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Idontwannadothisanymoreireallyreallydont.
Why does life have to be so bloody hard. *cries* |
*hugs*
I wish I had the answer to that sweetie. What happened? *more hugs* |
Everything is just going complety wrong :( i new it would i just new it, i can't say the full thing as to why i'm feeling so bad, i just can't cause i'm in tears and i just don't know whether i can do this any longer :'( xx
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Two of the honorary uncles that I always count on seeing at the Thursday night meeting weren't there. I feel lost without them. As much as I have and I snivel about what I don't have.
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I feel utter useless re: helping certain people :(
I've had another bad night's sleep :( But had fun talking to Ally though, so thank you for that hun =D *sighs* I really don't like Friday 13th :( |
I might try to quit my job today, it's absolutely horrible.
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Good Luck Zowie, I hope it goes okay *snuggles*
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Thinking about you Zowie.
I'm thinking about looking in at the small fabric store to see if they need someone a couple of mornings a week. But I haven't decided. Maybe if I do it just for the summer. |
lol any time Helen luv :-)
Susan-mom, maybe just for the summer to start..? And then see how that goes? Good luck Zowie, sweetie. *yawn* EXHAUSTED... need to see if my mom has any butterfly closures or some tape I can use to make some :pinch: *sigh* Damn it |
*snuggles Ally*
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Thanks for the luck people. My boss wasn't in today, so I couldn't quit. Damn damn damn.
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I have more work coming in tomorrow, copying a couple of dresses for an older lady. She has a couple of dresses that she has loved to pieces. Actually her care taker will bring the dresses over cause I live upstairs. That is fine.
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Sounds pretty good :D
How's Emma? Emma (lil-princess)? Ally? Jemery? Alexx? Jess? Amanda? Katch? Anyone else (since I know Carole has left and Chloe has gone home) |
I can't do this forever. I just cut, pretty deep but somewhere different from normal and blood just started spurting 3 or 4 inches in the air, it's stopped now but never had spurting before, just pumping at a maximum. Instead of being freaked out, I'm vaguely intrigued. Blood droplets spurted all over but stopped fairly quickly. Twas awesome though. Know shouldn't glamorise but it was pretty different. I want that back, presume hit a arteriole instead of small vein. Such power though, such control. I want it back. Not in the best of places tonight though.
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I just can't do this forever. That is the reality. Had a fair bit to drink, but will let you in on a secret, something I swore to tell nobody....I have been planning it. I know how it will happen and I know that because of that I will not complete some of the tasks I have promised I will. I know how it will occur, with what and to a certain extent when. I just need to finalise a date, but I keep putting off the finalising date. I have a vague idea but that's it. I don't want to do this anymore. No matter how 'ok' I seem, it will never be alright. I will never be 'good' and this is probably the only way.
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*snuggles Emma*
Oh sweetie... I don't know what to say to you. Other than, intreguing though it may be (and believe me I know what you mean, I felt the same way) spurting isn't a good thing and while it may have stopped now it's very likely to start again (mine did... and I had been pretty proud of myself -was drunk at the time- for being able to stop it and a bit miffed at the Dr who managed to get it going again). Whatever you hit needs to be tied off sweetie. I don't want to try and convince you of anything... heaven knows we hear it enough from other people and it gets SO tiering... I just want to tell you that I love you... and while I am the first person to say that you shouldn't decide to stay just for others (though I know many of us are still here for that exact reason)... I'd miss you terrible, I'd feel awful at the loss of my friend, my 'across the pond drinking buddy' Please take care sweetie *cuddles you* |
*hugs helen*
I'm feeling blah....got so much uni work study to do..argh :-S How is every1 else keeping up?? *cuddles everyone and leaves a few hot chocolates behind for ppl to drink* |
Emma....
First of all *hugs* It's my fault, I was the one who went around assuming and saying to Ally & Emma that you were okay *sighs* My bad. You really need to take Ally's advice on that cut. I know how much you hate A&E- it's boring, tiring, etc. But you know all of this so I won't really say it because I feel like I'm being patronising. I know that if you die.....I'd miss you so much (words can't describe it), I also know Emma...Ally...Alexx...and others in here would miss you. But we shouldn't ask you to stay for us, but to stay for yourself hun. Don't you want to see what you can make of life hun? I know you're really struggling and I'm pretty sure uni hasn't gone well this year. But....you could turn that all around or something? But if you died...you'd never have that chance. I know the future seems so dark when you feel how you do. I was there, I've been there a million times and I'll probs think that's how it feels a million times more...but thee's so many good times to come Em. Don't you think? Because everything comes and goes...feelings....humans...everything... |
*sighs*
It blinking turned up. So the pain has commenced grr, I'm gonna try take painkillers for it today >.< It should be alright though. I need to be able to cope with tablets since my malira tablets will need to be taken for about seven weeks which is like 49 days :S |
Bozo had trouble getting onto the bed this morning. He grabbed my shin. It looks worse than it feels though. Durn it all, I thought Philip had just trimmed Bozo's claws.
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