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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 06-01-2011 09:59 PM

I speak to her everyday, albeit not on the phone. But she's away at her Aunt's this week. Haven't really spoken to her, only a few texts each day. So it'll be immense to speak to her properly. Plus she hasn't phoned since Christmas Eve lol =) I hope I sleep well too. Thank you Mark.

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 10:37 PM

-hugs mark and nicole back- I'm fine. How are you, Mark? Nicole, sorry to hear about not having any food...I can relate. My husband and I were in the same boat. We were able to go shopping today and stock up on some food because we got our food stamps. Hopefully it will be enough to last us the whole month.

-hugs everyone who can accept them and waves to those that can't-

Sorry about my disappearance earlier. My internet was acting up. And then we had to go shopping..

FlyingNy 06-01-2011 10:42 PM

*Hugs all*

Hello :) I'm in a good mood and this worries me as I've had pretty much the worst day in a long time and now I'm scared of crashing... and that something else is going to go wrong. Still, let's make the best of this while it lasts.

nicole94 06-01-2011 10:42 PM

*Hugs Helen and Kitty*
I hope you sleep well Helen, and it's cool that you're gonna get to speak to your bestie properly :)
We have food now, finally :) lol.

Doikers 06-01-2011 10:46 PM

I'm a bit lonely Kitty :S Getting tired too , Just took my night time Meds . *Hugs*

*Hugs Lia* I'm sorry you're having a bad day but glad you feel so chipper :)

*Hugs Nicole* What are you going to eat ?

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 10:47 PM

-hugs lia- That's good that you are in a good mood. Hopefully you won't crash later, though. That wouldn't be good...

-hugs nicole again- Glad you have food now, too.

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 10:48 PM

I'd hang out with you if I could, Mark, so you wouldn't be so lonely.. -hugs-

nicole94 06-01-2011 10:49 PM

*Hugs Mark* I had a chicken sandwich :)
*Hugs Lia* glad that you're feeling good tonight, if you feel like you're crashing, remember to just be immature, and maybe make a sandwich :P lol

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 11:04 PM

Tis a wee bit quiet..

Doikers 06-01-2011 11:06 PM

*Hugs Kitty* Thanks hun :)

*Night time hugs my wardies*


PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 11:12 PM

Night night mark sleep tight -night time hugs-

FlyingNy 06-01-2011 11:13 PM

Night night Mark, sleep well :)

*Hugs Kitty and Nicole*

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 11:24 PM

-hugs lia- What time is it where you are, Lia? It's only almost 2:30 pm here and I am bored. Lol. I hate being bored. I read something about how people who have BPD and are bored constantly look for things to do or something along those lines. My husband likes to tell me "boredom is a state of mind". I get so angry at him when he says that.

SparkleKitten 06-01-2011 11:28 PM

I feel so strange. My head feels funny. Bleh.

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 11:43 PM

-hugs sarah- why does your head feel funny, hun?

FlyingNy 06-01-2011 11:54 PM

*Hugs Sarah* Are you ill dear?

*Hugs Kitty* It's almost 11.00. Time for bed in the not too far future. How are you this evening other than bored (well, night for me, afternoon for you, so I'm not completely sure where evening came from).

PsychoKitty2010 06-01-2011 11:59 PM

-hugs lia- Evening is a nice in-between of night and afternoon. And I'm fine.. How are you?

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:04 AM

Just a bit spaced out, feels like nothing is real. Like being in a dream. Sorta like that. *cuddles Kitty and Lia*

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:05 AM

I think I am going to go watch a movie...I will be back later.. -hugs ward-

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:10 AM

-sighs- nevermind..I'm back..

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:19 AM

What happened lovely?

