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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 15-04-2010 03:19 PM

*Hugs April*Vince is right , you ARE a lovley person , I wish you could beleive that .I beleive it of you.

SoMuchMore 15-04-2010 03:23 PM

*cuddles april* you are a wonderful person! Its good that ur talking to people. Im sorry that your friends upset you.. I dont think it was very nice for the one to try to play a trick on you.

*gently hugs helen* Im sorry your not doing well hun.

*hugs kahlia, mark, JK, crimson, oliver, and anything else that is around* how is everyone doing?

Sorry that I didnt do many individual replies, Im kinda in a hurry this morning... class and then lunch with one of my friends... which will prolly turn into a vent session about all the f***kin drama out here. I feel like im back in high school with how ppl are acting. Anyway, I messages one of my friends and told him I needed to talk to him... as of right now i am hoping that i am able to tell him what is going on with me, rather than lying about how i am like ive been doing the past few weeks. He told me awhile ago he was impressed by how well ive been handling everything that is going on with me and I almost feel kinda guilty that he thinks that, b/c its a lie... Idk... I might chicken out and automatically put up a mask.. but i think i might try to talk to him.

Doikers 15-04-2010 03:31 PM

*hugs Laura* I hope you can talk honestly to your friend and not put your mask up automatically , it really might help to speak with someone , Good luck :)

MammaMia 15-04-2010 03:50 PM

*hugs April* I agree with Mark & Vince.

*hugs Laura* Hope you can talk to your friend & stuff.

Am attempting to make myself make phone calls >.> Dreading this. Hate it :@ So many phone calls to make...

Doikers 15-04-2010 03:55 PM

*Hugs Helen* Good luck with your phone calls

MammaMia 15-04-2010 04:00 PM

Thanks. Already made one. Shaking. Pathetic much?

Doikers 15-04-2010 04:06 PM

*hugs* you're not pathetic Helen , I'm sorry you are shaking . do you have any cammomille tea or anything that could maybe calm you ?

MammaMia 15-04-2010 04:08 PM

No. I'll be fine. Just being silly :( *hugs*

Kahlia1981 15-04-2010 04:36 PM

*hugs everyone*

*hugs Hels* I have the same problem when I have to make phone calls. 9 times out of 10 I have to write down almost exactly word for word what I want to say or I just freeze up. Keep it up gurl, you're doing well.

*hugs April, Mark, Laura & anyone I've missed*

Man I wish I could sleep. I keep trying but I just can't nod off. My brain just won't shut down. The program it's running isn't anything bothersome, but it just won't let me sleep. *grumble, grumble*

*tries to find a nice, dark corner of the ward in which to curl up and go to sleep*

MammaMia 15-04-2010 04:48 PM

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm sorry you have the same problem, it sucks. I have the annoying problem of that I can't hear that well anyway!! Plus making phone calls, make me anxious & stress me out. Or perhaps it's the thought of it? Keep trying to ring this place about my jobseekers claim but I keep putting the phone down :/ Blah >.>

Hope you can sleep soon sweetheart *snuggles*

Doikers 15-04-2010 04:53 PM

*Makes Kahlia some Rooibos Tea*

My Social Worker is 20 minutes late and not answering his mobile ............ he just rang ! he won't make it today but will be here at 9am tommorow! ugh .

Kahlia1981 15-04-2010 06:25 PM

*hugs Helen* - How are you going with that phonecall hun? Remember: big, deep breaths. If you need to, walk away from the phone. Then when you walk back, just try again. You'll get there darl. Just don't get angry at yourself. Phone anxiety can be a b*tch, especially if you are a bit worried they'll try and do the whole interview.

*hugs Mark* - Thanks for the tea. At least your SW got in touch with you. It's a bit of a shame that the appointments been postponed though.

As you can gather I still haven't been able to fall asleep. It's now 2:25 am. To be honest, I've pretty much given up on sleep for the night, even though it will make tomorrow all that much harder.

Right now, all I want to do is curl up in a corner and bawl my eyes out. :'(

MammaMia 15-04-2010 06:32 PM

I gave up on the phone calls :( Least I made one right?

*cuddles and sits with Kahlia* I'm sorry you can't sleep. I feel like curling up in ball & bawling my eyes out too.

