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Doikers 12-12-2010 03:23 PM


You wouldn't be burdening me at all, Mark. I'm here for you no matter what is going on in my life.
Same for me Lindsay . My advice is craptacular but if you need to rant or talk or anything I'm willing to listen :)

Doikers 12-12-2010 03:45 PM

Sorry I ranted last night . I was worried that my Lithium ......well I'm worried I've built up a tolerence to it . Taking myself into bed in the daytime is definatley a sign of depression for me and it's been too frequent recently for comfort . I HOPE HOPE HOPE it's just a blip brought on by the Holidays. I think I'm going to go to bed again just too get away from being up and having to do stuff . Just for like an hour or so *Justifys it to himself*

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 04:25 PM

I'm sorry Mark, I hope it starts working again soon.

Best wishes for your service Lindsey.

I really want to shoot my emotions. They can never make up their effin mind. It's weird. I am both happy and unhappy at the same time. 'Numb' and hurting. Ice Queen and moaning Myrtle. I don't understand it and it just confuses me. I wish I just had straight emotions that went one way or the other, how can I feel all these opposites at the same time?

Louise 12-12-2010 04:32 PM

hugs everyone

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 04:33 PM

Hey Louise. *Hugs*. You alright?

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:13 PM

*Hugs Lia* Emotions like that screw with me too Lia , It's so frustrating :S I get Numb and Anxious at the same time heh, It does not make sense . My mind is racing right now , it's like Sad , now content , now anxious wait I've changed my mind sad again.

*Hugs Louise* How are you today?

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 05:23 PM

Glad isn't really the right word, but I am kinda relieved I am not the only one. It sort of makes me feel as if I am going insane and it's unsettling. I don't want you to feel like this too though because it's doing my head in.

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:27 PM

It is a releif to know you're not going through this alone . Thats one of the reasons RYL is such a great place , all of us thought we were alone until we found this place .

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 05:51 PM

:) It is a little. It makes me feel more sane, although it makes no more sense than it did before, I feel a little better about feeling it. I also wrote about it. Made this poor fictional character of mine feel what I am feeling, which helps me to sort through my emtions and I came up with the analogy that it's like there's a little box of feelings in the centre of me and all of what I should be feeling is trapped in this little box so I can still feel them because they are there, but not nearly as much as I should but even when I am happy, they are still there making me hurt a wee bit and other times I feel them more than others because not all boxes can stay closed forever.

Doikers 12-12-2010 05:58 PM

That's a good ananlogy Lia :)

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 06:07 PM

Thanks :) It helps me to sort out my feelings, I have to analyse everything, it's just what I do and drives most people insane :) I'm tired, but I still have to go out. It's a Christmas party at my church group though and I am looking forward to it.

Just had a small heart attack because a boy called Jack who I think likes me in that way just text me and asked me to call him as he needs to talk to me but thank goodness he just wanted to know if he could borrow a Christmas hat for tonight.

Doikers 12-12-2010 06:09 PM

Enjoy your party Lia , Phew! do you have a spare hat?

one_step_closer 12-12-2010 06:15 PM

Hope you enjoy your party, Lia.

The service went well. I want to email the minister and thank her but i'm not sure what to say. I'd also like her support with coming back to church but, again, I don't know what to say.

SparkleKitten 12-12-2010 06:17 PM

*cuddles ward*

Sorry for not being in, its been hectic for me recently with getting ready for Christmas and uni stuff. I'm failing 3 modules out of 6 :( Not happy with it but there's not much I can do about it. Looks like I might be re-taking the year, but eh, it'll be fine I'm sure.

Wish I'd been in more, been thinking of you all x

FlyingNy 12-12-2010 06:18 PM

Thanks Mark and Linsdey, and yes, I do have a spare, but it says 'kiss me' which isn't entirely appropritae for church group methinks.

Hmm...Linsdey you could just start of with 'thank you for the lovely service this afternoon...' or something along those lines and then go on to say you want to come back to church on a regular basis, but you're a little nervous about it and could use some support. They're very nice in a church :)

*Hugs Sarah* Hey :) I hope you're alright.

