*offers hugs to all*

I'm starting to feel a bit better.
A guy asked me out this week who I've kind had my eye on a little bit, so that's nice.
Brittany still isn't talking to me, but I'll live without her...
Even though it's hard and it still hurts.

I may be ready to leave soon, but I'm sticking around for a little while til I'm sure.

i can on longer communicate in my world or this world, i dont want to be any were... whats the point.

i feel like a totally failure.

*offers hugs to all*

Sorry haven't been around so much cause I've been moving. Went for one day without one of my meds and am paying for it now. Almost time to take another one so will keep this short. Just hoping everyone's okay.

Hey peeps, can't stay long my Dad is visiting with my one remaining dog in less than half an hour and I'm not dressed yet :P Just wanted to give anybody who wanted them *huge sunday huggles* and hope that you're all okay.

Oly, my name's Hannah

HannahBanana hope you have a lovely weekend on leave, and stay safe

good luck moving Kahlia

glad you're feeling a bit better Ashley

Lucy, stay as long as you want, you're safe here and keep fighting

Sorry to hear the pub job fell through Arwen, sounds ****, you ok about it?

Todlich - sorry keep wanting to call you dayna :) did you mange to get rid of the spaciness again? sounds tough to deal with

Myself don't beat yourself up over it, are you getting help to work out why you are thinking these thoughts?

*hugs again and leaves jammy doughnuts for you to enjoy* arrgghh 15 minutes gotta get dressed

*offers hugs to all* I have scanned posts and am thinking of you but feel as though I have nothing constructive to offer.

Im having one of those days, thing are awkard with my boyfriend, I don't know whether to head back to uni because I jave exams and I know I won't bother eating if i do.

Sorry I havent been around much - Things at the new Job are going great - however my life aint going so great! Broke down last night on the phone to my other half, after keeping things to myself again for a long time, got to the stage that he is now really worried about me!!!

I've spent today spring cleaning (which is the only way i can concentrate and get things of my chest and outta my head) my mam and dad havent noticed the fact that my eyes are blood shot and puffy from all teh crying i've done today! they cant see the pain in my eyes at all!!!

and all this time things keep building up and i couldnt even tell my other half becasue i am ashamed to admit that i cant cope!!!!!!!!!!

I think im just gonna have to tell him everything!! but i dont want to !!!!!!!


ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGg why cant i just tell him things are getting my down!!!!!!!!!

still my mood hasnt got any better. i thought it would, i feel really down. i dont want to be on my own. i dont want to speak either

I vanished again...sorry guys...hope you're all doing ok...

As for me...

I dared to think that things were going well with my life...that maybe I would get better.

But I was wrong.

And something that, on Tuesday, was an achievement is now very, very dangerous for me.

So I'll curl up on a bed, ask somebody to tie me down, and not let me out until all of this is over...

Lucy: x_O I know how that feels, not pleasant, is it? *Hugs*

Gils: Can't you just show him your posts here on RYL? Send an email, or something? Tell him without physically speaking?

Hannah: XD. The spaciness passed alright, but it's back again, ugh x_x. I seem to be going back to when I was getting spacy and trying to fight the void on a daily basis

*Hugs Secrets*

Sorcha: I'm glad you're feeling better <3

Kahlia: Gah D: bleh *hugs*

Ratchet: He's a ****ing prick. He's nothing more than a stupid asshole who gets off on making himself look like he's all at and making others look like complete retards. Ugh. I hate the **** too. He's not worth our thoughts, but I know it can be easier said than done to get him out of our heads

*Hugs anyone she missed*

I've tried that but the posts on here dont make much sense to him, and i just cant seem to write an email with everything in it! he said he's phone at half past 8 and he still hasnt!! maybe he's not going to phone?

