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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 08:53 AM

Up, dressed, makeup on, hair straight, Ice Queen mask in place. Yep, I'm good to go. *Whispering* ...but I'm bloody terrified.

*Hugs all.* I think this is the earliest you've ever seen me up.

shadowedsoul 06-09-2010 10:00 AM

Huggles all. Erm I thought when I woke up this morning the thoughts of wanting to be with someone would go away. But it's still here stronger than ever. I'm really scared what I might do to myself.sorry

Kahlia1981 06-09-2010 10:08 AM

I really don't want to fight anymore .... is that too much to ask ?

shadowedsoul 06-09-2010 10:41 AM

Gys do you know if I can just walk inmto hospital, and speak to someone, heads messed up stuiped tjoughts

Doikers 06-09-2010 11:08 AM

*Hugs Ward* Wow it sure was busy last night.

Felicia *Hugs* I hope that movie didn't trigger you too much.

Jill *Hugs* Are you under a community Mental health team as I'm sure you can just walk in and talk to them , maybe even if you are not under their care.

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Oliver*

~Kaytee~ 06-09-2010 11:13 AM

*cuddles Kahlia* :( you can pm me anytime if you want xx

Doikers 06-09-2010 11:39 AM

Hi Kaytee :) *Hugs* How are you ?

~Kaytee~ 06-09-2010 11:43 AM

Hi Mark :) (for some reason I almost keep calling you Adam lol) *hugs back* Eh, not too good at the moment. How are you going?

Doikers 06-09-2010 11:49 AM

Mark Heh , not Adam , I woke up more depressed than I want to be but less depressed than yesterday so I guess thats something , it still took a colossal effort to get out of bed after lying there semi awake for a couple of hours :S I'm currently caffineating to try and feel less depressed and more alert for my meetings today.
Why are you not too good? , I can listen although I am no good at advice right not but I will listen yep :)

~Kaytee~ 06-09-2010 11:54 AM

Oh *hugs* i hope you feel less depressed soon. good job getting out of bed :) good luck with the meeting, sounds like fun *rolls eyes* lol
I dunno, just.. dealing with stuff with my benefits.. overwhelmed with uni.. it's just everything, one of those days where everything is getting to me lol.

Doikers 06-09-2010 11:58 AM

:s I don't like those type of days , I hope you can get your benefits sorted (They always stress me out too) . Could you just try and take uni work a little bit at a time , maybe study for 25 minutes and rest for 5 minutes and repeat ? Sorry if thats a crap thought.

~Kaytee~ 06-09-2010 12:03 PM

It's not a crap thought :) It's good.. am trying somethig like it.. i hope it gets sorted too :/ i just feel like curling up in a ball and crying.. or b/ping like crazy =[

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 12:07 PM

*hugs everyone*

I cut myself quite badly yesterday and had to go to hospital for stitches. I got there at 10:05pm and didn't get home until 3am. I still feel triggered to SI or OD.

Doikers 06-09-2010 12:10 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry Lindsay , please try not to S.I. or OD , I know what it's like to be very triggered , it's not any good :( You can get through this without harming yourself . 5 hours in the hospital is enough to take it out of anyone :S

~Kaytee~ 06-09-2010 12:11 PM

*hugs Lindsay* sorry, im really crap for support atm.. please try take care of yourself though, as Mark said, you can get through this without harming yourself. we're all here xx

The One Who 06-09-2010 12:42 PM

*hugs everyone*

I am feeling really unsafe right now :(

Doikers 06-09-2010 12:45 PM

*Hugs Claire* I'm sorry you feel unsafe , has anything specific triggered you to feel this way ?

The One Who 06-09-2010 12:46 PM

My dad isn't well, and I don't know how to cope :( it's a bit pathetic but I don't really care right now.

Doikers 06-09-2010 12:51 PM

It's not pathetic Claire , it's hard when people we care about are sick :S

The One Who 06-09-2010 12:53 PM

It just feels like I never get a break. It is always one thing to another thing to another thing. I'm tired of it now.

Doikers 06-09-2010 12:57 PM

*Hugs Claire* I'm sorry you are not getting a a break , I'm sorry but my tenancy review starts in 3 minutes I have to log off a bit , Hang in there .

The One Who 06-09-2010 01:00 PM

*hugs* Thanks. I hope it goes well for you.

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 01:02 PM

I'm here if you want to talk, Claire. I remember when my Dad got ill I was really worried and was fed up of bad things always happening to me. It's hard, but you can get through this safely.

The One Who 06-09-2010 01:04 PM

Thanks Lindsay. I hope I can.

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 01:17 PM

How might you help yourself through this difficult time?

The One Who 06-09-2010 01:22 PM

I really don't know. I think I'm going to stay with a friend for a couple of days, just to get away from things. I know that will make it harder to come back though, it always does. But it should help me relax for a while at least.

