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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 13-04-2010 12:36 AM

Well done, Mark!! :D And also, Nicole, keep it up... :)

It's only gone on 6:30pm here now... dunno what time it is for you now though, JK. :)

I'm super anxious... well, maybe not "super," but anxious enough not to play WoW and to whimper instead. :( I feel like ****, I really do. :'(

I bandaged the cuts, don't want to know what it'll feel like in a bath with salts in it. Ugh.

Jarrod wants us to go camping, and I don't like camping especially much... it's just frustrating the differences that we have. Talked with my SW about that some this morning, kinda, I don't know. :(

Bedtime... want to go to sleep. :'( But it's only 6:30, can't go to bed yet. BOO HISS!!!

SoMuchMore 13-04-2010 12:38 AM

*high fives mark* great job!

*hugs helen, oliver, nicole, JK, april, hayley, and crimson*

The ward moved so fast today i couldnt keep up with being in and out for classes. Hope everyone is okay though.

Going to a softball game now... a few ppl i know put together an intramural team so i'm going to watch. Not really my kinda game but eh, its something to do i guess. I prolly wont be around much until tomorrow night... I have 40000 things to do btwen now and then.

MammaMia 13-04-2010 12:56 AM

*rocks back and forth* :'(

Scarletdreamer 13-04-2010 12:58 AM

*cuddles Laura* I hope that you get those 40000 things done... I know the feeling!! and it is very stressful. :( How are you doing?? and please don't say "fine" because we all know that that's usually a cover-up. Hehe. *more cuddles*

I just ate supper (soup) and am now too full... feel icky... want to purge. :'( I thought I was over this but no, it's coming back again... am so sick of this cyclical mess that I'm in. Shoot me now, please, someone!!! :'( And then there's the opposite, when I want to binge... and no reasoning can stop the urges. I HATE MYSELF!!!

I don't know. I just want to die. :'( There's so much **** I have to deal with now outside of school and I hate it all so much, including uni stuff. And it feels like death is the only way to make it stop...


Scarletdreamer 13-04-2010 12:59 AM

*holds Hels and rocks with her* What's up, sweetheart?

MammaMia 13-04-2010 01:00 AM


Scarletdreamer 13-04-2010 01:12 AM

Who, sweetie? *holds you and gently rubs your back* Maybe talk to her and tell her what you know about him? and if not, then if you're sure that he's that dangerous, talk to the police about it? Sorry if those are stupid suggestions...

I really need to take a bath and get ready for bed... I'm scared though, don't want any more weird dreams!! :crying:

Oh, and I called my old therapist today, about the $400+ bill that I got... no response yet. GRRRR. :( But at least I called without getting furious... that's a good thing...


MammaMia 13-04-2010 01:14 AM

She won't go back :( I can't make her. I respect her reasons why, but wish she'd go back to the police and for them to do something :'( *rocks*

Hope you don't have any weird dreams.

Go you for calling your therapist. Sorry there was no response :(

jonikd 13-04-2010 10:09 AM

*waits for everyone to wake up for hugs*

How's your hand Oliver? *hugs*

CrazyHayley 13-04-2010 10:56 AM

*huggles JK* Morning! Thanks for the waves earlier - I have spotted you sleeping in the corner a few times, but we've not managed to overlap our time difference before this!

*group huggles all - but gently for those still sleeping!*

Wow it really has been a busy ward, but I'd much prefer not being able to do all the individual replies due to volume of posts than there had only been a few posts and people feeling lonely. I have read through the 4pages though so I do know what's going on - *extra special huggles* and also some party poppers should've been used along with the high fives last night I think for nicole and mark.

Well I went to my development circle last night, determind not to let my PMDD win. Um, well I only cried about 5times and had a few fags and then found out after that they don't approve of smoking or 'blubbing'!! Whoops!! But hey, the majority of them there were really understanding as it was my first time and I'll know for future reference that if I've been chain smoking all day to keep the tears at bay, its probably not a good idea to go to circle! I still feel like I need to sob though to let it all out. I never cried properly due to the fact that as soon as I started I had to try and calm myself and stop. Urgh, I don't know if I want to start sobbing though - it won't change the situation, it'll just exhaust me and make my eyes sore.

*goes out to smoking shelter*

"oh puppy sinclair!! Come and join me!"

jonikd 13-04-2010 11:04 AM

*hugs Hayley back*
I'm well pleased to have someone to talk to,its been a lonely few hours here in the ward :(

*contemplates starting up smoking again so she can go with Hayley and puppy sinclair*

CrazyHayley 13-04-2010 11:11 AM

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as to not stink of fags*

Oh no JK, don't start smoking again, its nasty. Wish I'd never started, and I really should've known better as I was 25 when I started....though complex reasons for starting...I did know better but I wanted the bad stuff etc....anyhoo, stupid stupid!! You are always welcome in our always lovely garden in the psych ward though so we can still chat whilst I have a fag!

So what time are you on now? Will you be snuggling down for the night soon?

jonikd 13-04-2010 11:21 AM

*sighs with relief that someone's around again* Awww thanks, all the cool people at parties are outside smoking these days lol. Yeah I stopped when I was about 30, after 12 years of a pack a day. Every now and again I really miss it, normally when I'm feeling stressed out.

I have a new therapist starting this week, so will also be trying not to cry through the whole session, not allowed to smoke there anyway ;)

I've been really triggered tonight, for a bunch of relatively uninteresting reasons, so have taken my meds and waiting desperately for them to kick in to put me safely to ni nighs.

Its about 9.30pm here so a respectable time to sleep :)

*waves at Mark who has joined us too*

What are you all up to today?

