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MammaMia 17-04-2010 02:52 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Laura, I'm just really struggling. So much stuff with my best friend (some of it relating to this week) & other stuff. I just want to run & run from it & get away from it for a while. But I can't :'(

Kahlia1981 17-04-2010 03:03 AM

*hugs all*


MammaMia 17-04-2010 03:22 AM

I know the feeling Kahlia. Keep going sweetheart. Every minute, hour, day you struggle with this, is that little bit closer to happiness again. *snuggles*

jonikd 17-04-2010 03:45 AM

*hugs Helen and Kahlia* You girls are doing it tough huh, wish there was something I could do or say for you both that would actually help. You are both such lovely supportive people and I thank you for hanging round with us lot x

Oliver, good luck with your concert, you'll do awesome, you just have to believe in yourself as much as we do ok! *begs Oliver to come play for us on the ward soon*

*watches Laura complete another lap* I'm guessing that you're still out there doing your relay for life, I am very impressed, that's a very cool thing to be doing for others. We have the same thing here in NZ, maybe I'll put my hand up next time *thanks Laura for being so inspiring*

Crimson, its great that whilst I was sleeping your housing issues kind of sorted themselves out. However I was hopeful that with said housing issue you might contemplate the move to NZ more seriously ;)

Mark, hun, unrequited love sucks hey. But with the feeling you have for Hannah P you know you can feel like that, and if its not her it will be some other lucky lady OK? Personally I think you should tell her how you feel, but I probably wouldn't take my advice given I'm now single after a 15 year relationship :D

April, honey, you sound like you are very smart, all those awards and scholarships, and you converse so easily about anything on here. I for one am honoured to have you as a ward mate, and am certainly NOT sick of you one little bit.
And yes, last night they treated me completely fine, cos I lied about how I did it and we laughed and joked and I was my usual charming self. I hate lying, but I'm desperate to stay out of the public MH system here and SI isn't that well accepted here, funnily enough.

I went for a cycle this morning and visited a couple of friends, now housework is calling and I'm babysitting tonight, so apart from being a bit down, very sore, and feeling somewhat sorry for myself, I'm in pretty good shape.

*cuddles each and every person (and puppy) on the ward*

MammaMia 17-04-2010 03:54 AM

*cuddles with JK*

I really wish I was asleep. >.> Sleep & not wake for a while. Yes please. I wonder if my Mum will wake through the night again. Poor thing :(

Kahlia1981 17-04-2010 03:59 AM

*hugs all*

JK: I don't know why, but I got a line from Shrek 2 stuck in my head after reading your post: Oh, you've got a puppy? I wanna smother him in shampoo! Sometimes my head really scares me ...

jonikd 17-04-2010 04:18 AM

:D that's a nice wee vision, summer day, bare feet on the grass, wet lathered up puppy shaking his soapiness all over your warm legs as you giggle...hmm my head is also a scary place.

*happily accepts cuddles, waves magic sleeping wand over Helen and heads back to cleaning the bathroom*

frenchhorn 17-04-2010 11:19 AM

*hugs Laura* I hope the relay went well.

*hugs April* I am certainly not sick of having you on here, your lovely and always so kind. I hope you managed to sleep ok last night and that you feel less anxious this morning.

*hugs JK* thanks for the good luck, yeah I'm trying to believe in myself, just starting to get really anxious and stressed about it now, but then I always get anxious before a performance so I'm used to it, but I still hate the feeling.

*hugs Helen, Crimson, Mark, Kahlia*

I'm off to have brunch in a minute, they let us have a lie in this morning as no rehearsals until we get to the venue, but that means a coach journey, I don't travel well and get really anxious and stressed about it,so I tend to sleep on coaches, but aparently I sleep really weirdly and move a lot and last year on way back from concert I was drawn on, although it was quite amusing.

I feel sick, why am I so anxious already, the concert isn't until 7.45 tonight, plus I had 2 horrible dreams last night which are making me feel rubbish.

