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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 09:11 PM

I know I'm in Alaska right now... Figured London was as good a place as any to look into for my job field though lol

*offers a plushie to the silent but present Lia*

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 09:13 PM

Because last night, as I tried to sleep, I felt like I was breaking. I couldn't sleep and it was like I was being torn apart right there and then. I wanted to scream, but obvioulsy it was 3am, that was out of the question. And I couldn't do anything. All I could do was lie there and feel the emotion. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I thought I was going to completely crack.

*Take plushie* Thanks Crimson :)

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 09:18 PM

-hugs and squishes lia-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 09:20 PM

*Squishes Kitty back*

Doikers 04-01-2011 09:20 PM

Ohhh Crimson if you're doing the UK come to south Wales , There are no jobs but I could show you around locally then we could all decamp for fish and chips guvnor :P Lets be specifically british and do that! I have to warn you though , you move here , you learn rugby Union rules :) It's not so hard I did it :P

Doikers 04-01-2011 09:22 PM

*Hugs Lia Tons* I hate that emotion and it's like my most frequent one:( I understand what you feel , So umm If you want to talk Mark is here :)

nicole94 04-01-2011 09:28 PM

*Curls up*

Doikers 04-01-2011 09:33 PM

*squishes Nicole* you okay hun?

Doikers 04-01-2011 09:47 PM

Trigger warning warning

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Very Triggering please only lok if you are safe guys
I went into today know it was Drink or cut , One or the other , but I HAD to do one , Now I find myself not exactly sobe and triggered. I am not safe . I want to Slash at my arms over and over again , why won't this alcohol numb me , I feel guilty enough for drinking it . **** ! I am curious as to what will happen when I go into my room that has the tools . I am sick , sorry

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 09:48 PM

rofl... after he thought for a bit and looked around...

Know what? Maybe we should get this place we were looking at, then after it's paid start paying off a home in London, then just move.
*cuddles all needing them*

and Mark of course I would at least stop over and visit!

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 09:52 PM

-snuggles mark tight- I wish I could help. I'm sorry..

Doikers 04-01-2011 09:53 PM

Oh I would love to meet you , Which I'm pretty sure is not likley but not impossible to happen Crimson :) we can hope yeah?:)

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 09:56 PM

*Hugs Mark hard* Could you please just not go into the room? If it's your bedroom, sleep in the bath. It's rather comfy actually.

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:00 PM

:) Lia I've never slept in my bath , I could but it's cold I'd need a blanket , which of course is in My room . I'm thinking if I just do it and get it done it won't pray on my mind , this is RIDICULOUS !! **** I'm a grown man why the hell won't it leave me alone!!?

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 10:04 PM

But think how much better you'll feel about yourself if you wake up in the morning having resisted the urges rather than given into them. I'm fighting them too. Mood swings galore this evening. You're not alone.

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 10:05 PM

*cuddles Mark and holds his hands* sometimes things just aren't that easy hun. Though if you have a jacket or sweater that isn't in the bedroom Lia's idea could work fine. and yeah we can hope :) and eventually i plan to make vacations a yearly thing or traveling the world after i retire... so even if i never move theres still possibilities :)

shadowedsoul 04-01-2011 10:06 PM

hugs mark and lia. thanks guys your comments were really nice and made me smile thanks.hugs
cuddles everbody

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 10:07 PM

-scoots herself into a dark corner- Wow. I'm stupid.

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:08 PM

Well I am surethis will dissapoint you all but I cut but I managed to keep it in control and I think This will hold me , I really hope so . I'm in no danger , medically from the cut unless it gets infected which a part of me wants , Freak that I am . But It's not deep and not bleeding so bad sorry guys :(

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 10:16 PM

Please look after your wound(s), Mark. -hugs-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 10:16 PM

*Hugs Mark* It's alright Mark. Don't be sorry. You managed to keep it under control, that's something. You're not a freak, it's the depression that does this. We all suffer with something in here.

Atm, my friend (just about the only one who has an inkling of all of this) is trying to convince me to see a doctor.

*Hugs Jill* I'm glad we made you feel better :) How are you feeling now?

*Hugs Kitty* You're not stupid. What's the matter?

*Hugs Crimson so she doesn't feel left out* :)

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:17 PM

Sorry I am so self involved

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:18 PM

Thank goodness for music , Tori amos is keeping me from trying a VERY stupid idea out

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:23 PM

*Squeezes his accupressure beads*

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 10:24 PM

I went ahead and looked at something triggering thinking I would be fine...but then ended up not. Now Amara has come to visit again...and she's giving me tons of ideas... I'm stupid for looking in the first place, I should have just skipped over it. -sighs- -hugs lia back-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 10:24 PM

You're not self involved Mark, you're always helping the rest of us out.

