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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

nicole94 22-06-2010 09:35 PM

My Mums Taken All My ****ing Blades!!! Thats It! I Cant Live Here, I Cant!

Doikers 22-06-2010 09:40 PM

*Makes Nicolle Some calming Camomille tea*

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 12:05 AM

i can't cope, i can't handle this...

...i just want to curl up and die. i'm so ****ing sick of being triggered... can't cope with it all. need to cut, still, again, always. i want to be rid of it, but i can't... i just can't give it up... but i have to... :crying:

pitiful wreck.

and so fat, too. looking at my bestie... and her little sister... they are tiny and healthily so, too. blessedly skinny. i wish i could be small... :'(

so sick of this life.

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 12:15 AM

updated r/v... :crying:

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 12:20 AM

if i scream loud enough will the frustration and anxiety go away?

Kahlia1981 23-06-2010 12:26 AM

*hugs/waves at all ward mates*

I apologise in advance for the lack of individual replies. . .

April: Honey, I really hear you on being triggered. AND I really hear you in regards to other people being so tiny. I get it and feel it all the time. I wish I could offer you something that would help. :-( All I can say is that I have read - both here and your r/v - and I want to offer you *hugs* if that's okay . . .

Just want to scream my head off this morning . . .

Oh, but I got RPL'd through 3 Stages of my Diploma. So I guess I should be happy . . . right??

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 12:39 AM

well... i tried to call back a company that called me and left no message. it was a 5 .5 min call. Did I get anywhere? no. I got put on hold 2x and hung up on! when I called back I got nothing but voicemail! so being as I googled the phone number and got the company website I emailed them. This is what I emailed :

I received a call on my cell phone when I was unable to answer. I called back less than 5 minutes later to ask why I was called and what it was regarding as a message was not left. The first person answered then stuck me on hold then after a while on hold I was transfered to someone else. I started to explain why I was send to her phone line and half way through I was put on hold (without even being told I would be) and then a short while later hung up on. The call lasted 5 and a half minutes. 5 minutes of me being on hold to be hung up on! They didn't even ask my name or my phone number! When I called back immediately after being hung up on I got a voicemail. Here it is 15 minutes later and still no call back has been received. So far as I know (and according to my credit report from the end of last month) I owe your company nothing. And even if I do owe someone something a voice mail identifying who it is and what they want should be standard business practice. I would like an email explaining how this business practice is deemed acceptable as well as why I was called and not to be called again. I will not be harassed by an individual or a corporation and the next time I receive a call even remotely like this from your company I will be notifying the police and a lawyer and subpoenaing my phone records from my phone company.
Sound too emotion filled or angry or seem fair? So anxious now. FML I hate debt collectors... especially when they call me and I don't owe them anything... then I get all in a tizzy for nothing and that just pisses me off in the end. *shakes head and screams in frustration*

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 01:05 AM

well that got a speedy reply of sorts...
the guy called me and bad connection so i didn't hear anything when i answered and hung up after a few "hello?"s then he called back to ask what i was talking about in my email. apparently they are trying to contact my husband for a magazine membership he canceled years ago... *rolls eyes* then the phone on the desk rang and i told him to hold on and while i transferred a lawyer to the attorney they were calling for he hung up.
ah well... at least i now know why they called and that i didn't suddenly get another debt i didn't know about...

I'mJustMe 23-06-2010 01:26 AM

ANgelic Monster- *hugs if you want them* what's up? Glad the phone call thing got sorted. Are you OK now?

April- I hope you're feeling a little better. How are things with your dad now? Are they better? I hope so. I know what it's like to be without one and just want to thump the people who come into school and go 'I hate my dad, he won't get my the latest phone' or what not. Can't they see how lucky they are?

Hey Oliver, it is indeed Lia. Lia's really hurting right now. She can't feel anymore, nothing except this hurt. She's going into Ice Queen mode and will soon feel nothing at all. The cold hearted cow mask will go and and she will be distant and emotionally detatched. I love that mask. Why is Lia talking about herself in third person? Oh well, third person means she doens't have to be her.

I hope everyone's doing ok.

*Leave jar of hugs for all*


PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 01:34 AM

*hugs Lia back* yes better thanks. just a little irritated and anxious now... mostly irritated at being anxious if i were to be totally honest. *cuddles till the hurt goes away*

Kitkat :) 23-06-2010 01:39 AM

Hi everyone
Sorry I haven't posted here for a while.
Ermm, I'm quite possibly seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow... Because there's so much going on with me I don't know what they're going to say.
I'm really nervous.
My Mum's coming with me, which I don't want because I had a HUGE argument with her a couple of nights ago and she said that she didn't understand me, didn't know why I was having therapy, didn't know why I was unhappy or how to help me, didn't think I was helping myself and said that it was all too much for her and that sometimes she wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
At the time she didn't even care that she made me cry with all this.

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 01:48 AM

i hurt i hurt i hurt

not safe not safe not safe not safe not safe

just want to die
make the pain go away


PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 01:56 AM

*cuddles april*

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 02:18 AM

*cuddles crimson*

*spies kahlia and cuddles her if okay?*

i hurt.........