CrazyHayley 13-04-2010 11:27 AM

Ah yes, I spy a mark! lol

Oh its horrid when you get triggered for reasons that never seem quite 'big' enough, if that makes sense. It's like somehow you don't feel quite justified, but if there are a whole bunch of those uninteresting reasons, then of course you're going to feel triggered. I'm glad that you've taken your meds and are hoping for an early and safe nights sleep.

Believe me, the cool people are not the ones outside freezing their arses off - stupid stupid!! though does it get chilly at all ever in NZ?

I'm planning on going to spiritual healing later - I'll probably cry...ho hum. My partner is still on his leave from the army (til sunday) so I think we'll probably get some lunch in town afterwards. other than that, nothing big planned.

Kahlia1981 13-04-2010 11:29 AM

*hugs everyone*

I cooked dinner tonight. I've struggled with cooking, both in relation to my ED thoughts and the movements since the shoulder surgery (and since the impingements started in November). My housemate really liked it. And when I told him I was sorry about all the mess he looked around the kitchen and was perplexed. I'd barely left anything behind.

Anyway feeling majorly triggered right now. Don't know why though. *shrugs*

I spy a Mark and a Hayley! - Hayley, I was typing when you posted your message. JK - I hope you managed to get to sleep.

*big hugs to everyone* && *a big pat for Puppy SinClair*

Doikers 13-04-2010 11:30 AM

*Waves at JK* I'm sorry you are feeling so triggered *Hugs* I hope your meds kick in soon and that you sleep well. Today I have auricular accupunture ( Where they put needles in your ears ) this afternoon and I'm about to go shopping and to the post office just waiting for my coffee to kick in lol . Not a hugley busy day but about as busy as I can do right now .:)

CrazyHayley 13-04-2010 11:40 AM

*huggles Kahlia* go you on cooking a successful dinner!! Shame that you're feeling so triggerred though.

*huggles mark* ooh accupuncture in ears sounds far better than when I had accupuncture all over - I was like a pin cushion, lol. Are you finding it helpful yet? Someone last night told me I should try accupressure as its more gentle than accupuncture and they feel I need gentleness! That may have something to do with my recurring crying though. And I think you've a nicely planned day and its good that you're managing that level of 'busyness'.

*gives JK some cammomile tea* it always helps me get off to sleep.

Time for me to get my arse in the shower and get ready for the day. I'll check back in later.

*group huggle!!!*

jonikd 13-04-2010 11:44 AM

*hugs everyone* Things are so much nicer with a few of you lot around *almost smiles even*

Kahlia, well done with cooking dinner, haven't caught up with how you've been going this last 24 hours. Sorry to hear you're triggered too. *hugs and sits beside you so we both don't do anything*

Mark, that ear stuff sounds painful! Good luck with that, and yes coffee pretty much fixes everything [except insomnia]

Sounds like you've got a nice day ahead Hayley, must be nice to have your man home for a while. It doesn't really get much below about 9 degrees celcius here in Auckland, probably quite tropical compared to your winters..lol

*leaves gentle cuddles for Helen* Hope you're ok hun, sorry I wasn't around for you yesterday

*leaves croissants and preserves and fresh juice for Laura, Nicole, April, Crimson and any of their friends who join them for brekkie*

Will try have a shower and go to bed now, I'm not really tired but if I can just get in and snuggle up,have a cry I should be OK. Man its tough huh, been thinking about SI all freakin day now....

Talk to you all tomorrow
*wanders off a litle aimlessly showering kisses and loves on all her ward buddies*

Scarletdreamer 13-04-2010 12:10 PM

Good morning, everyone!! *group cuddles*

JK, sleep well, no bad dreams allowed!!! :) I hope that tomorrow goes better than today did (sorry if that's confusing, lol)... being triggered all day is no good. And even uninteresting reasons are "allowed" to be talked about here if you want to. :P *hugs*

Hayley, good to see you about!! :D How're you feeling? and what's development circle? sounds a bit odd. Kind of a therapy group? Sorry if that's a dense question... :-X I hope that today goes well for you also... *huggles* Planning on playing any WoW? (Sorry, I love talking to a fellow gamer!! :P)

Mark, good to hear from you. *cuddles* Sounds like a relatively busy day!! Shopping where? just for essentials I'd guess? :) How are you feeling?

Kahlia *cuddles* I guess I forgot that you struggled with an ED as well... :( that's too bad. How are you doing/feeling? I hope that you sleep well tonight as it's probably near bedtime where you are.

I'm really tired... of course... still in my pjs, with a cuddly cat on my lap (anyone want kitty snuggles?). It's just 6:10am here. Not such a busy day ahead of me, thank God - just 2 classes and they don't start til afternoon. I'm planning on staying home, playing WoW, and doing schoolwork til then. However, the landlord's coming to finish fixing the ceiling sooo... well, let's just say I'd best get dressed before he and his brother (?) come because my pjs are less than modest. Lol. Well, not THAT bad... :P Just flannel pants and a sports bra. But aaanyway... :P

I wish I knew what the weather was going to be like today...


CrazyHayley 13-04-2010 12:11 PM

Had a successful shower, though no shaving of the legs, lol, a bit of stubble I think is needed today whilst I am feeling so emotional and PMDDing - I don't trust myself.
My man is on his way over, having lunch first now. Will bring doggie bags back with me later - all healthy but oh so yummy and calorie free for us in here!

Edit: Oh hi April! I plan on playing WoW this evening when my partner has his band practise. I've only the one gnome Roseleigh, I think I still need to put all my energies into her for a while before my lil brain can cope with some others, lol. Oh and development circle is to do with my spiritualist faith. I won't go into details as I don't want to break any RYL rules or offend anyone. But no its definately not meant to be therapy and crying, whoops!

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