*cuddles Julie*

update r/v again. *screams and punches the wall*

*cuddles Hannah (?)/Wildly insane* I'm sorry that you've had a bad day... yes, hopefully tomorrow will be better!! :) For both of us - ALL of us...

*cuddles Julie* How are you, hon?

*cuddles Crimson 'cause I spy you!!* :D As Mark said, sounds like you've had to put up with a hell of a lot of immature behavior. Grats on getting Lurial up that high - what other toons do you have (j/w)? I'm sorry I didn't get to play with you but maybe once you get to like level 25 my level 30 mage can play with your priest? Hehe two squishies playing together... :P *more huggles*

*tucks Hayley into her ward bed* Nighty night, love, pleasant dreams. :) Hopefully you'll "stay sane" and will be happier for it!! :D

*tucks Mark into his ward bed* Sweet dreams... :) Talk to you in the morning hopefully, before I'm off to my internship - I will have to be there earlier, 8am instead of 9am, because that's how my hours work. Heh, fun.

*cuddles Hels* I'm sorry you're having money issues and best friend issues and other issues... your life seems so far from easy and I wish that I could help more than I do... I'm here for you though, love, and I hope that you know that. *holds you and rocks you gently* "Things will be okay in the end... if they're not okay it's not the end" - I truly do believe that.

*cuddles Oliver* I'm sorry that you're not doing too well atm, what did your horn teacher do to make you angry?

*cuddles Laura, wherever she is* What's up, sweetie?

*cuddles Nicole* I'm sorry, sweetie, that your mum was being unfair and mean. That's not cool at all. :( At least you have us to talk with, right? :)

*cuddles Tineke* Missed you!! Are you kind of okay? or not really?

*cuddles Kahlia, JK, Kat, and anyone else I missed*

I'm doing okayish... stressed out about tomorrow but looking forward to figuring out what I'll be wearing... lol I know, typical "girliness" but I can't help it, I've never had to go business casual for days at a time. :) It's kind of exciting to be honest. I like looking nice... :)

No one wanted to know what I got in my parcels? *pouts* Hehe.......... :)

*curls up and cries in the window seat cuz I'm such teh loser face*

*Note for April~ I'll look tonight and let you know who's where I know Ashean and Demyn are on runetotem... I have others too though.

*cuddles Crimson* You are NOT a loser, sweetie. I'll read your r/v in just a sec... I need to update mine too. :( Thanks for checking - oh, and what levels/side are Ashean and Demyn? I might start a toon on Runetotem... we'll see. :) I love starting toons... heh. I'm so altoholicky. :P

Anyway. You are NOT a loser, no one in here is, and I wish I could all make you think well of yourselves. :(

*sprinkles cuddles around the ward*

I just want this to end && be okay :'(

I mentioned best friend issues? :S What? When?? LOL!

Your best friend not feeling well enough to do the chat tonight? I thought you mentioned that... :-/ Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me and I haven't had enough Abilify lately... heh. :-X

*hides* :o

How ironic is it tht I got an email today with the subject line of : "Is your emotional account bankrupt?"

Um...I didn't say that :) Haven't said that in a long time ^_^

Got to talk to my best friend tonight though, as planned...

*hides, curls up and sobs*

*sits wriggling around* i wanna no wats in ur mail

Oh whoops, just went back to check and I totally misread a post... :-X lol... Sorry for the mixup, Hels, all my fault. :P (*feels like an idiot*)

Well, for those who want to know, I got this blue sleeveless hoodie that has verses from Song of Solomon on the back and an empire waistline shirt that says "Beloved" on the front of it from c28.com. I can wear them to my internship so I am excited about that, especially as the empire waistline shirt is 3/4 length sleeves so will hide some of my scars. :) Then I got two psychology books (A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis and The Games People Play by Eric Berne, both pretty old books but psych classics according to one of my profs) and a cd (Sirenia's "13th Floor"). So 5 packages total, because I use Amazon's used & new so the last three things didn't come in the same package as I ordered them from different places through Amazon. I have no idea why the stuff from c28.com didn't come in one package though... :-/

So yey. :)

My tummy hurts... just ate supper... want to purge now. :'(

It's not a problem darling. I thought you may have mis-read something. It's easily done. *cuddles tight* Try not to purge and your parcels sound awesommmmme :D

*hugs Helen* What's on your mind? :(

*hugs April* your purchases sound awesome :)

*offers hugs to anyone who needs them*

Lots is on my mind Taz :( It sucks. Am seriously struggling. Am so scared I'll do something just to make this feeling end for a while at least :S :'( *cuddles*

Keep talking to us, Hels, love. *cuddles* And thanks for being so understanding... lol... I hate feeling like an idiot. :( Don't do anything "stupid," we need you to be okay. Because you're awesome and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk with sometimes. :) Same goes for all of you. You all mean so much to me... *tons of cuddles*

*cuddles Taz* How you doing, sweetie?

Updated r/v. Twice. I feel like ****......... really really REALLY want to purge.... :'( and am anxious but listening to my new cd, which I looooove... hehe. Xandria is the next group I'll be ordering a cd by, they're awesome too, if you like female-fronted Goth rock bands (which I do :D).

Just want to die. Please? :'(

I am trying to keep talking to you guys. But finding it hard & don't want to sound like a broken record you know? :( *cuddles tight* I'm a very understanding person lol. Not always a good thing I guess. But yes. Don't feel like an idiot *snuggles* We all make mistakes & stuffs. I'm trying to stay safe & not do anything 'stupid'. I wish I could be okay :'( I really really do. I'm not awesome. I'm sure you'd cope without me being here. You mean so much to me too. The whole ward does really.

*cuddles Taz* Like April asked how you doing sweetie?

I kinda want to die too April. I know, sounds pathetic. If I can't, then you must certainly can't. We'll get through this.

i'm sorry........................ i'm a pathetic bitch.

:'(

And you ARE awesome, Hels... i'm sure that the whole ward would agree with me. *cuddles tight*

gotta go take a bath... then bed. at least it'll keep me from purging/cutting/doing anything "stupid" ... for a bit at least. :'(

You're not a pathetic bitch. Nothing to apologise for sweetheart. I'm not awesome, but thank you *cuddles tight* Try & enjoy your bath and keep staying safe sweetheart :'(

*super squishy hug for Helen* you don't sound like a broken record to me. We're here to listen and help. you can PM me if you want... I'm horrible at offering advice, but definitely willing to listen :)

*super squishy hug for April* You're not pathetic at all <3 You have SO much to offer, don't sell yourself short. (easier said than done, I know)

I'm alright... having a decent day. Had counseling earlier, somewhat helped, but somewhat messes with my mind too. Hard to explain...
And my mom is beating herself up (figuratively) over my SI, blaming herself... even when I tell her that it's not her fault. She won't believe me when I say I'm okay, because apparently if I was okay, I wouldn't be doing this. =/ I'm just trying to focus on getting some of my chemistry done. Looking forward to being home alone all day tomorrow, not have to worry about meeting any expectations.

*hugs for everyone in the ward*
Oh, you're all awesome. I don't want to say that to only one person and have others feel left out. But you are all wonderful <3 :)