CrazyHayley 06-09-2010 01:27 PM

I spy a lindsay! *huggles!* sorry to read bout your trip to hospital last night and being triggered.

Hello Claire! *huggles* I do believe we've not met! But I'm an old regular in here, apart from the fact that I was doing well so I was less regular, and then when I needed to get online cos things were crazy I had no time to and was then too unwell to, and then I had a 2week holiday and then I moved flat and had no internet til now! *deep breath to recover!* So yes, Hello and I'm sorry to hear that you're dad is unwell and you're finding it difficult to cope. I wish I had words of wisdom for you but all I can manage at the moment is an extra huggle *huggles Claire again*

A HUGE thank-you to all of you who signed my moving in card - it was sooo thoughtful of Mark to organise and for you all to take part. I had to fight back happy tears. Things are still hetic at the moment with appointments and things to do everyday :( I'm surviving on proplus and extra painkillers which both I seem to be getting a tolerance for now which really isn't good. I just need everything to get sorted so I can spend a week in bed, on ryl and WoW and get back to 'normal' before Eoghan deploys to Afghan. He doesn't need his last weeks with me being an anxious stressed out mess!

Anyhoo, will try and check back later, but I've a million things to do that I really don't want to...well ok, not a million, but it feels like it. Better do them, as they won't go away....

*goes out to smoking shelter first for a fag*
"oh puppy sinclair! You coming to play in the garden?"

The One Who 06-09-2010 01:30 PM

Hi Hayley, thanks for the welcome and for the hugs! Things are sounding pretty hectic for you, but they'll calm down eventually.

CrazyHayley 06-09-2010 01:38 PM

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as to not stink of fags*

Claire - you're right, things will calm down, I have to keep focused to get things done so to achieve the calm! Oh and I like what your sig. says - very true.

*toddles around ward, checking all the hiding places, holes, corners, padded cell, denial tent and anywhere else she can find to go about giving huggles to all her fellow wardies who she has missed so much*

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 02:00 PM

*huge hugs for Hayley*

Doikers 06-09-2010 02:03 PM

EEEP! *Hugs Hayley* Welcome back online :)

RYUU 06-09-2010 02:22 PM

* hugs everyone * hearing voices feel unsafe

Doikers 06-09-2010 02:24 PM

*Hugs Reaper* What could you do to not hear the voices , could you perhaps put on some loud music ?

Kahlia1981 06-09-2010 02:25 PM

*huggles all*
Went somewhere I thought I'd be happy now all gone it's all bad gone crazy bad urgy bad

Doikers 06-09-2010 02:28 PM

*Hugs Kahlia*

Doikers 06-09-2010 02:56 PM

Off to meet my nurse .........

misskitty112 06-09-2010 04:42 PM

I hope it goes well, Mark! *hugs*

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 05:29 PM

Reaper, how have you coped safely with the voices before?

Kahlia, do you want to talk about it? Stay safe.

Mark, good luck

Felicia, how are you?

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 05:29 PM

I spy with my little eye someone beginning with H...

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 05:31 PM

Hey all. It wasn't too bad, there was nothing to be scared of. Except the whole damn place felt empty. That might be because it WAS empty, just my year an the year sevens, but it was also because she wasn't there, and never will be again. I can't quite get used to that fact.

Oh heck, I can tell you, you lot won't judge me. Two years ago, I fell in love with my English teacher. And I mean really fell in love. I care about her more than anyone else in the world, and when she said she was leaving the school adn moving 200 miles away, I was...well, I don't have the words, but if I had the choice to bring her back, I wouldn't. She wanted to move to be near her family and if that's what makes her happy...well her happiness matter more than mine. Point is she was the only person who made me feel worth something, she told me I could do it and I almost believed her. She helped me through my nan's death and when I was being bullied.

It's just weird now she's gone. I'll miss the way she put her hands on top of her head when she was trying to remember something, I'll miss the way she was so damn organised, she would have the year's lessons planned by October, yet she was ALWAYS late for class, I'll miss the way she would say this one girl's name, it was triple barraled and she would always say the whole thing and really quickly, I'll miss her sarcastic comments and her routine 'Alright?' when I passed her in the corridor each morning.

It's because of her I'm still her today, and I don't know what to do now she's gone but I'm going to stop talking about this now because it's just upsetting me.

Right, people.

Mark, you would have left by now but I'm sending you luck and I hope it all went OK. *Hugs* I also hope you feel a little better than you did this morning when you get back.

