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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 10-10-2010 08:21 PM

The urges are there just below the surface , I took a bath and am a bit relaxed though I can't beleive it's still early I want to go to bed , all I'm thinking is "Is my friend Hannah alright?" and " you're almost 30" and I cannot beleive it , I'm really low about my birthday :(

Christmas music Lia! It's not the season yet is it ? Ho Ho Ho :)

FlyingNy 10-10-2010 08:26 PM

Of course it is! It's only month after next. I'm one of THOSE people who just gets really obsessive over Christmas.

*Hugs* I hope your friend is OK. Why not text her or something, just to check she's feeling alright? Turning 30 isn't that bad, it could be worse, it could be 60. I know you were hoping to have stopped SI by the time you were 30, but you're not doing it every day, I don't know if that's an improvment or not, but I'm certainly proud of you for it :)

Doikers 10-10-2010 08:40 PM

Oh Lia , Thankyou for being proud of me , My Self Injury is definatley increased in the last few months but I am trying SO very hard to stop , I'e started going to the Duel Diagnosis group , I'm meeting Becky the befriending woman weekly but haven't bought it up yet with her , It's hard to start talking about it , Imeet My nurse and volunteer lady and they both know , I haven't met my social worker in over 2 months as he got hurt but a woman came a few weeks ago to check his case load , I talked about it with my P Doc , AND I started volunteering with the view to boost my self esteem and confidence .. HHmmmm wow I'm doing a lot..... It's still hard....

FlyingNy 10-10-2010 08:51 PM

You should be proud that you're even trying so hard, I don't even do that half the time. I don't like myself enough to try and resist the urges, so you should be so pleased with yourself that you're simply trying. It is hard, like drugs or alcohol, this is an addiction and no one's just going to 'get over it'.

One the topic, not to sound heartless or anything, and I'm scared this is going to come out in the wrong way, but does anyone else feel that SI has became 'glamourised'? Like you have teenagers and stuff doing it over everything, like just a couple of times, almost as if it's the cool thing to do. Those people don't seem to understand the true addiction, the desperation of those who are hooked on harming themselves. I'm not saying they have no right to it, it's just those people who tell like, everyone who so much as brushes on the subject, when in reality it's a shameful secret that you only tell a select few you trust, of anyone at all. I don't know if that came out right at all, and I'm not saying certain people have the right and some don't, not at all. I'm just saying not everyone who's SI'd really truly understands.

Doikers 10-10-2010 09:02 PM

Lia , No I don't think I will just "get over it" , that would be nice though hmm?

As for your other question , I really don't know , I didn't really go to "normal school" and I don't know anyone I know who S.I.'s , It would be sad if people S.I.'d because they think it's glamourous , It could so easily spiral from that to out of control .....

FlyingNy 10-10-2010 09:13 PM

It just seems to me like some people do. It kinda makes me angry in a way because they have no idea what it's really like. What you'd really have to be feeling to deliberatly inflict that upon yourself. I remember when I very first did it. I don't want to go into details because it might trigger, but I remember promising never to do it again. 3 years later and I've not managed to keep that promise.

Doikers 10-10-2010 09:20 PM

I can understand why it would make you angry Lia, It makes light of our pain somewhat I think.

*Hugs Lia* Thanks for talking with me ,I'm tired so am going to bed soon , I know it's early but I'll be safe in bed all wrapped up in my blanket :) Safe from S.I. and I may sleep away the urges , even though they are under the surface now.

FlyingNy 10-10-2010 09:35 PM

Ok Mark, like you said, what are friends for :)

Goodnight, sleep well. *Hugs*

SparkleKitten 10-10-2010 10:00 PM

I remember when I first did it, but thats one of my first memories, been doing it for many years and noone who I confide in believes how long I've done it for because when I started I was too young to have bad feelings... People mostly suck

Had a rough weekend, new medication kinda makes me hallucinate a bit, and I can't focus.

*cuddles Lia and Mark* I kinda feel like a giraffe this time. Last time I was a badger. Strange. :/

nicole94 10-10-2010 10:33 PM

*huggles everyone*

misskitty112 10-10-2010 10:59 PM

*hugs everyone*
Sorry for going missing for the weekend. I went to camp. haha. Sorry. I don't know if anyone noticed I was gone or not, but I'm back.

I will give a proper update later. Love you guys.

katnovia 10-10-2010 11:35 PM

*huggles mark* I'm...surviving *shrugs*

risenfromperdition 11-10-2010 04:09 AM

me had fun today... cept unno why normal people eat so much and dont even care >.< but got to drool over people and actually say 'damn shes hot' and have ppl agree with me :P

risenfromperdition 11-10-2010 04:10 AM

and laura- you can talk to me anytime. tbh i really only trigger myself >.< hope you're kay. loveyou

will reply to everyone else later, am falling asleeeep

SoMuchMore 11-10-2010 07:54 AM

*hugs felicia* hope you had fun camping! i missed you over the weekend, was starting to get worried... I said i wondered where u were a few pages back. How r u else wise?

*hugs heather* glad you had a good day today :-) and thanks, i might message you on fb soon... i am starting to really need to talk to someone...

*hugs sarah* im sorry that you are having issues with your meds, can you talk to your doctor about it?

*hugs kat* good to hear from you! it sounds like things are great right now... is there anything we can do to help?

*hugs nicole* I missed you over the weekend too! its been awhile since you've posted. How are you?

*hugs lia* I know what you mean about some people glamorizing SI. Its sucks that people do it... but I guess its just reality that sometimes people do things for "attention" (<-- not always bad, but if its really fake pain then its hard to imagine it being okay) or to fit into a group. On a happier note - yay christmas music! :-)

*hugs mark* i think I have seen a definite improvement with you since the time you have been posting in the ward. I mean, we all have our up and down moments, but I can notice a difference with you overall. I think that is making great strides before you are 30! You'll kick the SI in the butt eventually, I really believe that. and I am proud of you too!

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that pain managment dismissed your complaints.. that really sucks. sounds like that guy was a real a**hole. You should at least put in a complaint. Hope the results of your medical stuff turn out okay/easily fixed and that your computer continues to play nice.

Had a busy day which was good i suppose, but it was quite long.. went on a coffee shop writing workshop for the magazine i am web editor for and then had work at the newspaper. Stressed about graduate school applications again, working on essays right now. I know this seems like a crap update, but trying to keep things kind of light right now before bed.

~Kaytee~ 11-10-2010 09:08 AM

*runs into the ward and sends cuddles and care packages to everyone*

WasteOfSpace 11-10-2010 10:36 AM

I've never been in here but Im feeling really triggered and really alone... I'm losing and confused n have no one...

~Kaytee~ 11-10-2010 12:02 PM

Has anything made you feel triggered? *cuddles gently* You have all of us here in the Psych ward, so don't feel alone xx

Doikers 11-10-2010 12:28 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Kat*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Waves to wasteofspace* Hello I'm Mark :)


EDIT:-
Well it took an effort and a half to pull myself out of bed in the morning today , Total lack of motivation , Feeling really low , 30th not helping I guess I'm going to whine about that a lot in the next few weeks so sorry in advance , I am a failure .

EDIT EDIT:- Oh and the 9th of November is the date I set myself when I was suicidal to kill myself , I was serious , But I've been adjusted meds wise and I am not as Suicidal but I still get thoughts of it, I just don't know how I'll cope with that day :S sorry

~Kaytee~ 11-10-2010 12:40 PM

*hugs Mark back* Lack of motivation aside and all, you've done well to get out of bed :) I hope you start to feel better though! And you are not a failure. Look after yourself today and keep hanging in there.


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