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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

CrazyHayley 26-04-2010 04:19 PM

*huggles mark and tries to keep him safe and calm* Oh how crap that you've still got issues with the power company and that its triggerred you. Please make sure you take care of yourself now. Also, can I make a suggestion/request? That you don't open any mail unless it is personally titled to you. Any other type of mail, such as 'to the occupier' etc wait until you're with someone who may be able to help you through anything that could be potentially stressful and triggering? There was a time that I wouldn't open any letters from DWP unless I had someone with me. Even now my tummy turns as I get them...speaking of which they sent me a stupid letter only the other day, which I need to phone up and sort out before I PMDD again otherwise it may be too much to cope with....

I'm going to update my journal now (PM me if you need me Mark before I pop back in) I'll do individual replies after.

*toddles off down the corridor to find a spot to update her journal*

Doikers 26-04-2010 04:26 PM

The Letter was addressed to me. I am waiting for a bill from them for about 5 weeks power before I switched providers but they haven't sent me my bill , just this HUGE one, I feel really Totally numb now :S

Doikers 26-04-2010 04:29 PM

Hayley, I am going out to pick up some dressings , I'll be safe but I haven't got any thing to keep it sterile back in a bit.

MammaMia 26-04-2010 05:16 PM

I spy a Hayley & Mark

*cuddles you both*

Mark, I'm sorry you cut & still getting these bills :(

Doikers 26-04-2010 05:18 PM

I'm back , coulden't get a sterile liquid thing as they all had alcohol and I take Antabuse . I'm thinking I should send them an angry e-mail ,GOD I'm shaking and I can't think *Hugs Helen*

CrazyHayley 26-04-2010 05:21 PM

*huggles Mark* oh dear on the letter being addressed to you, they really have made a buggery of things haven't they? Once you've got your wounds all dressed, contact your housing support worker if you haven't already. They really need to rectify this situation for you. Oh and my brother listens to Dixie chicks, not really my thing but I gave it a watch/listen and yeah totally understand what you mean about it in relation to your SI.

*looks under huge blanky...sees Julie* do you wanna come out from blanky and talk to us at all? We don't judge here, we just listen and support the best we can. *huggles Julie*

*huggles April* glad that I could make you smile. I can't get the jist of the time difference but you've been on my mind as I'm sending out extra positive thoughts your way to help you through your presentation.

*huggles Kahlia* I totally understand what you mean about wanting a different reality to run away to. That's why discovering WoW has been such a lifeline and distraction to me. I don't think I would have got through the past few months if it wasn't for a combination of RYL and WoW! Are you the type of person who could 'lose' themselves in some sort of roleplaying online game? It doesn't have to be WoW but perhaps one in a genre you like would be helpful?

*huggles Kat* hi! I don't think I've properly introduced myself - I'm crazy Hayley, or hayley-rose, or dustbin! But generally I respond to Hayley, lol. If you can't see me in here, then I'm often in the smoking shelter, I know, tut tut....anyhoo, I hope that you make the most out of being in here with us. Share as much or as little about your situation as you feel comfortable with and we'll listen and offer huggles if we can't do anything more.

*huggles helen* how's the attacking of your room going? When having a 'mad' clean, do you have to be mad as in angry mad, or mad as in nutty mad?! Just trying to conjure an image in my head, teehee!

Well I updated my journal, its ended up ebing more factual than an emotional outlet this time as I couldn't remember the emotions that went with specific events! Oh how my mood swings happen so frequently! I think the journal entry may have been silly long if I could recall all that I'd wanted to say over the past 3 weeks though. But at least now I'm up to date, I feel that I can continue with it as I intended now...which I have a feeling I may need after my second session at development circle tonight.

*pops out to smoking shelter*

CrazyHayley 26-04-2010 05:33 PM

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as to not stink of fags*

I'm gonna have a nap now. Not sure if I'll have time to be talkative again tonight, so just incase....


MammaMia 26-04-2010 05:35 PM

Hahaha, a mad clean is usually me being nutty and really going for it. If that even makes sense?? I've given up, but most of it is done anyway. Got to hoover the stairs, as my Mum asked me too (she asked me to do 3 jobs, done 2 already) and I really don't want to. Hate hoovering the stairs =P

Doikers 26-04-2010 05:50 PM

E-on Deserve a harsh e-mail don't they ? I can't decide , sorry I'm royaly freaking out even though my housing support worker who I ran into by chance said it wasn't my bill . But they keep sending it to me and they used the word "Immediatly" I've just got visons of a couple of guys showing up to collect this debt , I've taken a Diaz , I wish I had somthing stronger *sigh* I'll watch friends re-runs in a bit maybe they will distract me

katnovia 26-04-2010 06:25 PM

*stops crying enough to look up*

Doikers 26-04-2010 06:28 PM

*Hugs Katnovia and hands a tissue* sorry I've been wrapped up in my own problems today , you ok?