Kahlia- Could you explain a little more? Don't worry if you can't, it took me three months just to confess I fell in love with someone. But what do you mean it's all gone bad? I really hope you don't give up, we all love you hear and I for one couldn't stand for anything to happen to any of you wardies. Please try and stay safe. *Hugs*

Lindsay- I'm sorry to hear about your cutting, but it's good that you went to th the hospital and got it looked after. I know you're strong enough to resist those urges, no matter how hard it may be at times, and just like I said to Kahlia, I would be devestated if anything happened to any of you. We all would. *Cuddles gently*

How are you Felicia? Sorry if you've said, but I've looked at the last page. I hope you're alright. *Glomps*

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 05:37 PM

Reaper- I swear down I already replied...or maybe my mind's making things up again...anyway. Is there any way you can stay safe from the voices? Maybe remove yourself from anything dangerous, or drown them out with something loud? I hope you can stay safe. Try to remember they aren't really there, and they can't really hurt you by themselves.

MammaMia 06-09-2010 05:49 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Started my college enrolment today, got to go back and finish it tomorrow morning :D But it's all good :) Said I can start right on level 3, so will only be there for two years :D I'm really excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one_step_closer 06-09-2010 05:53 PM

*hugs Lia* I can understand some of what you're going through. There was a teacher at shcool who really helped me through my struggles and when I left school I had no idea how I was going to cope without her, but I did, and you will cope too. I can see that you are a strong person.

Helen, good for you!

Doikers 06-09-2010 05:55 PM

Met up with my nurse okay . It was very intense indeed , I asked her to breathalise me with a view to me going back onto my Antabuse and she did and I read a zero so it's not dangerous to go back on it. We then did some "If I drank" exercises and talked some. She said I don't HAVE to S.I. and I'm really going to try not to tonight , I know , good intentions and all that . But she was really pleased with me that I started volunteer work at the Cyber Cafe :)

Way to go Helen :)

MammaMia 06-09-2010 06:02 PM

Thanks Mark & Lindsay :D

misskitty112 06-09-2010 06:04 PM

Yay Helen!!!!!!! *super hugs*
Mark, I'm super glad it went well *hugs*
Lia, I too have some idea of what you're going through. I have this English professor that I love dearly (I'm still trying to figure out what kind of love it is) and I have no clue how I'm gonna cope if he leaves this uni or when I graduate... whichever comes first.

To anyone who asked how I am, I'm surviving. I can't explain much of how I feel, except I feel alone and unloveable. I debate a lot about going back to my abusive relationship with my ex fiance... just to have someone to love me. Not that he cared about anything. Not that he cares whether I'm alive or not. But he said he loved me, which is more than I hear from a lot of others.
I don't know. I'm just sick of all my friends getting married, and engaged, and having kids. I pretend I'm perfectly happy in uni, single, etc etc... but I really just want someone to love me.
And If you read this pity party, I applaud you, cause I know I'm being whiny and stupid and juvenile.

Doikers 06-09-2010 06:10 PM


I don't know. I'm just sick of all my friends getting married, and engaged, and having kids. I pretend I'm perfectly happy in uni, single, etc etc... but I really just want someone to love me.
I feel exactly the same way Felicia :S...... So I totally empathise , if that helps at all?

FlyingNy 06-09-2010 06:12 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I know it's not in the way you want, but we here all love and care about you in a way your ex never will. You're right, he can never really have loved you if he could hurt you. I for one know I could never hurt the woman I love, not ever. I understand you feeling lonely, I do too, to a point where I have imaginary people to help guide me through. Sam was with me today when I was feeling lonely without my teacher. But you don't need him, you will find someone, someone who really loves you for who you are and would never dream of hurting you. When that day comes you will struggle to see what you ever saw in your ex. I promise it will happen one day. Or you could always do what me and my friends have decided to do and marry each other if we're still single when we're 50 :) *Squeezy hugs*

Congrats Helen, that's great! *Massive hugs*

Mark- I'm glad the appointment went well and I really hope you can not SI tonight. I know you can do it, you're strong enough. *Encouraging hugs* And the same goes for you what I said to Felicia, minus the abusive ex bit.


misskitty112 06-09-2010 06:14 PM

Yeah, Mark, it helps to know I'm not totally alone in these feelings. Since anyone else I talk to just tells me "give it time, there's someone out there for you. You're still young... etc etc"
If there is someone out there, they are in hiding and I don't know where to find them.
But I swear, I'll stop whining eventually. Sorry...

Haha, Lia, I like your idea. I'll bring it up with my best friend! Surely if we're 50 and still single, he'd marry me.

SparkleKitten 06-09-2010 06:22 PM

Just checking in for the day, had a good day today, which was a nice change.

*hugs Felicia* You'll find someone who loves you for who you are and that is worth so much more.

*hugs Mark* Glad things went okay, I know you'll make it through tonight, you're strong and we'll all be here for you

*hugs Lia* I remeber a teacher at my college who helped me through so much and I cried for days when I left, but it got easier with time. You'll be okay, you can make it.

*hugs Helen* Thats fantastic news :) Well done!

*hugs for Reaper and Kahlia*

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