I meant the phone , Yes I am releived the van is gone . *Hugs*
Should I delete that post do you think?

*cuddles Hels* What's going on, sweetheart? ♥

*cuddles Taz* Don't worry too much about keeping up, it can definitely get crazy here on the ward, no pun intended!! We're a busy bunch. :P I'm sorry that nighttime is so bad for you... lying awake for 2 hours before falling asleep sucks. :( Especially if you're thinking about "things." :( Oh, and I love your sig. :D Superchick rocks.

*cuddles Mark* I don't think that anyone is spying on you or listening to you, love. Stress can make us all think funny things, and I think that's what's happening with you. Maybe talk with your pdoc about it? sorry if that's a dense thing to say, it's just that you might need a med switch/change-up or something. How's WoW going for ya? what level is your warrior now? :D

*cuddles Kat* How was your vacation? Glad to have you back... :) I hope that you got some relaxation in during it, and that you didn't switch too much.

*hugs Steel Maiden, if that's okay? (sorry, don't know your name)* How are you??

What's rock? (besides a thing made out of minerals that lies on the ground... lol)

I just got back from my eye doctor's appt and it was a waste of my time really, didn't do much at all. He just looked at my eyes, didn't even make me take out my contacts which was VERY unusual. My left eye has gotten a bit worse, oh yey... :(

My bestie was supposed to come over tonight but had to cancel... :'( I really need to talk with her, about MM/residential treatment and what she thinks, etc. I don't know. I really feel adrift here, I don't know what's best for me, and I just want to curl up and die. So over this life.

:crying:

EDIT: Mark, sorry if it sounded like I was downtalking you or your feelings... I know what it's like to be paranoid and it is really scary. I'm sorry. :(

April , you weren't downtalking my feelings, I'm glad to have you talk to me ,
My Warrior is level 9 and a half now , I need to level up for a quest :S WoW works as a disraction , someone dueled me and I lost and they give me some armour "just because" which was really nice .

I'm sorry your friend coulden't come over , my Friend coulden't come to meet me yesterday as planned and I felt bad , It sucks.

Oh and rock is long tubes of pink and white , mint flavoured hard candy with the name of the place you get it from written allthrough it :) Rots your teeth though but Is nice.

*huggles mark* I went to butlins bognor with baby, hubby and my parents.

*huggles april* not too bad with the switches. hubby was very understanding that the girls were likely to be about, what with it being a holiday park full of funfair rides and stuff! Somebody unpleasant popped up a few times, but we havn't had the chance to discuss it yet so can't work out who. Miel was quiet as always, though I think i spotted him once in the spa.

I so feel i need to catch up in here, but i've missed so much stuff i don't know where to start.

*cuddles everyone*

Taz, call me Helen or Hells or Hels :)
Hi there Oly (I think that's your name?)
Thanks for the offer of hand holding Mark :)
*cuddles April back*

I'm just being pathetic :'( I've been on my own since this afternoon when a friend went to bed, as she's in Aus. So yeah, alone with all the thoughts & urges. Tried to play on Sims 3 as I love it but couldn't get into it. I texted both of my besties earlier. Hardly heard a thing all day. Oh well, my feelings aren't a worry clearly. *cries* I know they can't be there for me 24/7 even if they do try their best to :S But to tell me you're going to text me later & then only text because I called, just ugh, I don't know. I ended up going to sleep...

I just feel so empty & alone :'( Plus just makes me feel the pain of losing Katie even more tonight. Don't know why. Just being pathetic. Ignore me :D

*cuddles hels* i'm sorry you're having a 'bad contact' day. sometimes it happens just when you don't need it. I hope that you feel a little less alone with us here.

*hugs April* Thanks... I just feel bad leaving people out or not replying to everything :( But everyone should know that I do read all the posts :)

*hugs Mark* One of my best friends plays WoW... tried to get me into it, but I just couldn't grasp it at all. As long as it works as a distraction for you that's great :)

*hugs Kat*

*squishes Helen & hugs her tightly* Sorry, I kinda got lost with all the names back there >< Sucks when your friends make promises like that (okay, not actual promises, but same idea)

So true Kat. Always happens on my bad days usually. *cuddles* I feel a little less alone with you guys I guess :(

Taz, it does suck. *squishes tightly back* Hoping one will come online after she's had her sleep, but who knows right now :'( Feels like they don't care. Which is stupid because I know they do & I know they're really worried :'( :'(

*Hugs Helen* You're not being pathetic , anything but . I hope you can stick around here and that we will make you feel less alone , if only in a virtual way :)

well here are the pictures, just got back from my concert, so still in my DJ, I'm off to get food because I'm too lazy and tired to cook, will reply properly later.

*hugs all*

*huggles Taz* hi, nice to meet you, especially with a huggle

Hels: I wonder if that's because it contributes towards making it a bad day, so it feels worse and on good days we just dont notice?

EDIT: oliver: great pics, and cute DJ. Fancy a virtual dinner?! *winks and smiles*

Hey Oliver you look great , it really suits you :) How went the Concert ? Enjoy your food !!

Well I have to get to bed , I hope my meds will kick in and I'll sleep , catch up with you all tomorrow , *Hugs Ward*

Thanks Mark. *hugs back* I am being pathetic. One of my best friends has come online :tongue2: Hope you sleep well.

Think you're right there :(

Oliver, I am loving your new haircut & you look very smart =]

*hugs Helen* I don't think you're pathetic :)
*hugs Mark* Sleep tight :)
*hugs Oliver* Lookin' good :D

Thanks Taz :) How you doing>?

I spy a Hels!! *cuddles*

Sleep well, Mark. *cuddles and tucks you up*

*hides in a dark corner* :'(

Helen - I'm alright at the moment since it's still daytime. Trying to keep my mind occupied. Yourself?
*hugs April* What's wrong? :(

thank you guys, I actually love my hair, first time I've actually got it how I want it.

*hugs April* I'm sorry your friend cancelled on you, how are you doing now?

*hugs Helen* your not pathetic.

*hugs Taz and Kat*

*hugs Mark* hope you have a good nights sleep.

*hugs everyone*

My dr gave me a few sleeping pills today to try and get me back into a rountine of sleeping through at night, but I just dont want to go to seep yet, it feels way too early for me.

Oh Oliver, did forget to say that I like your hair. Glad you got it the way you wanted it. :) *hugs*

Am not doing too well. :(

*hides again*