Kahlia1981 07-01-2011 12:24 AM

*huggles all*

sorry i haven't been around. not been doing too well.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering - suicide
had set a date for my suicide plan .... the date came and as i was preparing myself to go ahead i found myself unable to do it. it scares me in some ways that i came that close. i know exactly why i was unable to, and if that "barrier" was removed...
trying to work out what to do. haven't told anyone irl yet. don't want to upset/hurt them. things just getting a little out of control. have a psych doc appointment on the 19th and a gp appointment on tues. think i'll have to talk to the gp about it but don't really want to. am scared they will want to send me ip and i really don't want/don't think i can handle going ip. i know it's stupid and i should be putting my life first and thinking about what effect it can have on other people but the hospital scares the life out of me...

sorry. :-(

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:24 AM

Nothing happened. I'm just in one of my off moods today. I go through periods like this where I am extremely bored. I constantly look for something to do but nothing sounds good. Then when I decide on something to do I change my mind because either it's not really what I want to do or my husband won't do it with me (i.e. play games, watch movies, etc.) and I lose interest. When I get like this I often want to find something to do with someone else so I don't have to do it alone...

-sighs- I wish I could just go to sleep and stay that way forever..

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:27 AM

-hugs kahlia if ok- I'm glad you weren't able to go through with the plans. You should definitely talk to either your psych doc and/or gp about it. They would want to help you.

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:28 AM

Khalia hun, I'm here if you ever need to talk *cuddles tightly*

Poor Kitty, I still want you to wake up so we can still talk *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:42 AM

School starts again on Monday, and I'm extremely worried about it. I'm worried that my financial aid might not come in on time because of the fact that I had to medically withdraw from last semester, so I did not meet the credit requirements of financial aid. I am worried that I will not be able to do it. If I don't go to school, I will no longer have a counselor or an MD. I can't go get a counselor or MD elsewhere because I can't afford it and do not have health insurance. My biological mom has mental illnesses as well. She does not work. She has never been able to hold a job. I have never been able to hold a job, either. I'd like to say that I will not turn out like her, but, what's to say I won't? What if I can't do it? I don't even know how I am going to be able to focus on my school work with my issues with dissociating so much. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know what I can or cannot do. And this scares the crap out of me.

I hope my financial aid check comes in, soon. I have signed up for direct deposit, so as soon as my tuition is paid, the rest of my financial aid money should be deposited into my bank account automatically (provided there are no problems with it). But I need to buy another home pregnancy test. I have scheduled an appointment for a free one at a clinic out of town, but that appointment isn't until next Thursday at noon. I would like a home pregnancy test first, though. Now my cycle is late, and the test would give me better results. And if it is positive, I can tell them I took a home pregnancy test and it was positive.

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:46 AM

*cuddles Kitty* I wish I could help more :( I'm here for you though, no matter what happens

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 12:50 AM

-snuggles sarah- thanks hun. Sorry for complaining.

PoisonedApple 07-01-2011 12:50 AM

you said you had FS come in earlier right, Kitty? (Assuming I'm thinking of the right person) In your state do you have a specific case worker or a "unit" that handles the caseload?

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:55 AM

You can talk all you like here, noone minds lovely :) *cuddles*

So achy, buying new trainers tomorrow to see if I can make my back feel better

FlyingNy 07-01-2011 12:55 AM

*Hugs Kitty Sarah and Kahlia*

Sarah, perhaps you're tired. I get like that when I'm really tired. I disoconncect from everything but it's different to disassosiation because I'm still me, I know what I'm doing and I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't normally do, but I just don't feel like I'm doing the things or speaking the words if that makes sense...?

I'm sorry you're struggling so much Kahlia. I wish there was something I could do, but I'm very glad you didn't go through with you're plan. I know how you feel about being scared too, I came so close once and it scared me. And about not wanting to upset people,it's part of the reason I keep so to myself. My friends always tell me they'd rather know though,and I guess they're right. A pysch or something would be used to this sort of thing.

Kitty, at least school will give you something to do, get you out of your home. I love school, it keeps me sane.

*Hugs Crimson* Sorry, didn't spot you there. How might you be?

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 12:58 AM

Sounds about right Lia, but I've only been up 12h, I shouldn't be tired... Strange.