Scarletdreamer 15-04-2010 06:44 PM

*cuddles Kahlia, Helen, Mark, Laura, and anyone else I'm forgetting*

I'm sorry you all are having such a difficult time. :( I hate making phone calls too but I called the internship place again and this time got through to the director!! :D That made me really pleased, as I was worried that I wouldn't. We talked for about 10 minutes, setting up plans etc. She's going to call my advisor shortly so she can set up more stuff. YEY!!! It looks like - if this gets finalized on time - that I will be starting middle of May for at least 6 weeks. Will be good distraction, I suppose... :-/

But anyway. I don't know if I have one class or not today, so I am going to go over and see (health psych) - we're supposed to be doing physical/psychological work-ups on volunteers (one per person in the class) but mine hasn't emailed me back... so I don't know if she is still interested. >_< I feel rushed... so much to do in so little time, it feels like!!


PoisonedApple 15-04-2010 06:51 PM

JK ~ It was good.... spent more time there than I was intending but it was awesome. I think the gym time is rehabing my knee too so I've fallen in love with going to the gym lol

Kahlia and April ~ do any of your local gyms have trials? The one I'm doing now is a seven day free trial... I can't afford to pay for the gym till next month. But I also get a discount when I do sign up for a regular membership because I'm a state employee. 39$/mo instead of 49$ to 69$/mo.
I did have a good time though. Yeah the short term pain prolly wouldn't be so pain ish if I wasn't so random lol. Instead of doing cardio every other day and strength training the other days I do everything each day I go. (Start with cardio then do some strength training then more cardio then home.)My abs hurt but I can actually feel the muscles under the fat and my husband says I look smaller around so I'm ok with a little ache.

Helen~ You do matter. And I'm glad you didn't have nightmares.

Mark~ They didn't tell you till your last session that it was the last?

*huggles everyone in the ward and sits to play with Puppy Sinclair*

Doikers 15-04-2010 07:54 PM


Mark~ They didn't tell you till your last session that it was the last?
Nope . Never mind , I knew it was coming at some point I was just surprised with the suddeness of it all .
I eat far too much tonight , feel like a total pig , ugh , it's not like I even enjoyed it,Idiot!
I don't enjoy anything at the moment , I just "exist" . Does that make sense?

Doikers 15-04-2010 07:57 PM

*hugs Helen* Well done on making that one phone call :)

PoisonedApple 15-04-2010 08:05 PM

Yeah that makes sense, Mark. *hug*

MammaMia 15-04-2010 09:25 PM

*curls up*

Thanks Mark xx

Kahlia1981 15-04-2010 09:26 PM

Helen: *big hugs* Well done on making the one call darl. There's always tomorrow right? I'm sorry you feel like curling up and crying. I can pass you a tissue if you need it, and I'm always here with a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear my friend.

April: That phone call to the internship place sounds good. :D I really hope it goes well hun. *big hugs*

Crimson: Unfortunately none of the gyms here have a trial period. Cardio you can do every day, but if you intend to do strength training every day you really should split it so that you are working different muscle groups and allowing the others to rest ... I don't know if that made sense. Sorry if it didn't. :S *hugs you*

Mark: If you've just started trying to be careful with what you eat and are trying to put a lifestyle change into place, try to allow yourself a bit of slack. I'm sorry that you aren't feeling enjoyment at the moment. *hugs you*

Anyone else who I've missed, or who wanders in: *huggles you*

It's now 5:26 am and I still haven't slept. I gave up a few hours ago. Now I'm just waiting for a reasonable time to go and get ready for my busride to the hospital. *sigh* Meh. So d*mn over this.

PoisonedApple 15-04-2010 09:30 PM

It made sense and I do know that... but I dunno the first day at a new gym is like being a kid on christmas day with lots of presents lol... I wanna play with everything, especially the stuff I haven't ever done before. :D

Kahlia1981 15-04-2010 09:32 PM

Crimson - I know exactly what you mean. I had a premium membership at a gym for a while, which meant I had access to pretty much the whole gym, and I just wanted to "play" with everything.

MammaMia 15-04-2010 09:35 PM

I'm sorry I've not really replied to posts, not upto it. I really feel like crying more than ever :( Meh...Thanks Kahlia <3

jonikd 15-04-2010 10:14 PM

*bounces in and waves happily at everyone* power of positive thinking, worth a go right?