my mood is lifting.. i put up a thread for people to share a song that could lift a spirit.. in general chat.. i had felt really down, and let down in both worlds by not been able to communicate properly.. things are very crapy at home in my real world.. my mum is ill and needs 24hour more or less care, this last two years.. i look after full time, and over this last 12weeks she has been unwell and needing a lot of care, i very rearly get away/do what i want and that can go on for weeks.. i love her and she has a fantastic way in coping with her illness, its been nothing but doctors, nurses hospitals.. and it can wear a person down.. i promised when she gets stronger that we will go on hoilday.. to the Algarve.. a resort and she can relax and enjoy, but she keeps getn sick... i feel insecure.. were i can not talk about when i feel depressed or my s/h .. it's all very much secret in my world.. im afraid id lose the abilty to care for her if i looked for help for me.. and i have every right to feel sceard about that, as she relies on me big time to help her, and i would never want her to be let down or hurt... another nite in here please... im not evenover 60 percent. (goes back to the room for 24hr silence.. just a bed and a window.. no people)

Blaaaah I've crashed again.

I can't help feeling like a giant whore, and I hate it. I hate myself for it

I can feel my mood starting to decline.
My mood swings are being so crazy!
I hate this!
I've been so low, and then I perked up for a few days, and now I'm going down again...

What the hell is wrong with me!?

I have to be perked up for tomorrow, as I have a date, which is kinda cool.
I haven't dated anyone since... February, I think, so it's nice to feel wanted.
I really hope my allergies are toned down majorly by then, because,
of course, we're going for a walk in the park. XP
A walk in the park plus a red, runny nose = not attractive at all.

GODDAMN! I busted my lip again!!
Frickin spring....

*hugs Ashley* good luck with the date, I hope it goes well

*hugs Lucy* that sound real tough and I just wanted to offer my support

*hugs Gils* hiya, am so glad your job is going well, and so sorry to hear you're struggling, did you manage to tell him?

*hugs Vicki* I'm glad you were feeling better for a bit, hold onto that and know you can do it again and hopefully it'll last longer next time, each moment of feeling a bit better is a step forward that cannot be taken away.

*hugs secrets* get those exams done hun, if you possibly can, hope things get sorted out with your boyfriend.

*hugs kat* he sounds foul, you're well rid of him, but I know it's hard

*hugs Todlich* glad it passed but sorry to hear it's becoming more frequent. I'm sure you're not a whore.

Had a good day with my dad yesterday, glad the waterproofs held out :) Have a job application to finish today, which is stressing me out, but once I've sent it i'll be fine. Dancing tonight - yay

*hugs everyone else dropping by or hiding in the corners*

I haven't really even tried to quit smoking yet. I don't think it's going to happen.
Feeling really crappy today. I feel like I must be too lazy and that it's my fault I don't have a job.

*offers hugs to all*

I broke my wrist so I'll be a little slow responding to posts but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you all.

Forgotten again.
Wow.

*hugs Rainbow* Im really glad your jobs going well. Try not to worry too much. I often find a letter written helps, things scribbled out and all.

*hugs Eclectic*a* I have no advice though I guess a hug would help.

*hugs Lucy* I understand what it's like to physically care for someone, is there anyone who could allow you an hour off. I know its hard to ask for but sometimes it'll make caring that bit easier.

*hugs Strawberry.Bananas* Sometimes other things take over, we're always here so dont worry about not being around. In fact Im the worst for disappearing

*hugs Damnation* I hope things have started to improve.

*hugs Sorcha*Loupvoix* Allergies suck, however have fun on your date. Just make sure you've taken anti-allergy stuff or have some on you.

*hugs wildly insane* thanks for the hugs. Sounds like you had a lovely day, I hope today's lovely too.

*hugs Zowie* take things slowly, maybe try to reduce the amount you smoke. Giving up smokin is hard.

*hugs Kahila* A broken wrist isn't fun! Hope it heals soon.

*hugs MammaMia* I'd wondered where you'd gone. You're one of the few who look familiar.

I'm still at home. Feeling crap tody but hey. Sometimes I want to lie down and let it overtake.

*leaves some ice cream in the fridge*

Hope u guys r all ok...i'm busy and flat out as usual :-( got exams coming up soon...not looking fwd to them as i don't know anything atm..ugh..anyways *waves* enjoy ur day there xx