Doikers 12-12-2010 06:29 PM

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Lindsay* I agree with Lia , I'd just lead with a "Thankyou for a lovely service today"

Does anyone know if Crimson's about, all this talk of church's make me want to ask her advice about something. Nothing bad but important (To me)

EDIT:- Crimson is only on on the Weekdays isn't she ? I've just thought this

SoMuchMore 12-12-2010 06:41 PM

*hugs sarah* im sorry uni hasnt been going fantastic, but hopefully it'll work out alright. Its okay to have to re-take some courses. especially as you struggled so much this semester. don't let it get you down too much.

*hugs mark* i havent seen her around today at all but i'm sure she'll pop in soon. She doesnt always come to her computer when she's at home. I think she prefers to be on here at work. I hope that your lithium tolerance isnt increasing too much. Maybe its just a depression blip... but maybe u should mention it to your doctors just in case.

*hugs lia* I hope you have fun at your party! Im glad that boy just called about a hat lol. I sometimes have to analyze things too a lot of the time... although sometimes my brain does it for me and thats when things get a little messy. I like to be in control of it for sure.

*hugs lindsay* I agree with lia's idea :-) i'm glad it went well.

*hugs kitty, helen, felicia, heather, and everyone else*

*waves to owen* Here if you need to talk as well. It is okay to talk in here if you need to.

Sorry i didnt do everyone, tried to catch up a little bit. Won't be around again until tomorrow though... got 12 hours of meetings/work today and have to study a bit for finals.

its 3 degrees (fahrenheit) with a real feel of -22 (again fahrenheit)... i don't want to walk a mile and a half to this meeting. I'm going to feeze to death :-(

Doikers 12-12-2010 06:50 PM

*Warming Hugs Laura* OOhh Keep bundled up Laura! Is that a mile and a half combined? or each way ?

Does anyone know if you can tell if you have Lithium tolerence from your blood tests ?, I'm due them tomorrow but kept putting off the appointment . I'll get them done , It doesn't have to be every 3 months to the day , just 3 monthsish.

SoMuchMore 12-12-2010 07:05 PM

Mile and a half each way :-( and itll be dark when im walking back so itll probably be even colder.

I don't think you can measure tolerance in a blood test. I'm pretty sure blood tests only detect the levels. You could always ask your doctor about that though, as I am definitely not an expert. Do you want to know if you tolerance is up? or is that why you are putting off the appointment?

Doikers 12-12-2010 07:26 PM

I didn't really put off the appointment it just didn't get made hmm oops.
I mean I was on 800mg Litithum and got better then depressed because of tolerance (Lithium is the only med My Dr Changed and it worked), then I was increased to 1000mg and got better and then Depressed again so ...1200mg and it worked but I think it could be wearing off and I can't just keep taking more and more Lithium *Sigh*

misskitty112 12-12-2010 07:30 PM


Doikers 12-12-2010 07:31 PM

*Hugs Felicia* How're you hun?

misskitty112 12-12-2010 07:45 PM

I'm okayish, I suppose.
Last night with my sorority sisters was great. Today's just ehh. It's 1:45 PM, I'm still technically in bed. At least I have my uni work out, not that I'm doing it, really but you know...
I'm stressed, and anxious, and sad. I don't know.

one_step_closer 12-12-2010 07:52 PM

*hugs Felicia* I'm here if you want to talk.

I emailed the minister and she replied with:

Hi. Thanks for your email. I am so glad you braved it and that the service helped. I am more than happy to support you. You are always welcome. If you would like I can have a cuppa with you. Just let me know.
Email is a great way to talk as well and ask questions.
Thanks again
Warm regards

Now I don't know what to say again.

Doikers 12-12-2010 08:03 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I'm glad you had such a great time last night :) and at least you have your uni work out , Thats a start, you seem a very good student and I'm sure you'll get your work done :) (Thats meant to sound encourageing)

*Hugs Lindsay* You could say "hey okay , whens convinient for you for a cuppa?" and arrange an informal sort of chat with her , she sounds very nice :)

SparkleKitten 12-12-2010 08:07 PM

For those who have Twitter, I just started an almost anon. account so people can keep up with how I feel but not know its me, if you get what I mean


Doikers 12-12-2010 08:15 PM

I've never ever been on twitter Sarah, Is it good?

xxjuliexx 12-12-2010 08:18 PM

-sits sniffling- i sorry about last night

Doikers 12-12-2010 08:22 PM

Why Sorry Owen? are you okay?

xxjuliexx 12-12-2010 08:32 PM

stupid computer i wrote a reply and posteded it but it didnt post -frowns-

Doikers 12-12-2010 08:34 PM

oh that happens to me too sometimes , what did you say?

misskitty112 12-12-2010 08:37 PM

Mark, thanks. It was encouraging. I made it through half a chapter in Marketing before my brain got boggled with "global marketing strategies," "adapted global marketing," "too much Americanization in marketing," etc etc. Break time, for sure.