Mark, it sounds like people are letting you down atm, and that really sucks. I know how it feels hun and I don't have any great advice other than you can do this, and you will get more support. Make sure you talk honestly with your SW when you eventually see him 'K

Kahlia, nice work on getting to the shops, sometimes its the little things we do that give us hope for the bigger stuff. That sleep issue is a worry, can you ask someone about maybe some medication to help for a bit? *hugs and sings lullaby*

Helen, sweetheart, you are really struggling huh. I feel for you so much and pray that today is better for you.Crying might help hun, sit in the bottom of the shower and cry all you need to, then have a big tuppa tea and a sleep and you might feel a bit better. *cuddles gently and offers shoulder*

*searches out April* You are doing so well still getting on with things even though you're anxious and not in a great space. Keep going sweet, things will get better *nods and believes in you*

Laura I really hope you managed to speak to your friend, my p-therapist told me yesterday I had to start being more honest with my friends, and that it was my choice, which I guess it is but its not that easy huh.

*hugs Crimson and gives her a bunch of flowers* thanks to your motivation I got out on my bike for an hour this morning, and feel some friendly endorphins kicking around. How you doing today/tonight?

*shouts out for Nicole* anyone seen her around here?

Anyway, another big day at work then will try to fill up my weekend to keep me out of trouble. Cut again last night, but nowhere near as bad. Today feeling fragile but in a cuddly way if that makes any sense. So pleased to have you all here for hugs on demand, I could hug the whole world today, just to get some back.

*snuffles into Puppy Sinclair and has a wee cry*

Love to you all, you're all special people who have a wee place in my heart.


MammaMia 15-04-2010 10:22 PM

*cuddles JK* I'm sorry you've cut again hun. Please look after your wounds & yourself. *snuggles* I've tried being in a shower, sitting & crying, but I can't do it? LOL. I hate water getting in my face anyway :( The cry will happen sooner or later, probably when I don't want it too. *sighs* I do wonder where Nicole's got to, oh yeah, just remembered, she's been banned from coming online for a week or something. It's her birthday tomorrow :D

jonikd 15-04-2010 10:30 PM

*cuddles back* I'm OK, and thanks yes I will look after them, I've had plenty of practice over the years..lol. My second best crying place at the moment is my car in the dark, listening to loud music, but yeah you're right it will come and you hopefully will get some relief when it does. *holds Helen and offers her a safe place to cry herself silly*

*waves to Oliver, and apologises for forgetting him in my last post*

MammaMia 15-04-2010 10:32 PM

Thanks JK *cuddles*

I spy April *jumps on* :P

PoisonedApple 15-04-2010 10:42 PM

*gets panicked and stops filling out paperwork to hide in the ward*

Doikers 15-04-2010 10:50 PM

*Hugs ward mates*

MammaMia 15-04-2010 10:56 PM

*hugs everyone*

Kahlia1981 15-04-2010 11:44 PM

*huggles everyone*

JK - Sleep meds don't work on me. I took 2 2mg Xanax last night and still didn't sleep. It's a bit of a concern. I guess we just have to wait and see what happens. :(

frenchhorn 15-04-2010 11:46 PM

*cuddles all*

been out to pub tonight with people from course, had to come back early because it got crowded and I got really anxious and freaked out so had to go.

*hides in corner*

PoisonedApple 15-04-2010 11:50 PM

*cuddles Oliver* Well did you have a good time while you were out?

MammaMia 15-04-2010 11:53 PM

*cuddles everyone*

I feel so ****. Bleh. I think I've upset my best friend (the one in hospital). Hmm.

SoMuchMore 16-04-2010 01:09 AM

*hugs oliver* that sucks that u got anxious.. I hope you had a good time for awhile tho.

*hugs helen* im sorry that your not doing well today hun. *more cuddles*

*hugs kahlia* No sleep at all sounds awful. Hope you fall asleep tonight! *plays relaxing sleep music*

*cuddles april* That sounds great about the internship place. Good job on making the phone call! Sorry that you've been so anxious lately. It really sucks.

*hugs mark* How r u doing tonight?

*huggles jk* Glad that you took care of your cuts, but sorry that you had to do them in the first place :-/ I hope you are able to make lots of plans for the weekend.. keeping busy really is helpful.

*hugs crimson* Why did you panic? Hope everything is okay.... O and I like playing on all the stuff at the gym too lol. Although i dont belong to one right now as i couldnt afford it. Hopefully next year they are opening one on my campus that will be included in the tuition.

I havent managed to talk to my friend yet but i messaged him and told him that i needed to so hopefully in the next few days...
*curls up in a ball and tries not to cry*

MammaMia 16-04-2010 01:17 AM

Something's happened/happening asdjiofh >.> Please let her be alright. Please? :'(

SoMuchMore 16-04-2010 01:38 AM

*cuddles helen* what has happened? I hope your friend is alright. You ok hun?

