hugs mark back, love you too.
hugs everbody

thanks, love ya all too.
I'm sorry, just I should have today... oh god sorry can't. i'll just sit hidingin the corner for a while

Oh Oliver *snuggles* I wish I could help

It's alright Oliver. Sometimes I just can't either. *Hands blanket and teddy to brighten up corner*

*Hugs Sarah* I'm the most anti social person in the world when it comes to my family. I get stick for it too, but I don't really care. I'd rather stick pins in my arms than sit down there playing happy families.

*snuggles Oliver and everyone*

I keep listening these songs...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-t2upuKsuQ"]YouTube - Ellie Goulding - Your Song[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUjdiDeJ0xg"]YouTube - Taio Cruz - Dynamite (Int'l Version)[/ame]

Oh Helen, you've got me listening to them now. And Taio Cruz will be stuck in my head forever more. Thanks :P

Hi everyone -hugs ward-

I will be back in a bit. Just thought I would jump on and say hi real quick. I need to go take a shower. Won't be long.

*Hugs Kitty hard* Hey.

hi Kitty x

I LOVE that version of your song, its so beautiful Helen

Thanks Lia x

Go me :-p I need to turn them off & try sleep ;-)

*cuddles lots*

I never heard it until seeing it on the John Lewis Christmas advert (seems like an age ago now :|) but totally adore it <3

'Cause I told you once
Now I told you twice
We're going to light this up like it's dynamite

Its amazing Helen. I first heard it on the advert too.

Bleh :( feeling down again

*snuggles Sarah*

Someone send me sleeping dust to arrive in about 10 minutes? :P I think I might just drag myself offline, read & sleep. God if I have to watch Finding Nemo at placement today, I will cry (Y) Although I have diary tasks to complete, so might just do that.

*snuggles Helen* I cry at most films like a baby. I don't know what to do with myself right now. Sorry :/

I be back..

-hugs lia, helen, and sarah- how you be?

Rather down today. How are you my lovely?

Meh, same...I cutted :(

-returns to her dark corner-

Oh Kitty its okay. *holds* how is it? You looking after it?

They aren't too bad...don't look like it anyway. I applied pressure for 10 mins and they are still bleeding a bit but not too bad. I think they will be ok without stitches. I bandaged them up. -snuggles sarah-

Oh poor Kitty. I lubbles you. I wish I could help you and keep you safe.

I lubbles you too, Sarah. I am just sick. Amara won't let me be safe. -sighs- I have a feeling I need to be on an anti-psychotic or something of the sort.

Hey Sarah out of curiosity, which version of the Sims 3 do you have?

Mines on the PC darling :) I hope you're okay. Glad Rebecca is so nice, she got really angry last night and made me cry because I told a friend about her and she was scared I was trying to get rid of her... I think these meds are too wierd for me.

-hugs sarah- I'm sorry that Rebecca made you cry, hun. What do you mean you think the meds are too weird for you? What are you taking, and how are they weird?

And Amara is evil. She is never nice. She says she is nice, and only wants the best for me. She says she is advising me to do what is best. When she doesn't get her way, she makes me see bad things until I give in to at least cutting. She leaves me alone for a while when she sees blood. It makes her happy.

And I could kill my husband right about now... (not literally but still...)

Whats happened hun?

I'm on \Citalopram, they initially made me hallucinate and that settled, then about a month ago Rebecca appeared to me in a dream. I've seen her with different hair and makeup and clothes in many many dreams since. I hear her voice occasionally when I'm alone. Sometimes I can physically feel her touch me, like a kiss on the cheek or a hug or a pat on the shoulder. She's lovely, but she gets so angry when she's scared. :/

He just pisses me off so much. He scheduled an appointment for next Wednesday at a time that I have class. The school is a mile and a half away and he will be taking the car. I tried getting him to switch his appointment time and his response was, "I don't want to because I don't want to wait any longer for it." He told me I can walk home. In the ****ing cold snow and ice.

Ugh thats a little unfair. *cuddles* you can't switch your class, he should move his appointment.

Yeah, he should, but he's an ass like that. He never used to be an ass before we got married I don't know what changed. He even likes to argue with me when I tell him my diagnoses.

-spots and hugs solo- how you be?

I always have my fiance present when I see a doctor or specialist or my counsellor because my memory is so terrible and the NHS gives you nothing in writing.

Sarah, I don't want my husband at my appointments with me. He loves to talk. Always. The doctor and counselor would get annoyed with him and I would get pissed. He would sit there and talk the whole time. Then he would argue with the doctor. They don't give me my diagnoses in writing, either, but I remember what they diagnose me with, because I like to do some research on google it.

Hey Kitty! Thanks for the hug! *hugs ya back* Better now, but still edgy. I just got home from a huge skating party I took my kids to. There were sooo many people n not one adult there that I knew. I have social anxiety issues so that two hours felt like a LOT longer! Still feel sick.

Ah Kitty, thats how my mum is. She'd never let me go to the doctors alone and would always overtalk me and argue with them and it was hell. My fiance sits in silence and listens. So I understand my lovely *cuddles*

Hey Solo, glad to hear you're feeling better now, hope you feel fully better soon *hugs*

I'm off to bed now, tired - I was up early today :( Night *snuggles* x

*rocks*

-hugs and holds oliver- You are not a freak. You are awesome. -offers protective teddy- Is there something else you could try as a distraction?

Night night sarah -hugs- sleep tight.

thanks kitty *takes teddy*
I trying distractions, nothing is working, if ihad meds here i would take them, but dont and cant even type let alone go downstairs, i'm really sleep deprived, had like 2 hours in 3 days, just want the pain to be over i want death

I can relate, but I don't want you to die..can you go to sleep now? Not trying to get rid of you or anything. -snuggles oliver-

-spots and hugs heather- hey how you be?

Sorry solo I missed what you said. :( I have been dissociating again today. I'm so sorry, I didn't ignore you on purpose. -hugs again- I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I have problems in social situations, too, so I can relate. Good to hear that you are doing better now, though.

i'm ok i guess

That's good, Heather. I'm glad you are ok.

sits in a corner and cries

-hugs aoife77 if ok- whats ggoing on?

-curls up in her dark corner and bites her nails-

*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Oliver*You are NOT a freak . *Extra Hug*
*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Aoife*

I can't deal with this 'life' any more. I have to die. My psychologist didn't even listen to me when I told him that I am going to kill myself.

*cuddles Lindsay* you can beat this, you can get through it, you're strong, amazing and wonderful and we all care about you here. Sorry the psychologist didn't listen but you don't have to die hun :(

Just nipping in. Bit annoyed this morning but it'll pass. Bleh. Be back later tonight x

*Hugs Lindsay* please stay safe. I don't want you to die.

*hugs Sarah*

I feel blah today...

*hugs lindsay* you are so strong hun. Please try to fight through this. I do not want you to die, nor does anyone else here. I'm sorry your psych didn't listen. We will listen here if you need to talk.

*hugs felicia* im sorry you are feeling blah. Here if you need to talk.

*hugs sarah* hope you are alright and that you didn't get too annoyed.

*hugs everyone else*

Sorry i just responded to the last few people.

I have no idea why i am feeling like this... I feel like i could break at any moment though. Nothing triggered it really, just being at my parents makes me like this after awhile. Plus i'm getting so nervous for work re-starting up b/c i have so much responsibility there now... which is good.. i need to be accountable, but social anxiety is screaming in my head that I am going to look like a fool.
*sigh* sorry i shouldn't whine.

*hugs ward*

*cuddles helen* how r u today?