Kitty, any chance you can do anything to drown her out?

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:30 PM

*Hugs Lia* I love you as I do all my other ward mates you are always there for me :)
On a nice note I have been texting My only guy friends , who is as gay as the day is long but he is my friend so I don't care . I haven't seen him in ages and he might come to town just to meet me next Monday and I'm ecxited :)

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 10:31 PM

I'm trying, Lia. I am browsing that "not right" site on facebook trying to distract myself but she is getting louder. I'm still trying, though.

And mark you are not selfish you are awesome. You have helped me more than I can even say and I know I am not the only one you have helped. -hugs-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 10:32 PM

Yay, that will give you something to look forward to Mark :) I love you too, you're always supporting everyone else, even if you're feeling **** yourself. *Returns hugs*

Keep fighting Kitty *Hugs*

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:37 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Kitty*

I texted the Love of my life and am trying to get a 20 month ago Psych ward reunion going . We were thrown together in hard circumstanses and I still love these guys . I would not have survived hospital without them .

Thankyou both for having so much faith in me :D

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 10:42 PM

-hugs mark- I hope you can get the reunion going. That would be cool.

-hugs lia- I'm trying.

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 10:46 PM

That sounds nice Mark :) I know it's not the same thing, but I miss my friends from primary school. I haven't seen them in months and was thinking of arranging to meet them.

Doikers 04-01-2011 10:52 PM

You should Lia , If you are ecxited about that as I am about this :) I'm heading to bed .
Love you guys :)

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 11:00 PM

Night night mark. -hugs-

FlyingNy 04-01-2011 11:05 PM

Night night Mark *Hugs* I'm glad you have something to look forward to :)

PoisonedApple 04-01-2011 11:14 PM

*hugs Mark goodnight*

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 11:14 PM

-curls up on the couch and just stares blankly-

Wondering...why is it that when you go see the doctor and they diagnose you with a mental illness, they say something like "But knowing the diagnosis is not important."?!? Anyone else have this happen? I mean...I would like to know what the **** is wrong with me...and that starts with knowing what I am diagnosed with. Why? Oh I don't know...maybe because I have a retarded doctor and I would like to research ways to help myself because I don't want to live like this anymore. It seems like he wants me to live in this hell with the way he acts..


FlyingNy 04-01-2011 11:21 PM

*Hugs Kitty* it indeed sucks that way it is run there... But I don't think there would be a lot you could do without further healthcare, even if you did know.

SparkleKitten 04-01-2011 11:23 PM

Was so down earlier. Went tesco and bought a load of green tea to drink and calm down. I don't know whats wrong with me. Earlier I cried because I missed Rebecca so much :( Whats wrong with me?

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 11:25 PM

-hugs lia- I couldn't go to another doctor, no. But I could do my own research on google. If I am pregnant I will be able to get heath care through the state. But I have to wait until Friday to take the home pregnancy test I have if my cycle hasn't started by then. If it's positive, then I have to go in and get a pregnancy test through a clinic (luckily there is one that does them for free not too far from where I live) so that I can get documentation to get on medical.

SparkleKitten 04-01-2011 11:32 PM

*cuddles Kitty* Hope you're okay hun x

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 11:35 PM

-snuggles sarah-

PsychoKitty2010 04-01-2011 11:50 PM

Tis quiet..

PoisonedApple 05-01-2011 12:07 AM

tis very quiet now... did everyone in the uk head to bed? it is around 10 pm where mark is (in wales) now...

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 12:08 AM

Not sure. I am still here. But I have to go for a bit but I will be back.

PoisonedApple 05-01-2011 12:20 AM

:) Yeah I'm around when I'm at my desk.

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 12:29 AM

I'm back.

SparkleKitten 05-01-2011 12:44 AM

I went to extend my house in Sims 3 and make it all pretty. :)

*Cuddles Crimson and Kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 05-01-2011 12:46 AM

Nice Sarah...I used to play the sims but haven't in a long time. I wouldn't mind playing it again but I can't afford to buy it and honestly don't know where my sims game went to. lol

SparkleKitten 05-01-2011 12:59 AM

I love the Sims just for building. I once made my own virtual psych ward with a nurse and some random people, me and Rebecca and spent months playing it. It was when I first saw Rebecca, when I had a dream, and I recreated everything perfectly from my dream. I keep seeing her and I keep hearing her. And when I don't, I miss her so badly. :/

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