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wildly insane 17-01-2009 02:19 AM

Hey there, has everybody got everything they need? are the duvets and tea well distributed?

*hugs Auburn Shadow* stay strong hun, you can do it

*hugs Louise and Kuwairo, Kat, Jet, Zowie and Secrets*

*hugs Ravynsoul* hope things get better soon, a cup of Jasmine tea is at the ready

*hugs Dayna* hope you can have a good weekend and not worry too much about monday

*hugs Mary Anne* am so glad you had a good night

*hugs Mamma Mia* glad everything's sorted with your cousin, I hope you had a good night

*makes sure Ileana is tucked into a nice thick duvet*

I think I did okay today, but I have to be awake again in less than six hours which is not a good start, am going to London for the day as I'm going to see my friend in a pantomime :-D

*hugs all, sleep well*

MammaMia 17-01-2009 03:08 AM

I did have a good night actually.

Am watching See Hear at the moment online, I love it, it's a programme mainly for deaf people as it's signed but people who are hearing can watch it but wouldn't get the same emotion & enjoyment off it I think :P Now I'm not fully deaf, but do have moderate hearing loss so I love it because I have the best of both worlds for this :P

Ileana 17-01-2009 05:11 AM

I am so full of rage right now.
So, so, so angry I'm just on the verge of throwing it all away.
Seriously, when you hate something or someone the way I do suicide is always an option because...how else can you escape what makes you miserable, what causes the rage? Unless you eradicate that very thing...but I can't do that so it comes down to this: It or Me.

I'm obviously not alright and the worst part is that many people where I am will claim they understand but they really don't understand and the implication that they do is sometimes offensive and disrespectful. No one is in my shoes but myself. **** it.

Auburn Shadow 17-01-2009 07:22 AM

*hugs everyone*

Got about 2 hours sleep last night. I hate this not being able to sleep. Tried nytol last night as well, but it did absolutely nothing. I dunno. Guess I probably ought to talk to the docs about it at some point, cause I have absolutely no energy to do anything anymore. *sigh* I just wish things would go back to normal sometime soon.

Supposed to be going on a walk with a few friends on Sunday, but I think, well if I don't get more sleep before then, I'm going to have to cancel because I just won't have the energy to be able to actually walk anywhere properly, and I love walking so I really don't want to have to do that. *sigh*

Damnation. 17-01-2009 07:47 AM

Lol. I'm sitting here, feeling tearful, and can't quite manage to cry. I had an idea to try and cut down on my SI, and I don't know if I can be ****ing bothered any more. Bleh. And it fails how I'm listening to a favourite song of mine, and thinking 'oh hey, those lyrics seem kinda fitting' x_o

I pray for something,
A quick demise,
Something, substitute a restless mind,
Call the doctors,
Call the gods,
You can't call anyone,
To save me now

wildly insane 17-01-2009 08:26 AM

Hey Hana, I love walking too, If you can at all I'd go on the walk because it might give you that energy boost that you need to sleep - I know that sounds bizarre but it might work *hugs* hope you get some sleep though so you do feel a bit better.

*hugs Dayna* stay strong hun *offers another hug*

*hugs Ileana* hope the rage goes, think of the people that care, and don't forget you can always talk to the people who do understand and try and forget those that don't.

*hugs Mamma Mia* glad you had a good night :)

*hugs everybody who pops in* am off to London :)

Auburn Shadow 17-01-2009 08:30 AM

Yeah, I think I get what you mean, it could just work. Looking at the weather forecast for Sunday though, it looks like we probably won't be going anyways, but I guess we'll just have to see what the day brings. *hugs* have a good time in London!

*hugs Dayna* stay strong sweetie. x

*hugs everyone else*

Snuffles 17-01-2009 08:41 AM

*hugs Dayna* I've been reading all the updates with housing shiz.Hope it works out. It's just bullshit sometimes hey.

I'm really starting to wonder if we've done something wrong to Mik?? She's up here now getting all her kitchen stuff (and leaving us with nothing pretty much, but we should be getting out own **** but like we can do that when all our money is going to food FFS.) My bf walked out there to get his dinner and said hello, how are you (trying to be civil), and she full on ignored him. It wouldn't have been that she didn't hear him coz I heard from the bedroom. She's there packing all her stuff huffing and puffing away but for god's sake.. what the hell have we done???

The night before we left to go home she left a note on the door saying hope you have a good time blah blah. We had minimal contact throughout the holiday cept for the odd text. She sent me a Text on Xmas day saying Merry Xmas and all that shiz. I didn't send anyone msgs that day hey. I was more worried about how I would cope not about sending msgs to people (sorry if that sounds selfish). Then we get home, and I for one haven't seen her since we got back (probs been 3 weeks now?). Trent has, but she has not said a single bloody word to him whereas he has tried to talk to her.