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 01:01 AM

Crimson, yes my husband and I receive food stamps. Basically it's just the DSHS system that controls it. My husband does have a caseworker, but she is there mainly because he is receiving cash benefits from the state as well. He was receiving food stamps first, though, and he didn't initially have a designated caseworker, I believe.

Lia, school stresses me out to the max. I am really socially awkward, and feel less of a human when I'm around a bunch of people. Then there's the stress of getting homework done, which is more of a problem now than it used to be, due to the dissociation issues. School is far from my friend.

-goes to retrieve her big stuffed dolphin and lays it in the middle of the day room floor and snuggles up with it-

PoisonedApple 07-01-2011 01:06 AM

I's ok Lia. Fighting to ignore the headache I've got... but that's about it.

Kitty, the reason I ask is, if it's the same as up here if you qualify for FS or TANF you should qualify for Medicaid as well... Has the caseworker given a reason if they won't qualify you? The amount in your bank shouldn't bar you from it if they already know it's to pay your bills (which I assume they do because of the other assistance you are on)...

MammaMia 07-01-2011 01:16 AM

I'm crying my eyes out lol :'(

*curls up*

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 01:21 AM

No, Crimson, it is not the same up here. According to their rules, you have to be pregnant, a senior citizen, or on social security disability in order to get medical. They are very strict on their rules. I could say something else but I won't because I don't want to offend anyone..

SparkleKitten 07-01-2011 01:38 AM

*cuddles ward* I'm off to go do my injection and sleep. Night xx

Cazki 07-01-2011 01:46 AM

Hey im back, i havent been here for a few days. *Curls up in the corner* im lonely :( and not feeling a 100%.

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 01:47 AM

Night night sarah -hugs-

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 01:48 AM

-sits with ian- Sorry you are lonely. Could you go see a friend or something to feel less lonely?

Cazki 07-01-2011 01:55 AM

Thanks Kitty :) *Hugs Kitty* I was out with a friend earlier but i only have one friend. How are you?

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 02:05 AM

You have one more friend than I do. -hugs ian- I'm fine. And bored.

misskitty112 07-01-2011 02:23 AM

*hugs ward*

MammaMia 07-01-2011 02:24 AM

Invisible, wow. Just wanted someone to care & a hug.

*hugs Felicia, Kitty and Ian*

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 02:27 AM

Helen you aren't invisible. But when you said "Crying my eyes out", you also said "lol", which confused me, and possibly confused others. -hug-

-hugs felicia- How you be?

Going to disappear for a bit. I will return.

MammaMia 07-01-2011 02:42 AM

*hugs Kitty back*

risenfromperdition 07-01-2011 02:49 AM

*leaves hugs for anyone who wants and waves at everyone else*

misskitty112 07-01-2011 03:21 AM

I feel like I'm going to burst into tears for no reason.

PsychoKitty2010 07-01-2011 03:31 AM

What's going on, Helen? Why are you crying? -offers protective teddy-

What's wrong, Felicia? -offers protective teddy- -sits next to helen and felicia-

Kahlia1981 07-01-2011 04:17 AM

is it normal to feel so terrified of the hospital an ip system that you don't want to tell anyone what is really going on or how close you came. the psych part of the hospital here has killed so many people and i don't want to be one of the casulaties - and they have tried to kill me before .. i'm terrified of going in there and it's making me not want to talk to anyone. i have so much on my plate with uni and other stuff and i don't want to go there but i'm scared that they will send me there ... i'm so confused. what can i do? i just want to break down and cry or run away. i just don't know anymore. i'm so sorry, i'm such a bad wardie. i don't deserve help. i'm just a waste of space and i'm putting all my troubles onto everyone else.

i can't even rejoice in my good stuff like getting a hd on my subject from the last study period at uni. nothing seems to touch me anymore. i keep feeling like it would be better for everyone if i wasn't here.

i'm just so sorry. i just would love to cry and curl up in a corner and never be seen again., :crying:

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