Kahlia1981 23-06-2010 02:25 AM

*cuddles all*

*gently cuddles April* - cuddles are always welcome sweetness.

risenfromperdition 23-06-2010 08:57 AM

*curls up in corner and sighs sleepily*
bleh. fat =[

risenfromperdition 23-06-2010 08:57 AM

*cuddles april tight* <333

Doikers 23-06-2010 12:08 PM

*Hugs Heather*

**Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs KitKat*

*Hugs Lia*

wolfos3d 23-06-2010 12:40 PM

*curls up in a ball* I just want the hurting part to go away.

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 12:48 PM

jess, before i forgot, i wanted to tell you that i like your usertitle... hehe. i take it that you play some form of wow? :P hayley, crimson, mark, and i all play wow... but not all together, since hayley and mark are in the uk and crimson and i are in the us and they're two totally separate games. anyway, just thought i'd ask. ;) *hugs* i wish i could make the hurting go away, too. :(

mark, how are you? and heather? (you're not fat, btw!!) <3

i've got to go eat breakfast... just got off wow - honoring the flames on my level 80 for the summer fire festival - made probably around 100g just doing that!! woohoo... lol. :) that makes me happy... 'cause if my toons are being powerleveled then i need the gold for training!! :-X

i'll check in later... hopefully everyone's day is gonna be okay. *cuddles those who want/need them and sprinkles magical faerie peace dust everywhere*

Doikers 23-06-2010 12:53 PM

I crawled out of bed at something like 10.30am , and I just feel wretched , LOW , and crap generally , and no ammount of cutting will "Fix" me, I'm busted up emotionally and I have the template of a post I want to post in vets support but I don't know what replies I'd get as it's kinda pathetic , Also scary for me to put out there, in the public domain as parts are VERY personal I hate to think about them at all, they just make me more low :( *Sigh* sorry

*Huggles Jessica*

wolfos3d 23-06-2010 12:59 PM

I play WoW. Or at least I did. My game card ran out and it's gonna be a little while before I get more time. I'm on the US servers, on Echo Isles mostly.

*hugs Mark*

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 02:42 PM

sweet, jess. i'll have to check out echo isles (is it pvp, rp, or rp/pvp? because i prefer pve... heh)... :) i have toons on silvermoon and grizzly hills mostly (alliance mostly, but a few horde), a fresh-out-of-the-starting-area blood elf death knight on area 52, and a pally and a priest (22 and 20, respectively, i believe) on runetotem. :) i'm guessing you have a rogue? ;) ohh, and how are you doing today? *hugs*

*cuddles mark* sorry you're so low, sweet. that really sucks. :( i wish i could help you somehow... :( wish i could help all of you... but i can't. not anymore than anyone else can... :'( please try not to cut, hypocritical i know but i'm worried about you & how low you are. :(

i feel like crap with a capital c. just want to die. i don't even know why. i can't identify the emotions behind being this way. i'm just so sick of life... :'(

*hides in the darkest place in the warren and cries*

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 02:49 PM

aand... updated r/v again.

just want to go to sleep forever... :'(

xxjuliexx 23-06-2010 03:12 PM

*sits sniffles*

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 03:48 PM

*cuddles julie* what's wrong, hon?

i'm so exhausted. just saw one of my friends from church, keep getting hit with how freaking skinny she is... :'( i'm scared for her and also triggered... which really sucks. i don't know what to do anymore.

i have therapy later today... my 2nd session with this therapist... dunno how well that's gonna go. :-/ am scared.

keep thinking i'm hearing voices where there are none. i mean, i can separate what's real from what isn't. i think it may be because i'm so tired? but i don't know... :-S

Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 04:02 PM

just updated r/v again... wish it weren't so freaking quiet in here, need some company. :'( *turns on some lights and puts delta goodrem on...*

I'mJustMe 23-06-2010 04:11 PM

Hi guys.

*Hugs April, Mark and anyone else who wants a hug*

April- how are you feeling now? Are you any better? Would you like to tell us what made you feel the way you are right now?

Same with you Mark, do you know what made you feel so low? I hope you're both feeling better now, and anyone else who was hurting. I don't know what else to say.

Remember, you're not alone, we're all here for you, everyone on this site. Don't give up.


p.s what's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Sorry about the bad jokes, but I find the bad jokes are always the best, they're so insanly appaling that they're funny.

Doikers 23-06-2010 04:35 PM

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Julie*

*Hugs Lia*

I'mJustMe 23-06-2010 06:08 PM

*Hugs Marks back*

You know what I love about this thread? People really care, not that they don't on the other threads, but on here, people use your first name and do individual replies, which I haven't found anywhere else. I feel a part of something, even if I am younger than virtually all of you it doesn't really matter because we are all in the same boat and we all need someone.

How are you feeling now Mark?


