bye byes <3

I'm off to bed. The alarm clock goes off an hour early so i can be ready for the construction crew that is coming to fix our bathroom ceiling.
Oh, and we only have one bathroom.

O.o 's only 9 there eh?
lol

night =)

Just wanted to drop some huge *hugs* off for everyone!

Don;t know what to do with myself, feeling suicidal. Would OD if I was in charge of my meds.

Im glad you arent in charge of the Zowie hun...
I know how awful it feels....but we'd hate for you to do anything that will hurt you :(

alexxxxxx <3
hows you?

well i'm officially back from weekend working.. blah. glad i dont have to do anything for a while but annoyed at myself again - ended up scratching my arm on 2 occasions, no lasting marks (as long as the most recent goes soon which i think it will) but this now brings it up to 3 times in the last couple of weeks :( i think i know i'd feel better if i did cut properly but i dont want to start it off again and i dont need it enough, i just want it. *sigh* oddly enough, the rest of me seems ok and calm enough. *hugs to all*

*just checkin in*

Bad so bad right now its really bad...but why cant I do it? I want to and need to but i cant. Hate myself, all alone they all hate me. Sorry guys i am no use.

Awww Marc
*hugs*

I wish it was real...I need someone i can open up to someone i can say help to, my mind keeps screaming to ask for help (from certain friends) but i wont...i dont want to bother one, one doesnt care and they all hate me behind my back.

well I know you don't know me...
but I'll listen if ya need to talk.

Too messed up, dont knwo the words to type need to talk...prompt. So sorry hoping i will be happy soon. But dont want to ride in car with friend who talks about me badly when i am not there...she thinks about me badly too.

Thank you for thiking kindly, I just hope your not laghing at me really.

*not laughing... is just concerned about you*

Sorry struggling with what is true and what isnt, am scared and want the thinking to stop. Am sorry i should stop posting and come back when i am in a better frame

*cuddles everyone*

*pounces on jess*

*hides in the corner*

You ok Ku?

you ok over there Ku? *hugs*

*hugs everyone*

*hugs Hana*

hi all *leaves hugs and snuggle blankets*

*rocks n cradles arm*

*glomps heather*

*cuddles all* what's up lovies?

di... what happened!

erm...*shakes head*
sorry

*jumps up and down*
Yay!!! Sugar is back from getting spayed!!!! :-)

aww bless :)

yay! *hugs manda back*

I keep passing out. It's really getting to me at the moment, but got doctors soon, so hopefully I can sort it... *sigh* stupid body.

*hugz ku and diamond*

Sup Ku, sweetie?

why sorry ku?

yay! now you get to watch her stagger about from the anasthetic :P it's so cute!

i got no blades now...need one.
sorry cos i keep dumping my crap on people, you dont need it

i screwed up again :( my ex husband is really messing with my head

she ain't even got energy to do that much... been laying down ever since she got home.

awww bless!

Ku, you post as much as you need to. Don't talk y0ourself our of posting!

Di, what's ur ex doing?

saying he wants to come back, i am so confused he has been gone for nearly a year. i really messed my arm up

*hugs di*
already have...i'll be ok. just gonna stay here for a bit, you're all lovely

Doyou want him to come back?

*cuddles ku* keep posting honey... please?

my head says im not allowed.
cos i proved i dont deserve.

thanks ku thanks jess
i really don't know i just wana make it all go away right now

everyone deserves to be heard ku xx

By feeling that you don't deserve to be heard, shows that you need to be heard and you need support. that's what we're ehre for. *cuddles*

*cuddles di* honey, maybe go for a walk and try to clear your head/

thank you...
but i ****ed up that right when i walked away from someone who needed help.
sounds like a good idea di. take care though yeah? look after your arm now too xx

it's 11.30 here to late to go out the kids are in bed, i will go now i am just talking rubbish anyway. thank you for your support jess *hugs*

ty ku i will do xx

argh, really? thought it was earlier than that! (so much for the early night)
you're not talking rubbish, not at all
and good :)

Ku, when you're in need of help yourself, you're not expected to be there for everyone else. *cuddles*

*sighs* I agree with Jess but...
what about people like me who never stop needing help?
I am one big needy pathetic excuse for a human being.

maybe.
i pretty much ruined the best friendship i have though.
she says it's ok, i didn't upset her or anything.
but cos i walked away, i messed up. i dunno how to get back on track.
she needed me more than i needed her, really.
and now? now i just wish i had my damn blade.
sorry, i'm moaning, i haven't even asked how you are
*cuddles*

edit: bound by thoughts (really sorry i forgot your name-heads mush) i think the same about myself...it doesn't make it true *hugs*

Amanda, you know that you will eventually get past this. It's amazing and 'unblelivable' but you WILL get past this.

*cuddles Ku* your friend sounds like she understands why you walked away. You need to be okay before you can help someone else be okay. Or even in just a better frame of mind at least!