*wonders off to corner*

Doikers 17-04-2010 01:21 PM

*Hugs group* I'm sorry so many of us are feeling anxious and generally crap , *makes coffee for everyone ( Decaff and normal )*

Kahlia1981 17-04-2010 01:34 PM

*hugs all*


Scarletdreamer 17-04-2010 02:20 PM

*cuddles all*

Jarrod & I may be off to the mall in a bit... which will be nice, just some us-time, although my best friend is invited (if she gets the text in time, lol). He wants to look at motorcycles... and I want to go to Hot Topic and see what's on clearance.

He's on furlough now which means that he won't be getting paid except unemployment for the next month, possibly three. Eugh. And then he's planning on putting off college until spring so I have more time to find a job (hopefully - prayers about this would be appreciated!!) and get settled into a new routine. It'll be nice to have him around the apartment more, and not be smelly from work (oil etc.), but I'll have to find elsewhere to SI... although I haven't SI'd at home lately at all. Just on campus.

Anyway. Sorry no individual replies... am exhausted, got up at 5am AGAIN today... :(

*more cuddles*

jonikd 17-04-2010 02:52 PM

*hugs everyone*

Oliver, make sure you let us know how you get on x

April,I praying for all of us hun.

* cuddles Mark, Helen, Kahlia, Laura, Crimson and all the other lurking ward mates*

Kahlia honey, hang in there ok?

Love to you all, sweet dreams xx

frenchhorn 17-04-2010 03:32 PM

*cuddles April* I hope you have a good time at the mall, is that a shopping centre type thing?? sorry get confused sometimes with american english. good luck with finding a job, just wanted to say everytime you ask for prayers, I always think of you, I don't pray-am a very strong atheist and actually would really appreciate no one saying they are praying for me, offends me a little, this isn't to say I have anything against religion, its just me, but I think of you and I hope that, that is ok. sorry rambling now

*hugs mark* thanks for the coffee, but I don't like it sorry, but I'm going to have a banana instead.

*hugs Kahlia*

*hugs JK* yeah I will let you all know how it goes, will not be until tomorrow morning though as we get back after the internet goes off.

I'm off in 30minutes, anxious, but looking forward to it as well, because hopefully all the hard work of the week will pay off.

*cuddles all*

Doikers 17-04-2010 08:58 PM

*Sends out positive thoughts Olivers way as he should be playing right about now*

Doikers 17-04-2010 09:10 PM

I DON'T enjoy anything .
I CAN'T Concentrate on anything.
I eat too much and cut again and yet they are the only two things I want to do more of, it's all I'm good at Eat/Cut/Eat/Cut.
I'm useless.
I'm worthless.
I've had enough of this.......of this life.

Sorry so be so whiney.

*Hides in a dark corner*

Kahlia1981 17-04-2010 10:13 PM

*hugs all*

Oliver: I hope the play went well. :) Chookas/Break a leg/etc. The last show I can remember doing was in 2008 - "Thoroughly Modern Millie" - but I used to be heavily involved with doing Eisteddfodeau, musicals, plays, dance productions and Theatre Restaurants in both on-stage and back-stage capacities. There's nothing quite like the thrill.

April: I hope you had a good time at the mall. *cuddles*

JK: I'm trying to hang in ... I really am. But I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle against a growing mountain of skulls or something.

*offers to sit with Mark* I'm sorry that I don't have any words for you at the moment. If I could fix the problem for you, for any of us, I would. :(

*hugs everyone she can find on the ward*

Doikers 17-04-2010 10:20 PM


*offers to sit with Mark*
Thanx Kahlia , I could use someone to sit with , I've been lurking on here most of the day , I just took 2 Diaz's so I am heading to bed shortly,
Tommorow will be a better day , I Demand it !
*Hugs Kahlia*

MammaMia 17-04-2010 10:21 PM

**** it all.
Please don't let me be right about something.

SoMuchMore 17-04-2010 10:52 PM

*hugs JK* i hope that you had a nice time visiting friends and u have fun babysitting tonight.
I liked ur comment about watching me completing another lap.. i walked a little over a half marathon last night and now im very sore lol. Although i feel like i shouldnt be b/c it was just walking.. i guess thats an awful lot tho.

*hugs helen* im sorry that things are so hard right now. You can make it through this tho hun. Hang in there.

*hugs oliver* Good luck with your concert! Sorry ur so anxious, but i bet it'll go great! Let us know how it went.

