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MammaMia 10-04-2009 11:28 PM

I wish I was dead.
This peroid pain is pure agony.

Emo 11-04-2009 12:34 AM

struggling tonight ..flashbacks ...not coping ...:cry

[Fog] 11-04-2009 12:35 AM

*Hugs all round*
*Gives hot water bottle and a cup of tea to Helen*

I told my mum about my mh stuff today... It actually went really well. I told her about the voices and cutting and everything, can't believe I managed to do it now it all just kinda came tumbling out!

wildly insane 11-04-2009 12:52 AM

Hey congratulations Hannah, that's excellent *hugs*

Thanks Jem, am doing okay actually yeah 2 weeks free today :) hope things get better for you soon *cuddles back*

*hugs Gil* oh I'm so glad, it sounds ok :)

*hugs Arwen* you do not fail hun, hope you have a nice evening with your friends

*hugs Serenity* is there any way we can help?

*hugs Michaella* congratulations for not slipping keep going :)

*cuddles Helen gently* don't say that

Leaves chocolate eggs for everybody, hope that your all doing okay, loadsa hugs :)

Damnation. 11-04-2009 01:45 AM


It is difficult enough to contend with my own mind and not go void again, so I don't need ****ers coming along, harrassing me with stupidly pointless IMs every few ****ing minutes

MammaMia 11-04-2009 07:40 PM


Originally Posted by banana89 (Post 1544012)
*Hugs all round*
*Gives hot water bottle and a cup of tea to Helen*

I told my mum about my mh stuff today... It actually went really well. I told her about the voices and cutting and everything, can't believe I managed to do it now it all just kinda came tumbling out!

So so so proud of you <3

~*Rainbow*~ 11-04-2009 07:41 PM

*checks In*

Well it looks as though i was wrong!!!!!!!!!!! Its over!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ended it becasue i coudlnt be with a guy who believes my friends over me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate myself i wanna die!!!!!!!!1 I jsut want to drink myself in to the next life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont want to cope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to die again


MammaMia 11-04-2009 07:47 PM


Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1544039)
*cuddles Helen gently* don't say that

*cuddles back* Thanks Han, but it's true :(

[Fog] 11-04-2009 08:25 PM

*Hugs Helen* Thanks, I'm so pleased that I finally managed to do it!! Got to go back to the docs to sort out my meds... mum said she reckons my ADs haven't been working cos I didn't tell the docs all of the stuff about voices, ocd etc. Stoopid me. I feel kinda awkward about it now but her and dad are being really nice. Just SIed so a bit pissed off with myself but there we go, it's shut up the Voice for a while!!

Oh Rainbow I'm so sorry to hear that *Cuddles gently* Try and hang on in there sweetie. Thinking of you

Hope everyone is ok xxx

zowie 11-04-2009 11:36 PM

*Offers Helen a hot water bottle* Hope the period pains have eased up a bit today.

*Hugs Serenity* How are you feeling now hun?

Thank you Hana. I just feel pretty **** coz I had a little slip up the other day. I didn't deserve to hurt, I was angry at other people.

*Offers hugs to Dayna (If she wants them)*

Gil - Sorry things turned out that way. I have also lost my boyfriend and friends recently for similar reasons. I know how hard it is, but stay strong! You deserve so much better! *hugs*

Banana (name? Sorry, you might have already said it but I don't remember :P) - Well done for telling your mum! It's great to hear that they're being supportive!


My throat is absolutely killing me. I smoked 20 cigarettes yesterday, which is how much I was smoking before I 'quit'. I haven't smoked so much in a couple of months, it really ****ed my throat up.
I'm also still really pissed off that I slipped up the SI. It'll be five months in eight days, but I just feel like I haven't achieved anything. If I'm still slipping up this far in, surely I'm not 'free'? I mean, I've only slipped up three times in the five months. But the person most proud of me is my dad, and I don't think he'd see me as recovered if he knew I'd slipped.
I just want the cuts to heal and go away. :(

[Fog] 12-04-2009 12:16 AM

Hey zowie, my name's Hannah, I think I may have to be Hannah 2 to avoid confusion lol!

Sorry to hear you slipped up :-( I've been trying to stop but I haven't actually managed to go 24 hours yet... Urgh. Five months is very impressive, and the way I see it three times in five months is amazing. Even though you've needed it at points you obviously aren't relying on it and that's when it's a real problem. Don't beat yourself up about it, you're clearly progressing so don't let one slip up drag you back down *Hugs*

MammaMia 12-04-2009 01:08 AM

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrr

[Fog] 12-04-2009 01:09 AM

Rant away if you want Helen :-)

MammaMia 12-04-2009 01:22 AM

I can't deal with this.

[Fog] 12-04-2009 01:27 AM


Hang on in there sweetie xx

MammaMia 12-04-2009 01:45 AM

Don't want to hang in here anymore. But hey everyone thinks I'll just get over it (Y)

wildly insane 12-04-2009 01:49 AM

*hugs Gil* I'm so sorry hun, please stay safe, you are worth so much more than the way you've been treated, my PM box is open if you want it.

*hugs Helen* maybe tomorrow you'll be glad you're not, there is always hope, we're here to listen if you want to chat.

*hugs Hannah* Am so impressed that you've managed to tell your parents, and I hope the ADs start working soon.

*hugs Arwen* don't feel guilty, sorry to hear about the cigarettes, I think you're dad would still be proud of you because you are so much better than you were, we're not perfect and you are trying, don't beat yourself up, keep going.

*hugs anyone else in need of one tonight*

I'm still okay, managed to sit through a family meal and my dad getting drunk and morbid, he really doesn't seem to enjoy anything any more which is really sad.

Auburn Shadow 12-04-2009 02:01 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm ****ed. Cut, purged, and managed to piss the one person I really need to talk to off, all in the space of about 5 minutes. Fantastic, no?

I just want to press self destruct right now.

Long*Past 12-04-2009 08:11 AM

Hey everyone.
*offers hugs to everyone*
Sorry it's not more.
You all know I'm here for ya.

Sorry I've been away a couple days too.
I spent most of my weekend out at Riley's house, and I got away from it all. I was allowed to slip into my fantasy world where things suck sometimes, but at least I know it's not real.
Ugh. I noticed also, that I'm having such trouble writing at the moment, because I'm trying to write a happy scene... and it's just not where I am, and thus not where my character is... It scares me slightly that my fictional character has taken on my emotions.

Something is wrong with my knee... I hope it isn't bad because it hurts like a biatch right now, and I not only have music festival this week... in like a month, I have cheerleading tryouts... I mean... I don't think I'm going to make it, just because I know I'm not pretty and thin and petite enough for it... but I'm still going to try...

It's really hard to resist the urge to cut right now...
It's seriously like, as soon as I walk into my house, all this stress that I got to put away for the last three days just comes sweeping down over me like a wave.
I'm so tired... And I have math homework...

zowie 12-04-2009 01:32 PM

Hello Hannah 2 :) My name's Arwen. Thank you, a feel a little less crap about the slip up now *hugs back*

*Hugs Helen* Feeling any better today sweets?

Thanks Hana *hugs* It actually does make me feel better to remind myself that nobody's perfect. These things do happen I guess, I just need to pick myself up and keep going (Y)

*Hugs Auburn* (I've forgotten your name again :P I have a feeling your yet another Hannah, but I might be wrong!) Don't beat yourself up honey, like I just said, these things happen. Keep fighting!

*Hugs Ashley* Take care of yourself. And don't fret too much about the cheerleading tryouts, I'm sure you're beautiful :)

Going for pizza today :D

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