Scarletdreamer 23-06-2010 06:32 PM

lia, i totally agree with you there. people here care... and i haven't found that in many other threads. there used to be another one here in vet's support that was more of a general chat thread, but it got lost because the people in it got sick of talking about problems so instead made a general chat "*minimal triggers*" thread in vet's general. blah. not really sure that i agree with them, but whatever. at least this thread is still around. :)

i don't know what's making me feel this way. i think being worried about my therapy appt because i'm scared she thinks i'm a joke. last appt there was a question on the sheet i had to fill out that i couldn't figure out - it was either asking me what caused me to come in to therapy or what caused the problems i had to list above, and i wrote, "not sure," because i wasn't. then just as i was going out the door, the therapist said, "oh, and you don't know why you're here?" and it took me a bit to figure out why she said that... so yeah, gonna have to correct that later. :-/

i am still hearing snatches of whispered voices. it's not thoughts, it's voices, and it's worse when it's utterly quiet. :( ughhh. i hate being this way. psychotic breaks really do suck, especially when i'm already taking 30mg abilify. :(

*hides in a hole* :'(

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 06:34 PM

*huggles lia, april, mark, kahlia, jk, helen, oliver, jess, kat(et al), kathryn (et al), julie (et al , but waves to o), anyone else I missed (sorry... didn't mean to forget you if i did)*
How is everyone this morning?

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 06:36 PM

I'm sure she doesn't think you're a joke April. Just be sure to let them know you weren't sure what the question was referring to and what the correction should be. *cuddles and hands a plushie*

Doikers 23-06-2010 06:56 PM

I'm okay thankyou Lia , A little numb , it just seems whenever I shut my eyes I start falling alsleep and the I get phases of not sleeping at all . I could cut tonight , just to "feel" , which is one of many reasons I do it
*Hugs Lia*

April Good luck with your therapist later, I'm sure she doesn't think you're a joke , not at all , Just be honest that you don't understand the question*Hugs*

*Hugs Crimson*

risenfromperdition 23-06-2010 07:10 PM

*cuddles everyone*

one_step_closer 23-06-2010 08:12 PM

It was my Dad's funeral today. Feeling a bit low and suicidal.

PoisonedApple 23-06-2010 08:15 PM

*cuddles Lindsay and sits with*

Doikers 23-06-2010 09:10 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*

SoMuchMore 23-06-2010 09:15 PM

*hugs april, mark, lia, heather, lindsay, crimson, oliver, and everyone I missed*

Hope everyone is okay. Try to stay safe.

Feeling grumpy today. Mostly b/c i woke up with a stye in my eye. I hate styes. I get them about once a year or so. Just makes me/makes me feel even more unattractive than i already am. *sigh* okay i'll stop before I start to rant about nothing.

nicole94 23-06-2010 09:49 PM


Doikers 23-06-2010 10:10 PM

*Hugs Nicole* How are you today?

jonikd 23-06-2010 10:18 PM

*cuddles all* Sorry I haven't been around guys, a mix of internet issues and MH issues.

Been thinking of you all, and missing our contact. Just wanted to say hi and send hugs and strength to all my friends here.

JK xx

nicole94 23-06-2010 10:18 PM

*hugs mark*
worse than yesterday. i cut :( and had an argument with a girl at group.

Doikers 23-06-2010 10:23 PM

Oh Nicole , please take care of your cut ( Sterile ,clean ) and try not to dwell on the argument you had with the girl at group , Just deep breaths , and let it pass *Hugs*

Doikers 23-06-2010 10:24 PM

*HUGS JK* I miss you being around , I hope you are taking care of yourself :)

Doikers 23-06-2010 10:27 PM

I'm not overly tired but am going to bed I don't know all the reasons why. It will stop me cutting , thats a good reason .It will stop me feeling low , thats a good reason, so 2 good reasons .

Asleep is the safest place you can be.

nicole94 23-06-2010 10:29 PM

*hugs* thanks mark. i cleaned the cuts, and am trying to get over the argument, but it got to me, cause me and the girl got on quite well, and one of the rules of group is that any self harm scars have to be coverd, and hers wasnt and it was really triggering me, and i was nice and waited till we were on our own and asked her nicley to cover them up cause they were triggering me! and i was right to do that cause one of the workers heardbout it and came and spoke to me and said that shes sorry and she was gonna have a word but i got there first and that i shouldnt take it personally but i did and the woman who said that is really nice but shes leaving and im scared!! :'(

Doikers 23-06-2010 10:32 PM

*Gentle Hugs Nicole*

nicole94 23-06-2010 10:37 PM

*clings to mark and cries* i dont wanna do this anymore. i'm so suicidal, worse than i've ever been. i didnt wanna leave group today, i hated it there cause of gemma. but i didnt wanna come home. i hate home. i want to die.

I'mJustMe 23-06-2010 11:21 PM

*Hugs Nicole*

I've spoken to you before. I'm so sorry I can't help. I just don't know what to say. Please try to stay safe, distract yourself, do anything.

The sun will come out tomorrow (I'm sorry if I just got that stuck in anyone's head.)

April, I'm sure she doesn't think that, you just got confused with the question, easily done. I can be sehr stupid at times. I got an A* in my RE mock exam, but in the real thing when it matters I go and write about the wrong thing completly. Oh well.

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