SoMuchMore 26-04-2010 06:36 PM

Wow there have been a lot of posts!

*hugs helen* Im glad that you are making progress in cleaning even if you didnt want to do it. And i'm glad that one of your friends messaged you back! That invisibility cloak you sometimes have on here can cause some problems huh? lol.. although sometimes i wish i had my own cloak, it would be so handy!

*hugs mark* I'm sorry that you cut and about that bill. Sounds like the company is really messing things up. You could write an e-mail if you want, but if you do make sure it is cold yet professional sounding.. you don't want to rant.. that usually doesnt help very much. I'm glad that you are taking care of the wound. Hang in there.

*hugs oliver* That picture of you is very nice! How r u doing today?

*hugs hayley* That story about ur names made me smile lol (although, maybe you dont think its as funny..) I hope you have a good nap!

*hugs april* Good luck today hun! Let us know how the presentation goes. I'm sure it'll be great.

*hugs kahlia* Sometimes another reality to run to would be nice... I'm sorry that you are feeling rejected. Oh and I will keep my eye out for lychees from now on lol. I'm intrigued by them.

*hugs JK* Congrats on being 10 days free! keep it up you're doing great!

*hugs kat and julie*

So.... I have 10000 things to do for uni in the next two weeks. Should be a whirlwind. I keep hoping that it'll distract me from other things and it kinda does for a little bit, but then i lose my concentration. ugh.
Other than that, I'm okay i guess. I just feel kind of alone. I have this general feeling that I don't actually fit where i am and that I am replaceable. Maybe after uni is over I should go somewhere far far away.. see if things are different somewhere else.

PoisonedApple 26-04-2010 07:04 PM

*huggles everyone*
Sorry no individual replies right now but there were 8 pages since I was last on... I did try to read through em all and get it to sink in but I dunno how successful that was...

Gotta love Monday mornings, where nothing seems to go or work right. The work phones are all kindsa messed up this morning. But at least I only have to work at the front desk for 30 min in the morning.

Doikers 26-04-2010 07:14 PM


You could write an e-mail if you want, but if you do make sure it is cold yet professional sounding.. you don't want to rant.. that usually doesnt help very much.
I probably won't write , I would rant and that woulden't help like you said , I'm just so ........ARRGG!! :( *Hugs Laura* Thanks for the advice

katnovia 26-04-2010 07:15 PM

mark: *sniffles* it's alright, I understand. *huggles* I'm sorry that you're having trouble with E-on, i've just moved away from them to M&S. That kind of thing is draining. *huggles extra tight* and I'm sorry that you cut too, but i'm glad you're looking after your wound. *hands you a specially soft blankie*

I asked for help. I wish I hadn't. Stupid me.

laura: *huggles back* you are completely irreplaceable.

hayley: *hugs back* thank you for the welcome.

*huggles last person to comment and hug, but as is writing in edit can't remember who*

PoisonedApple 26-04-2010 07:21 PM

I'm sorry Kat... I don't remember if I welcomed you or not... *hugs* How are you today?

*Huggles Mark* I hope your housing worker can get it straightened out all the way this time and soon. Them sending bills to you passed rediculous a long time ago. And sorry I didn't reply to your PM... I just got it this morning. Will try to reply when my mind finishes joining the waking world...

katnovia 26-04-2010 07:24 PM

angelic: that's alright I don't remember either *hugs back* feeling emotionally wounded, shocked, frustrated, tired, stressed and dissapointed.

SoMuchMore 26-04-2010 07:31 PM

*huggles crimson* I was just thinking about you a little bit ago as you hadn't posted in awhile. Glad to see that you are alright. Sometimes monday mornings fit the cliches exactly. I'm sorry that things at work are messed up today. How else are you doing?

*hugs mark* no problem, sorry if it wasn't a very helpful thing to say, i just didn't want you to get into any verbal wars as that could be very draining/upsetting.. But yea, i would be really frustrated too. Try not to get too upset again. Hopefully it'll all get worked out.

*hugs kat* why do you wish you hadnt asked for help? You aren't stupid for asking though. It's never stupid to reach out.

katnovia 26-04-2010 07:35 PM

I wasn't expecting such an insensitive response from a vicar-to-be. He told me I should have sex with my husband once a week regardless of wether i'm ready to or not, or how much mental damage it could cause because it'll save our marriage! I feel like a dirty used rotten peice of meat. I wish i'd never confided in him at all.