*hugs april* maybe it'll be good that it'll be harder to SI at home. Maybe u'll be able to slow down or stop altogether. Im sorry ur so tired. Im exhausted too (after staying up all night and all lol).

*hugs mark* you arent being whiny at all. And you are not worthless at all! Hang in there.

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that you are having a hard time right now. I wish i had some words to make you feel better hun.

As i said, relay went well. That girl didn't wind up showing so, it was even better for me lol. Im sore and tired tho. And feel like i wasted a day b/c i slept from 8am to 2:30pm afterwards. I was supposed to get some things done today but i feel completely unproductive.

jonikd 18-04-2010 01:00 AM

*hugs dear wee Helen*
*tucks Mark in*
*gives Kahlia the courage to KEEP fighting*
*applauds Oliver's performance*
*is very proud and amazed by Laura's 20 something kms* You need to sleep hun, you haven't wasted a day, you've given of yourself for like 24 hours and the body needs to sleep huh.

*sits quietly for a minute and tries to think of nice stuff*

MammaMia 18-04-2010 01:05 AM

*cuddles everyone* I'm sorry.

*sits with JK*

jonikd 18-04-2010 01:15 AM

Don't be sorry hun. Thanks for sitting with me, kinda need the company today.

*cuddles Helen and continues sitting quietly*

MammaMia 18-04-2010 01:22 AM

*stays sitting with you, cuddles & doesn't let go*

jonikd 18-04-2010 01:25 AM

Thanks hun,I feel better already.

*stays safely snuggling for another 15mins before going to discuss grown up stuff with the ex*

MammaMia 18-04-2010 01:27 AM

That's good.

I spy Kahlia *snuggles tight*

Scarletdreamer 18-04-2010 01:34 AM

I feel so ****. Exhaustion, I think, is a huge contributing factor.

Won't go into details here... it's just frustrating. :'( Stuff with my husband... but at least everything with my bestie is cleared up - she came over this afternoon and we just talked, about this and that and everything. :)

*cuddles Hels* What's up?

*cuddles Kahlia, JK, Oliver, Laura, Hayley, Crimson, Mark, and anyone else I'm forgetting...*

MammaMia 18-04-2010 01:38 AM

*cuddles April tight*

Kahlia1981 18-04-2010 01:43 AM

*cuddles everyone*

April: This, that and everything ... is that like "life, the universe and everything" (the answer of course being 42)? *big hugs*

*gently holds Hels*

*leaves hugs for anyone who walks in and the pats and plays with Puppy SinClair because she misses her poor deceased doggie*

MammaMia 18-04-2010 01:55 AM

This programme is so sad. Can relate soooo much :'(

*huigs everyone lots*

SoMuchMore 18-04-2010 05:25 AM

*hides in corner and cries.. and cries..* I dont want any of this.

frenchhorn 18-04-2010 08:47 AM

*cuddles all*

the concert was interesting, but not in a good way, well I feel really mixed about it, because I was really pleased with my solos, nailed them all and loads of people who had never spoken to me before said they were really beautiful and there were a few others who played amazing solos, but overall it wasn't great, as a whole the band made so many mistakes we have never made before and the conductor wasn't pleased, whic I hate because he is amazing, a really great guy, funny and great to work with and I hate feeling like we have really let him down, but a lot of the new people in the band didn't seem to care, or thought it was ok, but it really wasn't good enough considering its a national wind band. I just hope this afternoons one goes one hell of a lot better, but part of the problem was we only had 45mins between rehearsal and concert, so it was eat food really quick, get changed and on stage so not enough time to get into concert mode and I think some people were still in rehearsal mode, but today we should have longer, so meh in two minds about it, anyway I'm sure you didn't want to hear all that so I'm going to shut up now.

*sits with Laura and offers a tissue* whats up?

Kahlia1981 18-04-2010 08:52 AM

Oliver: That happens sometimes. We took out 1st place with (both) the Symphony Orchestra and Concert Band 1 when I was in high school in a National Competition, but I've been in bands (and onstage in shows) where some people just haven't managed to get their heads out of rehearsal mode. Of course, nerves can play a bigger part than people realise ... especially with wind instruments.