PoisonedApple 16-04-2010 01:50 AM

I'm filling out papers to get housing assistance (my rent goes up more than my pay does) and I have too many people in my house... It gets me moved more to the top of the list with AHFC but if they tell my landlord I have 2 sister in laws a friend and her infant staying in my apt too then I'll get kicked out. So either I lie to AHFC and wait even longer to get help affording a roof over my kids' heads or I risk being homeless.... If AHFC finds out I lied then I will be denied help. It's so circular and screwed up... I don't know what to do but I know I need to finish the paperwork. *cries*

MammaMia 16-04-2010 02:07 AM


Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2243303)
*cuddles helen* what has happened? I hope your friend is alright. You ok hun?

*cuddles Laura* Well her aunt texted me saying she got called into hospital. I panicked as didn't know why. Turns out she'd been crying & fainted twice before her aunt got there. She was being moved when her aunt arrived & is speaking to doctor as we speak, so she'll probably find out more what happened & let me know. Or something...

Wish I was okay. Was seriously panicking & thought she was dead or something. Pathetic. :wow:

SoMuchMore 16-04-2010 03:20 AM

*cuddles crimson* o wow, im so sorry about your housing situation. Im not sure you should risk lying to them though... I think that might turn out worse.. although I wish something could be done for you now...

*cuddles helen* Well at least it sounds like your friend is going to be alright. Hope they figure out why she fainted.. maybe it was from be exhausted/dehydrated from crying... You are not pathetic in the least tho. You were worried about a friend. Thats not a pathetic thing.

Doikers 16-04-2010 09:51 AM

*Waves good morning*
My social worker should be here in 10 minutes, ugh I don't know what to say to him .
*Hugs Helen* I really hope your friend is alright ,
Crimson , your situation sounds really complicated I hope you can work it out *Hugs*

MammaMia 16-04-2010 11:56 AM

Things are getting worse for my best friend :( Things happened after I went offline, well they happened whilst I was online but I didn't know. She had a violent fit through the night & was moved to ICU :( She's got a nurse now for 24/7 as they think she'll take a turn for the worst again. *curls up* I hate this :(

jonikd 16-04-2010 12:26 PM

oh Helen, come here hun *cuddles* There's nothing you can do but keep believing ok? This must be **** for you, and I so feel your pain.

*hugs tight and prays with Helen for her friend*

jonikd 16-04-2010 12:27 PM

*waves at Mark* how'd your SW appointment go sweet?

MammaMia 16-04-2010 01:14 PM

*hugs JK tight* Thanks. It's more than **** :( Plus my ****er of a period decided to start four days early, thank you very ****ing much, NOT :@ It kills aha. *hides*

jonikd 16-04-2010 01:18 PM

*offers Helen a hottie* [in New Zealand a 'Hot Water Bottle' which is very comforting and fixes period pain instantly]

you'll be ok hun, I wish there was something I could do.

*hugs some more and hides with Helen*

Doikers 16-04-2010 01:24 PM

My SW apointment went ok thanx JK. I am a bit worried about a friend I met in hospital last year I haven't heard from him since Christmas and his phone goes to an automated message saying it's out of limits or something , he doesen't reply to my texts , and I wrote him a letter a couple of weeks ago and haven't had a reply , My SW rang up his mental health drop in place for me and they said there has been no sign of him:( the last time I coulden't get hold of him was becuase he had OD'ed so I'm worried yeah .

*Super Hugs Helen*

MammaMia 16-04-2010 01:31 PM

JK, I wish there was something *I* could do. I feel useless just sitting here waiting & waiting :( I think I may attempt a hottie :P But they don't usually help. *cuddles lots*

*hugs Mark lots* I'm sorry you're worried about a friend, is there any other way of contacting him? :( Or perhaps one of his friends or something? *cuddles* Hope you hear something soon & that he's ok.

jonikd 16-04-2010 01:35 PM

*hugs Mark and Helen gently* You two need to look after yourselves as well. We are all such lovely people and care so deeply about others, BUT it can't be at the expense of ourselves ok?

*keeps Mark & Helen safe*

Way past my bedtime here, you guys are like ready for lunch yeah? lol


jonikd 16-04-2010 01:36 PM

Oh and Helen, hotties always work here in New Zealand, maybe you need to relocate ;)

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