Doikers 26-04-2010 07:39 PM

*Hugs Kat* Thanx so much for the extra soft blankie :)

I asked for help. I wish I hadn't. Stupid me
It's not stupid to ask for help , never , if you need help we here will always try our best :)

I hope it gets sorted out soon too Crimson , and thanx for letting me PM you in the first place.*Hugs*

Laura , it was the most helpful thing you could of said , I was all ready to write the pissed off e-mail to end all pissed off e-mails and what you said helped keep my head straight until my Diaz kicked in * hugs*

xxjuliexx 26-04-2010 07:48 PM

morning i'm heading out to the pool

PoisonedApple 26-04-2010 07:49 PM

Kat- I'm Crimson :) As for

wasn't expecting such an insensitive response from a vicar-to-be. Told me I should have sex with my husband once a week regardless of wether i'm ready to or not because it'll save our marriage!
that's ridiculous. Feeling like a rape victim with your husband will not save your marriage. I would speak to someone else. That wasn't just insensitive it could cause you mental harm and hurt the marriage more than not. Have you talked to your husband about it? - sorry if that isn't what you meant or if that reply didn't make sense. I'm feeling kind of jumbled right now -

Laura~ Sometimes I don't get on my computer on the weekends, sometimes I do. :) I feel kinda jumbled and a little off. So far I haven't done anything productive work-wise... I did redo my desk for the third time in a week though. I think this may fix my issues though. I can now sit up all the way straight and see my computer monitor correctly and my keyboard is now up at a height that isn't awkward... *shrug* We'll see if this does it.

*huggles April, Hayley, Mark, Oliver, Kat, JK, Julie, Helen, Laura, Kahlia, Nicole, and anyone else in the ward*
*wanders off for a bit to try to do 15 min of work (You can do amazing things in 15 minutes)*

katnovia 26-04-2010 07:55 PM

*hugs crimson* Yeah I spoke to him about it. He thought the suggestion was somewhat off. Now I just can't shake feeling like i'm supposed to be some kind of mens plaything. I hate it. I havn't felt like this for 2 or 3 years. Stupid man. I just feel so p***ed off at me for deciding he was safe to confide in. I even told him why a sexual relationship with hubby isn't on the cards at the moment, and he still thought i should make the sacrifice. *gets angry* stupid. stupid.

nicole94 26-04-2010 08:01 PM

*hugs everyone* really cant be botherd to read through all the pages i've missed. i didnt manage to go to school today, and april, i did read what you wrote about the school system, here we go through pre school. then reception. then years 1-11, then sixth form in years 12&13, then uni. i'm currently at the end of year 11.

katnovia 26-04-2010 08:08 PM

*hugs nicole*

nicole94 26-04-2010 08:12 PM

*hugs kat*

katnovia 26-04-2010 08:22 PM

*curls up in the corner under a duvet and shakes*

nicole94 26-04-2010 08:24 PM

*joins kat in corner and hugs*

Doikers 26-04-2010 08:24 PM

I'm going to bed . I've so had about enough of today .
Bad day.
Start afresh ( With a brand new scar ) tommorow .

"It will all be happy in the end , if it's not happy it's not the end"

Night night ward mates
* hopes it's not too early for bed , was up early so hopefully I'll sleep*

nicole94 26-04-2010 08:26 PM

*hugs mark and tucks him in* no sweetie, its not too early for bed if you feel like it, sorry you've had a bad day

PoisonedApple 26-04-2010 08:30 PM

*walks up to the tucked in Mark and gives him a super soft plushie to cuddle* It's never to early for bed if you need it.

*huggles everyone and sets timer then runs off for another 15 minute work session*

katnovia 26-04-2010 08:44 PM

*hugs back* I'm tired too. *curls up to sleep*

nicole94 26-04-2010 08:46 PM

*tucks kat in and hands teddy* night night

jonikd 26-04-2010 09:30 PM

*creeps in and hugs everyone quietly*

Hayley, Helen, Laura, thanks heaps for your individual comments, tbh 10 days didn't feel like any achievement until you gals said what you did. And I guess you're right, its the first 10 days of 2 months, or 20 months or....11 days ;)

*hugs Crimson back tight*

April, right now you'll be doing your talk, so I am sending you strength and courage and I bet you're doing great x

To everyone else, keep looking after each other in here, you guys are doing a good job.

*hugs and wanders off aimlessly*

PoisonedApple 26-04-2010 09:36 PM

Ohhhh I missed commenting back on the 10 days! *throws confetti and twirls noise maker* YAY! Congrats!