*offers everyone hugs*

jonikd 18-04-2010 09:22 AM

*cuddles everyone real tight*

Weekends in the ward pretty quiet huh, seems lots of us struggling right now :(

*hopes tomorrow is better than the last couple of days for us all*

SoMuchMore 18-04-2010 09:33 AM

*hugs oliver* Im sorry that your concert didn't go as well as you hoped, its annoying when ppl don't seem to care about things as much as you do... Its great that you nailed your solos tho! Good job! And good luck with the next one!

*hugs kahlia* hows it going?

*hugs JK* yeah, ppl are busier on the weekends i think. You okay?

Im off to bed soon considering its 2:30am here. I wish i felt better. At least i've stopped crying i guess so i should be able to fall asleep. My thoughts are just going in circles.

jonikd 18-04-2010 09:40 AM

*hugs Laura* I am the opposite all over the place here, busier in the week and a different time zone :(

2.30 is a good effort, off to bed with you young lady. I'm glad you feeling a teensy bit better, get some sleep hun *hugs and tucks in*

Kahlia1981 18-04-2010 11:29 AM

*hugs everyone then sinks sadly into a lonely dark hole that only she knows about*


jonikd 18-04-2010 11:31 AM

*nods and knows about her own dark hole*

*hugs Kahlia before she heads down said hole*

Doikers 18-04-2010 11:49 AM

*Hugs for everyone who needs them and everyone who doesn't too*

Well Done on nailing your solo's Oliver :-)

nicole94 18-04-2010 12:39 PM

hey guys, im back :D lol, :/ sorry about my mum banning me from the laptop. it was really unfair! i really cannot be botherd to read through all the other posts. so hows everyone been?

i had a pretty crappy birthday because my sister was stroppy and started arguments with everyone, but i had a really good day yesterday, went shopping with all my birthday money, and sent all 150 of it :/ and then went to a BBQ at my friends house :D and i've only just woke up, so i dont really know how im feeling yet today

Doikers 18-04-2010 12:44 PM

I'm sorry your sister was stroppy on your day :(


and i've only just woke up, so i dont really know how im feeling yet today
^^I hope you have a great day today :-)

nicole94 18-04-2010 12:46 PM

lol, thanks mark *hugs* how're you?

Doikers 18-04-2010 01:01 PM

*Hugs Nicole*
I've been worse , I'm definately feeling better than I was last night , It's Noon so I hope my mood doesn't dip like it has been doing . my mind is starting to race though so I'm going to go out put on my headphones and walk to the shops for a Lotto ticket to distract it .

nicole94 18-04-2010 01:03 PM

lol, aaw bless, sorry you've not been feeling too good, hope you have a better day today x

MammaMia 18-04-2010 02:00 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Well done on your solos Oliver, hope today's overall preformance goes better.

Laura, Kahlia, JK & April, I hope you're all feeling a bit better.

Mark, hope you're hanging in there, I seees you!!!

Nicole, sorry you had bit of a bad day for your birthday but yay for monies!!! Have you seen your birthday thread that JK made? :)

*cuddles everyone lots & lots*

nicole94 18-04-2010 02:02 PM

*cuddles helen* thanks hun, yeah i commented on it lol. how're you feeling?

Doikers 18-04-2010 02:07 PM

*Hugs Helen*
I'm hanging on in there yep , how are you doing ? I seees you too :P

MammaMia 18-04-2010 02:12 PM

*cuddles Nicole & Mark*

Nicole, glad you've seen it :)
Mark, glad you're hanging in there :D

To answer the same question that you've both asked :P I'm rather hyper for some reason, dreading hitting the low again when it's over. Plus I think I have an infection or something. Joy >_> To top it off, I have to go see my Nan, but this one (lol I see my other nan - mum's mum every week nearly) I don't get on well with. Ho hum!!

nicole94 18-04-2010 02:15 PM

lol. being hypers fun! im MAJORLY bored. its nice and sunny and hot, and i cant think of a thing to do!!
lol. maybe you can make the visit to your nan as short as possible??

MammaMia 18-04-2010 02:49 PM

Oh I intend to, believe me!!! Wooo for sun. It's gone in here >_> Probably will be cold in my outfit now LOL!!!

nicole94 18-04-2010 02:51 PM

lol. we have like 2 little wisps of cloud, and thats it!! i'm considering going outside and sunbathing!!

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