Owen, it's okay. What's wrong, dear?

SparkleKitten 12-12-2010 09:50 PM

Twitter is handy for posting without being traced. I've set mine up to use as a journal, just updates about my moods so I can track them

I keep seeing Rebecca in my dreams, and sometimes I hear her voice when I'm awake. Not sure whats going on but I'll admit I don't dislike it. I've started posting under her name when I don't want to be identified. *shrugs*

Doikers 12-12-2010 09:59 PM

*Hugs Sarah* I might look into Twitter , Are you aware of her voice as inside your head or outside your head , sorry I'm no Dr , just trying to understand.

Doikers 12-12-2010 10:03 PM

*Hugs My Wardmates goodnight*

Busy day tomorrow , appointments at 10am,11am and 12 pm, But I like all the people :)

SparkleKitten 12-12-2010 10:04 PM

Its inside, but sometimes I say her words out loud without noticing. *shrugs*

I'll speak to my doctor about it at some point

Nighty night Mark

PsychoKitty2010 12-12-2010 11:04 PM

*hugs Lia back* I don't know what to do, either. I am not making up the fact that I have no friends here - why would I lie about such a thing? Heh. I thought I had a few, but one turned out to be a psycho bitch, and threatened to show up at my doorstep with a sword. The other 2 turned out to be nothin but users - you know, the kind that use you in whatever way they can think of but you never hear from them unless they need something, and I'm not talking just about support - they tried usin me for everything...rides to places, money, etc. I got tired of it so I cut it off with them. I haven't made any other friends in the area other than that. And as far as school goes, I am a long way from being done. I still have another 4-5 years, possibly longer because I don't know what I am wanting to major in - I'm undecided. So yeah...I'm stuck.

*hugs everyone who wants one* how is everybody?

Cazki 13-12-2010 12:36 AM

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Owen*

*Hugs Kitty*

I suffer with deppression to, iv had it for quite some time now, sometimes its really bad. Felt down last night, but im better now.

SparkleKitten 13-12-2010 12:57 AM

*cuddles all who want* Is it strange I spend all my time craving seeing/hearing Rebecca? I don't know whats going on, she's not real but I miss her

risenfromperdition 13-12-2010 01:05 AM

geez laura, it was like 45 here o.O
no trading :P

risenfromperdition 13-12-2010 01:07 AM

felicia, hope you getted your stuff done :)
that said... im off for the night,
bye bye loves :)

might be back on periodically buuut

xxjuliexx 13-12-2010 01:07 AM


Originally Posted by Monsoon (Post 2606442)
*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Owen*

hun u probably dont know owen that well yet but please dont hug him unless he asks or hugs u first ok


Originally Posted by Ribenalion (Post 2606482)
*cuddles all who want* Is it strange I spend all my time craving seeing/hearing Rebecca? I don't know whats going on, she's not real but I miss her

and i feel real stupid in asking this but whos Rebecca?

risenfromperdition 13-12-2010 01:13 AM

hey julie, how you doin :)

xxjuliexx 13-12-2010 01:14 AM

*hugs heather* hi hunny

PsychoKitty2010 13-12-2010 01:16 AM

-hugs her knees ever so tightly and curls up into the tightest ball she can-

Why does life have to be so shitty? Why does PTSD have to exist? Havin a horrible panic attack my heart is pounding but I can hardly breathe. I dont know what to do I want to cut so bad!

risenfromperdition 13-12-2010 01:20 AM

=[ sorry feel horrid

ugh this stupid paper should write itself. fml

PsychoKitty2010 13-12-2010 01:21 AM

whats the paper on, heather?

xxjuliexx 13-12-2010 01:22 AM

*offers hugs to kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 13-12-2010 01:23 AM

thanks julie *hugs back* how are you doing?

risenfromperdition 13-12-2010 01:26 AM

a law in congress about more funding for ed treatment when peopel arent 'really ill' ... and by that i mean the insurance company's idea of not really ill, any struggling with ed's is ill enough [says me.. hypocriteeee]

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