Kahlia1981 26-04-2010 11:44 PM

*hugs everyone*

Sorry it isn't more.

*sits down in a dark corner and starts crying*

frenchhorn 27-04-2010 12:09 AM

*comes over to corner, offers Kahlia a tissue, hug and a listening ear*
whats up?

MammaMia 27-04-2010 12:16 AM

*cuddles everyone and then curls up in a hidden space* :(

Kahlia1981 27-04-2010 12:38 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Just really not doing well right now. Bad SI urges and suicidal ideation and thoughts. So sick of fighting to live.

*cuddles Helen*

*cuddles everyone*

Scarletdreamer 27-04-2010 01:23 AM

*cuddles everyone* I made it through my presentation!!! and I only said "ummm" 61 or 62 times in 10 minutes... :-/ Not good. But oh well, at least it's over!! *bounces* I also got the most questions from professors etc. than anyone else did (there were three other presenters) :( boo hiss, I don't know if I handled that well. I also SI'd because I was so anxious, so another ugly misshapen scar from scratching. :'(

Oh well. At least it's OVER. And I am practically DONE with senior sem. :) Sorry no individual replies, am just popping on and popping off to let you all know that it went okay. :) And everyone, thanks for the prayers/good wishes/thoughts that you sent my way!!

*more cuddles for everyone*

PoisonedApple 27-04-2010 01:27 AM

*huggles April* I'm sure you did a good job, anxious or not. Proud of you for getting through it :D

MammaMia 27-04-2010 01:28 AM


frenchhorn 27-04-2010 01:54 AM

nice one on making it through April, I'm sure you will have done really well. *cuddles*

*cuddles Kahlia lots* awww hun, you can be strong and make it through, have you got any distractions, or anyone you can talk to?

*cuddles Crimson and Helen* how are you both?

PoisonedApple 27-04-2010 01:59 AM

*hugs Oliver* I dunno I made it through the day so far in 15 minute increments...
I redid my desk... half of it looks kinda cluttered I imagine but now stuff is more accessible and I got rid of stuff I didn't need... The other half shows the evidence of removing things since it's empty lol.

How are you doing Oliver?

frenchhorn 27-04-2010 02:26 AM

lol, I need to desperatly tidy my room, its really bad, just music and paper everywhere.
I'm really stressing over my essays, need to do a load of reading and get quotes for my class on wed, but got 7 hours of rehearsal tomorrow, so going to print it off in a break and probs end up doing it in rehearsal, or late at night after youth group.
I'm not doing so great, lesson today I was so tense, my knuckles were going white I was gripping the horn so hard, teacher tried to get me to relax.
counselling appointment was ok, bit shorted cos he had to dash off somewhere, but started to look at the roles i have in my life and whether they are fixed or not, quite scary that like only 2 are fixed.
then horn class after, been out at uni now for at least a month, but just complete name and pronoun fail with my teacher and the 2 other students, I'm going to start correcting people soon, its been enough time.

xxjuliexx 27-04-2010 03:34 AM

*gives everyone hugs and flowers and then goes and pretends to be invisable in a corner*

Kahlia1981 27-04-2010 09:28 AM

*hugs everyone then sits down in a corner and cries*

jonikd 27-04-2010 09:54 AM

awww Kahlia hun, come here *hugs and cries a little too* what's up hun?

*hugs Helen too* we always find you when you hiding hun, you ok?

Crimson, thanks sweetheart, but its really not worth confetti and stuff, it kinda just happened and it might be a bit early to start the celebrations. That sounds really negative, sorry.....*starts again* thanks sweetheart, that's awesome confetti and oh, what a noise those noise makers make. *hugs tight* 15 minute intervals are good *nods*

*breathes a huge sigh of relief* glad you got through the talk April, and I know how hard you are on yourself so I'm sure you done AWESOME. SI not so awesome, but I understand and I hug you.

*cuddles Oliver* cos he's around

*finds Julie, hugs her, and pops her back*

I not great, but will survive another day. I had a bit of a miscommunication with a friend and she's real upset and I didn't really mean it and now its all messy, but tomorrow's another day and I'll just have to try again. Maybe.

*hugs everyone lovingly*
I real appreciate you all here you know

frenchhorn 27-04-2010 10:04 AM

*cuddles JK* yeah tomorrow is another day, I hope you can sort things out with your friend.

*hugs Kahlia*

I have 9 continuous hours of rehearsal, with only an hour break in the middle today, really not in the mood.

xxjuliexx 27-04-2010 10:12 AM

^^ it's like 8:15 at night
how r u all?
*hugs everyone*

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