for waflling nonsense and taking up uber amounts of room in here, but I don't know what else to do to stay safe.

Hey guys

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days, just not been in a typing frame of mind. I've had an ok week. Been exercising loads, been to lots of exercise classes and stuff. It's a less damaging way of burning off calories rather than purging. I met my new psych yesterday and he is absolutely lovely. Been put on (as well as clonazepam) citalopram and also on the pill because my GP said today that my oestrogen levels are at pre-pubescent levels. The psych is gonna have a meeting with various people and decide what treatment plan because I have quite a few different problems it's quite complicated.

I hope you are all doing ok, lots of loves and hugs to you all xxx

Hi everyone. Would do individual replies, but am on my sister's mini computer (I accidently uploaded a virus on our PC!) and it would be a bit tricky.
Had some friends over last night which was nice, and having a drink with my dad tonight.
Hope everyone's okay. Thinking of you all.
xxx

Housemate went into hospital today for a lumpectomy. She said that if everything goes well, she'll be back tomorrow.

Now there's a chance she might not be. So...does that mean that it didn't go too well, or what? :/

Hope everyone is safe. I'm not. Hospital won't take me, no beds. I'm going between RYL and another forum i'm on, trying to keep grounded.

i had surgery to take a metal rod out of my arm from when i broke it a couple years ago, and because i'm allergic to the available pain medications, i've got to go med free. and because of the anasthetic, i can't take my normal meds either, and the meds for the HIV are making me go crazy, and i'm scared.:crying:

but the scariest part? I'm sitting on the roof of my 2 story house, with my laptop. you'd think it'd be the least safe place for me? no, it's the only place i could find that didn't make me feel like someone was going to come kill me:notsure:

Hayley - I'm sorry nobody was here last night for you, hon, I hope that you're ok...

Hannah - *big hugs* Glad it's been a better week for you. It sounds like things are on the mend and you have somebody that's really going to try and help you. I hope it all goes to plan, keep us updated?

Tödlich - ( I hope that's right!) ... Don't worry about your housemate, I'm sure she's fine. Sometimes they like to keep to keep people in a bit longer just to make sure that there's going to be nothing wrong. Send her my best...and I hope she's home soon...

Jazz - I'm sorry you're not feeling safe, hon, but I hope you're ok...It sounds like the hospital haven't done a very good job of helping you if they've messed about with meds...hopefully there'll be a bed for you soon and you can get the help that you want/need. If you need to talk, just drop me a message or something. :)

*hugs to everybody else* Hope you're all ok! xxx

i'm feeling better, and want to come down from the roof, but i'm stuck. *blushes* i have very limited use of my left arm, so i can't get onto the ladder to get back down so i can go to bed, and it's 5:30 in the morning!

maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

*hides in the corner* hate myself today

*offers hugs to all*

Wish the weather would make it's mind up :wow:

*bounces about ward* :woot: I'm whats called an Incarnated Angel!! I discovered this last night whislt reading a book when I took myself off to bed early to stay safe. Everything has fallen into place!! I'm not mental or different or disabled....its just that I'm an angel in a human body!! I feel fantastic now it all makes sense!! :-D

The thing is.... this isn't one of my crazy distraction things, I wholeheartedly believe it.... So now everyone thinks I've reached breaking point....and to be honest I don't care if thats what it is, 'cos I've been happy and on a high since 8.30pm last night!! :woot: And I'm still feeling good even though I have pain from my physical problems.

Anyhoo....

*huggles Hannah banana* I really hope that the new meds help and I'm so pleased for you that you're new pscyh is absolutely lovely! :-)

*Huggles Arwen* Oops a daisy for a virus on your PC....perhaps I should hug your PC better instead?.....:tongue2:

*finds Arwens PC and huggles it*

*huggles Todlich/Dayna (sorry am confused?!)* I really hope that you've had some good news about your housemate by now. I hope you've not been worried too much.

*huggles Jazz* Oh my goodness, what crap complications of medication issues that you're having to deal with, I can only imagine what its like. I hope that you managed to get down from the roof safely and then stay safe.

*huggles Vicki* thanks for the huggles sweetie, no need to apologise for no one being here - thats not your fault. Anyhoo the ward served its purpose and got me through it.

.....*goes over to corner.....*

*huggles Shadowedseraph* Do you want to talk and let your feelings out? Or I can just sit with you for a while in this corner? Or I can bugger off to another bit of the ward.... Remember that we don't hate you in here, so focus on those positive thoughts.

*huggles Helen* Come over to my part of the ward, my weathers been constant all week....well apart from the scary thunderstorm at 2am this morning, but my trusty ol Ted got me through that.....my partner however, slept through it!!

*goes around every nook and cranny of the ward to huggle everyone and share my happiness*

Gosh being happy is tiring! Not that I'm complaining, just stating the facts....though its probably more to do with the fact that I've got M.E and today I was out of my flat for 6hours!!! Travelling to/from and seeing a friend who I've not seen in a year cos I've been anti social. Anyhoo, I've taken my night meds early and now gonna get tucked up in bed before I fall down. Nighty Night all!

*goes into favourite corner by big pot plant to curl up and recupperate*

Dayna - Any news? Hope your flatmate is okay.

Jazz - I don't think it was a stupid idea if it was the only place you felt safe. Just hope you managed to get off the roof!

*Hugs Vicki back* How are you?

*Sits with Seraph* I'm here if you need to talk.

Helen - It's been pretty constant here. Very sunny and very hot. Been enjoying the sunshine? I have. But not the heat so much.

*Dances with Hayley* Nice to see you so happy hun :) Sleep well.

-------

I'm going to have to post in the first aid forum. I've found a lump...down there. Not sure what it is, but I'm feeling a bit worried as I haven't been feeling very well these last few days.
Otherwise I'm okay.
Stayed up till 4am drinking last night, on my own. Dad had some wine with me till about 1am and then I stayed up on chat. Didn't know anyone in there. They were all mostly from other countries seeing as it was very early morning for me.

*Leaves hugs and warm thoughts for everyone*
xxx