She was really bitchy and moody when we got back and we didn't find out why till a week later (that the house is going back on the market) but other then that... dunno what else?? I don't know what the hell is her problem. And I feel sad because coz of her, I have hardly any contact with Chris now. We used to be so close but she's such a controlling and manipulative grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well that ended up being longer than I thought. Basically, I cannot wait to get out of here. There are two possible houses we will be ringing up about on Monday. Fingers crossed. We just have to get out of here.

realflifefaerie 17-01-2009 02:55 PM

*hugs Snuffles* Maybe you need to try and talk to her and see whats happened.

*hugs to others* sorry Im too tired to reply individually.

I feel as though I've passed the exam I took this morning, which is good however when I went into town I had a mild panic attack, there were too many people and I couldnt get out. So I came home. Im starting to stress about the next exam now.

Secrets xxx

zowie 17-01-2009 03:23 PM

Sorry, not got much time to reply to people, but thought I'd stop by and leave some hugs for everyone.
Last night was fab. We watched a horror film called Seed and then watched The Dark Knight (Love that film!!) We ordered a chinese and had a great time from 7 to 3.30 :D xxx

Eclectica 17-01-2009 05:48 PM

I hate days like these.

Waking up, not knowing mch of the night before, in a daze, not really here, not 'alive', triggered, extremely depressed... And just generally not here.

Mary Anne 17-01-2009 11:05 PM

Hi everyone,

Just read everyone's messages, sorry not got much energy, just hope everyone is safe tonight.

*leaves lots of hugs for everyone*

Odd day, went to ride Morph but he has cut himself so had to play nurse to a horse instead.

take care everyone.x.

Damnation. 17-01-2009 11:28 PM

Bleh. I've read through all the posts since my last, but don't really have much motivation to say much, I'm afraid. Sorry about that. If I pull my head out of my ass and stop feeling so damn sorry for myself, I'll check in properly later

wildly insane 18-01-2009 02:32 AM

Hey Zowie glad you had a good night.

Ravynsoul, hope you're okay, a hug is ready for when you next check in.

Hana, good luck getting out for a walk tomorrow, sometimes I like going out when the weather's bad, it makes me feel more alive, but I also know that sometimes it's the last thing in the world you want to do.

*hugs* Snuggles good luck with everything

Secrets - well done with the exam, keep going, a little at a time and you'll be surprised at what you manage to do *hugs*

*leaves lots of hugs for Katricia*

Mary Anne - sometimes just caring for your horse is as good as riding, sorry to hear about the cut though, hope it's not bad and he gets better soon. My mum is an angel because my horse has really bad mud fever at the moment - her legs are really swollen so mum is spending hours trying to clear it up, bless them. I want to go and visit but I don't know when I next can.

*hugs Dayna* hope things get better.

I've just worked out I've spent about 50 going to visit a friend who I saw for about 2 hours plus 2 hours on a stage dressed as a jester and it was really great to catch up with him, but it's a lot of money. Unfortunately I missed the bus home so had to pay out a full ticket in order to catch the next one, so am now feeling poor. Must find a job.... Plus I ate WAY too much today so am feeling like a lump of lard, must do better tomorrow...

*hugs to everyone and sending out positive, strengthening vibes to everyone that needs a little lift.

am off to bed again - settles down with mug of cocoa and a hot water bottle - tis really foul out tonight :snoozle:

ravynsoul 18-01-2009 03:10 AM

*sends lots of hugs and cuddles and gratefully accepts the ones that were offered*

sorry no words tonite; feeling out of it, drained, and low.

Damnation. 18-01-2009 03:37 AM

*Hugs Ravyn tightly* Hope you feel better soon.

Nighty night, Wildly, hope you sleep okay

Snuffles 18-01-2009 03:38 AM

*cuddles Secret* Glad you felt ok about the first exam. Sorry to hear about the panic attacks, they are a bitch sometimes hey. Good luck with ur next one. How many more do you have left? Just take it one a time!

Glad you had a great night Zowie :-D That's excellent. hope it keeps up for you :D

Kat, I hope your doing ok and hope your feeling better *cuddles you tightly*

And Dayna as well, hope your doing better. *cuddles muchly*

Hope your horse recovers quick from the cut Mary Anna =)

*hugs wildly* I despise money, it really gives you the pits sometimes hey. tomorrow i have to get new kitchen stuff and food for a week and a half, and I can only spend $100. Gah.. that will be fun. Take care of yourself..

Ravyn, hope your ok? *cuddles*

I'm ok.. actually, I lie. I'm not ok. I'm struggling really bad with ana thoughts. I fear I'm relapsing >_<

ravynsoul 18-01-2009 03:46 AM

Dayna *hugs back* thank you. How are you doing?

Katie *cuddles back* i'm struggling, but i'll make it through... sorry to hear that you've been struggling too. *hugs* I hope you can stop it before you relapse...

Snuffles 18-01-2009 03:52 AM

Thanks Ravyn.. *hugs* I think we will both make it through ;) I'll get there.. I think I can stop it.. Not sure.. But I will be ringing my counsellor in the next few weeks.. hopefully she's off her leave lol.

ravynsoul 18-01-2009 03:54 AM

*hugs back* i hope she's off her leave too; good for you for ringing her.

Night all; *leaves hugs*

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