Why ruin my brother relationship with her too? If ignorance keeps him happy then ignorance it is.

I cant describe it. I sont know know how. I just coming out as I want to die thoughts.

I think I can understand that, a lot of my feelings get blurred or overwhelming and just seem to be 'I want to die.' It sounds like you have a lot to deal with so no wonder you want everything to stop. Are you still seeing your CPN tomorrow?

Yeh. No support worker though.

Do you think you'll be able to talk through some of the things you're feeling?

Dont want to. Want to overdose.

Sorry. That's unhelpful.

I get not wanting to talk about what's going on. It can be really hard when you feel so overwhelmed. Do you think even though you don't want to talk about it, you'll at least try to?

Cant do this cant xant xant trying to be happy and nor.al and message people and make them laugh but I'm so upset

You're allowed to be upset. You don't have to try to be happy if you're not.

Would these people listen to you if you were honest about how you're feeling rather than trying to make them laugh? You don't need to keep doing what you think it right for other people, they can do what is right for you too.

This life is just damned impossible.

What's happening?

Everything is rubbish. Nothing ever gets solved or fixed. And I'm so sick of being cold. Not just chilly,so cold I'm shivering in my own fucking house. Where I dont even have a working toilet right now.

Am very very triggered by being back at the burns unit for an appointment.

How do you manage being triggered, are there things you can do to lessen the feelings? It would be difficult if the burns unit kept triggering you and then you burned and had to go back for longer and got stuck in that cycle. Please focus on your healing rather than harming.

I'm sorry there are so many things going on for you right now and I hope that things do get fixed. It's hard when everything seems to be going wrong all at once or one after the other.

Ignore it till it goes away or act on it. Am in a limbo where I can do neither as I'm travelling home.

Maybe the journey will lessen the intensity of the urges. Can you think about what you might do when you get home to keep yourself occupied? I know it's hard to keep ignoring things like that but I really do think it is the best idea and I believe you can get through this safely.

How have you been doing over the past few days Lillie?

Dunno.
Am hungry, tired, lonely and scared.

How do you ask for help? Who do you ask for help. What even is 'help'?

I'm not majorly suicidal. Just have a sense of unease that things aren't good. At the beginning of being very not good. Someone I trust explicitly said that they're concerned.